Shivam Diaries

Category: A10 — AMMULU STORIES AND OTHER FUN FOUNTAINS

  • You are welcome now to stay in this town



    ” Is there none who believes in truth, in this town?”
    ” why?”
    “When I say that I am a honest man, no one believes”
    “Oh, that is because there are no honest men here”
    “So, this town needs me”
    “Not at all. Because, you speak truth and there is none believing in truth here.”
    ”you are confusing me”
    ”Say truth; then you won’t be confused”
    “I don’t speak truth always”
    ” Now I am not confused and you are not confused. Welcome friend, to stay in this town”

  • My head is reeling

    “Aren’t you the father of our Kannan?”
    “Our Kannan, who is that? Anyway, I don’t have a son by that name”
    “No Sir, you are kidding. You are his father and I know that”
    “How do you know?”
    ‘‘Don’t ask that question, I know that is all”
    ” As you are so certain, let me confirm from my wife. Ammalu, do we have a son by name Kannan?’
    ‘’Not to my knowledge.”
    ‘’What do you mean by that? Can we have a child without your knowledge?”
    “Don’t ask that question. I know that we don’t have a son by name Kannan, not to my knowledge, that is all”
    “Sir, I am again reiterating with full responsibility that you are the father of Kannan, that vagabond, good- for- nothing guy”
    ‘’Yes, I am I am”
    ‘‘How is it that now you have now realized that you are Kanna’s father ?”
    ‘‘It is better to tolerate a good-for-nothing son than answer an erroneously emphatic idiot or an irresponsibly talking wife, that is all”
    “That is all, my doubt is cleared now,Sir.”
    “But my doubt hasn’t. Do I really have a son by name Kannan?”

  • "Love is antique,but ever fresh"

    “Ammalu, happy valentine’s day””Enakku vaaleduppum illai, vaythu valiyum illai”
    “You have carried enough load and I don’t say that you are carrying now,though you are capable of it. Valentine’s day is a special day for a man and woman to express their love for each other.”
    “What love is there between us to express? Moreover love is not to be expressed but to be experienced. Love loses its charm when expressed.”
    “But how will the other know if you don’t express that one loves him or her?.
    “If the other knows only through expressions, he or she is not worth to be loved”.
    “Ammalu, even animals express their love through their body language”
    “Body language yes, but not through mouth”.
    ”Your ideas are antique, Ammalu”.
    “Love is antique,but ever fresh”

  • A VVIP husband

    “Ammalu, is this the way to treat a VVIP ?”
    ”What  ‘P’ is that ?  And who is that ‘P’, whom I mistreated ?. I know only one ‘p’, that is ‘kaappy’ and I have never disrespected that ‘p’.
    “I am the VVIP and you have not stood up when I entered the house. ”
    “You are not. You are my husband and I will never allow you to become anything else. And how do you expect me to get up every time, you come in , with my arthritic legs?”
    “Ammalu, to be frank, I myself do not know the meaning of VVIP but that was how I was introduced to the vast crowd, by my party leader, when I was greeted on the dais, for joining the political party”
    “You have joined a political party and the party leader introduced you as VVIP ? Now I am getting up on my legs, for action. Please come out of that party immediately.”
    ‘Why Ammalu?”
    “VVIP could be the short form of very,very intelligent person, which I don’t want you to be.”
    “Oh, that is the reason why he garlanded me. Be proud of my intelligence, Ammalu’
    ”No wife will be proud of a very, very intelligent husband. She knows that he will outsmart her one day . It is more than enough if you remain as an average intelligent and affectionate husband which you are now”
    “What about my party leader?”
    “His wife will take care of him, you don’t worry”

  • "You are not a satellite and I am not a sun"

    “I will be going out of your orbit, in another few minutes, Ammalu”
    ”Means?”
    “I will be out of your influence, shortly.”
    ”Your Astrologer friend Goplan Nair said so, right?”
    “Yes. Another accurate prediction of the day!  He said that I will be out of Rahu, Kethu and Ammalu’s apaharams shortly for my good.”
    ” It is high time that he refurbishes his astrology specifically and his brain in general. Did he say, when you came into my orbit?”
    “From the day of our marriage, I have been spinning around you, he says.”
    ”And you believe?”
    ”Astrology never goes wrong.”
    ”But astrologers do. Hear me, please. I came out of Ammini’s ‘apaharam’, the old- ladies’ club, which serves only her needs and not of any woman old or young. She has immediately scribbled in a paper what her husband should tell you. Like you, Gopalan Nair too hardly think or say anything on his own. It is OK. The truth is that  you have never been spinning around me, because you are not a satellite and I am not a sun. You have been only moving parallel to me”.
    ”Aren’t you worried about that?”
    “Not at all. You can tell this directly to Ammini if that will make her blood pressure  raise by a few mm . And also tell her that as long as you are there, anywhere near me, need not be on the same line or in an orbit, my breath is safe.”

