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Only marriage can tell you

‘SP Sir, your friend is critical. His pulse  rate is going down rapidly. His eyes are not opening’ 

‘Don’t lose hope sister. Ask his wife to stand close to the bed for ten minutes and call me’

‘Sir, success! The moment Mrs. Seshu went close to her husband, his pulse rate went up. It is normal now. But, he pushed my hands away.  I’m yet to change his dressing’

‘No cause for concern. He pushed your hands away from his body thinking those  belonged to his wife. Next time, if he repeats, stay put and observe what he does’

‘SP Sir, Success! I waited near his bed. His hands were searching for my hands. I could do my job. He likes his wife, obviously. Wonder why, earlier, he behaved as if he disliked  her’

‘Are you married, Sister?’

‘Not yet’

‘You will know the answer when you get married ‘

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Question of adjustment

‘Ammalu, if you make a little more adjustments, we may perhaps live more happily’

‘There is room only for one person in this chair and I can’t therefore accommodate you. I don’t mind handing over the chair to you and sit on the floor ‘

‘You didn’t get my point. I don’t want space in your chair. I want you to adjust in life, in our living together under the same roof’

‘That too is no problem. I can climb up the roof, though with difficulty and you can comfortably live in the house’ 

‘Oh, my God! How to make you understand ? OK . Don’t make any adjustment. Let us continue to live, as we are now’

‘That adjustment, I’m for’ 

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Beyond a wife’s expectation

‘You forgot to add sugar in the evening  coffee, Ammalu’

‘I gave you tea in the evening and not coffee’ 

‘And your Sambar for dinner tasted like rasam’

‘I served you rasam for dinner, not Sambar ‘

‘You’re kidding. I did bite a drumstick piece.  You add vegetables to rasam?’

‘What you bit was coriander leaves’

‘What’s happening to you, Ammalu?’

‘Nothing for me. You’re aging’

‘And you’re becoming younger, my dear wife ?’

‘Thank God, you realized that I’m your wife and not a Murinkai Kai piece  in the rasam, I served’.

‘Ammalu, a girl is dear till she becomes wife. For me, you’re dear even after living together for over four decades’

‘SP, you’re adorable at times and tolerable most of the time!

‘A woman can’t expect more from her man’

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Ammalu is always right

‘Ammalu, I couldn’t believe what I saw in Kittu’s house, this evening’

‘What happened? There was a bear sleeping on his cot?’

‘No, he was washing his wife’s clothes. The other day I saw him cleaning the kitchen’

‘Who’s wife’s and whose kitchen?’

‘His’

‘Then, what is your concern? Husbands are not unselfish. For giving something, kittu would be reaping something much more valuable’

‘What could be that? I will find out from him’

‘No need. We both are too late for that ‘give and take’

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Ammalu is always right

‘Ammalu, every one, except you, like what I post in the Facebook ‘

‘I like YOU. What else do you want ?’

‘You really?’

‘Now, I don’t like you’

‘Why Ammalu?’

‘You should have asked that question when we met first and not after living together for over fifty years’

‘Ammalu, now I accept that there is some meaning in what you said’

‘I like that ‘some’, SP.  Behave always like a learned