  • Meticulous preserver

    “Yesterday I was cleaning your cupboard and found a cartload of trash-Payment receipts for newspapers, magazines, cable connection, petrol etc. Why on earth you need them?”
    “Ammalu, you know how meticulous I am in preserving old things, unlike you, who throw away even the used tea dust and torn mopping cloth? One day or other, those will be useful to us, if not, for our children or grand children”
    ” Wastes are wastes, like some husbands. Ok, tell me honestly where you have hidden our house documents, Term Deposit receipts and bank locker key?”
    “Oh, my God, I collected the suit case with those, from the bank locker yesterday and lost it in the auto, I guess,while returning from the bank”
     
    Hyderabad,
    Feb 14, 2013

  • Be discreet in disclosing things to your life -partner

    “May I know the value of our plot in Hussain Sagar?”
    ” Ammalu, pity your general knowledge. Hussain Sagar is a lake, and the only plot in its center is occupied by  Lord  Budha”
    “Ashamed of my memory. I meant our Habsiguda land”
    ”Why this new interest?”
    “Our eldest son wants to know”
    ‘Bagavan Sri Krishna says in the Bagavath Geetha, ‘ be discreet in disclosing things to your life -partner’. Sorry, I can’t give you the information asked for. Incidentally, Ammalu, who is the eldest of our children, Ramu, Kamu, somu or Subbu?. My memory also is waning.”
    “Sorry, I can’t share that information with you.”
    ‘Why?’
    “Bagavan Sri Krishna says in the Bagavath Geetha, ‘ be discreet in disclosing things to your life -partner’
    Hyderabad ,
    Feb 14, 2013

  • 'Our rocket is already on the orbit now'

    “Dad, you here, in a movie theater, that too without mom?”
    ”Son, you here, that too with a lovely girl?”
    ” we had some intricate problems to solve in rocket science, Dad.. Came to find a solution from the hi-tech propellant techniques used in stone throwing in a public agitation presented in the movie.. Bye the by dad, this is Manju, my class mate. Manju, my dad.”
    ”Glad to meet you Manju, daughter of  Murali and Madhu, living in street no.5, near the bridge”
    “You know Manjus’ parents, dad?””
    ” I had been to their house this morning, to hand over your wedding invite”
    ”My wedding invite, dad, are you joking? I love Manju and I can’t think of another girl, even in my dream.”
    ‘You are going to marry Manju, my son. Mom and me had a detailed discussion with Manju’s parents and printed the invite card with their approval. See whether you like the card.”
    ” Dad, marriages are not decided in the speed of light. I need time. ”
    ”Manju, you too need time?”
    ”No uncle, I have no time to wait for. Please distribute the cards”
    ”Manju, are you mad? How can we marry now ? Postpone at least up to the end of the year, when our results will be out”
    ” The result will be out before that. Am I right, Manju?”
    ”You are, uncle, in another eight months.”
    “I don’t know what you guys are talking about. I want to go home and relax.”
    ”What about the rocket science, my son? Watch the movie, find a solution and come home ”
    ” Thousand rockets are soaring in my head, Dad.”
    ” What do you say, Manju ?”
    ”You have already found a solution to our intricate problem and we need not watch the movie. Our rocket is already on the orbit now. Let us go home . Aunty will be waiting anxiously “

  • Certain discoveries are to be kept secret

    ”Our first night was a real FIRST NIGHT, Ammalu. I am really excited. For the first time I loved a girl. I came in contact with a girl. I haven’t touched a girl so far.The first touch, the first love ah, ah, no word to express. Thanks my dear.”
    ”I too am excited. I’ll NEVER forget last night in my life. Ammu, bring that bundle I gave you yesterday’
    ” Why that wretched servant maid while we celebrate a unique festival together. Oh, you are getting my favorite sweet laddu?”
    ”Ammu, bring a match box too”
    ”Why match box along with laddu? Oh, it is not laddu, it is a cake and you are asking Ammu for the match box to light the candle. Intelligent girl, you are, a unique intelligent girl”
    ”I am an idiot, that was why I married you. Ammu is here with the bundle, I gathered from your cupboard yesterday. Here is the match box. Set to fire  these stupid love letters from your girl friends. NOW. Or I am quitting. Decide whether you want this bundle of nasty, dirty, filthy papers or me”
    ” Ammalu, you can read English?”
    ”I can’t ; Ammu read it for me”
    ” Give her a hundred rupee note. We should reward her for her hard-earned literacy”
    “I will take care of that part. She won’t tell any one else about this discovery. Certain discoveries are to be kept secret”
    ‘You are really a wise girl, Ammalu. Certain discoveries are to be kept secret”
    Hyderabad,
    Jan 27, 2013

  • Let me celebrate my birthday,which happens to be today.

    “” Do you  remember my date of birth ?  No. My birth star ?  No.  The name of my school or any such details about me or about my parents or siblings ? No.  But, even in your sleep, you can accurately recollect the names of the girls who were with you in your school and college days !
    May I know Sir, the secret of this selective memory?”
    ” My father used to say that what you learn at sunrise, always remains in mind. My association with the school girls was during the ascendance of my Sun.””But our relationship started when your Sun was at its peak !”
    ” You have answered  your query. Then onwards, my Sun is in a descending state”
    ”Then you go with any of your school mates; let us see whether your Sun re-ascends .”
    “Ammalu, you are my Sun, my Moon, my stars and my Sky.”
    ” I like that poetry. But tell me what is my date of birth?”
    ”Ammalu, the heavenly bodies have no dates of birth. They shine for ever.”
    “I am so proud of you ; Let me make some hot kaapi and share with you to celebrate my birth day, which happens to be today, adding your  romantic flattery to flavor the kappi.”
    Hyderabad,
    Jan 25, 2013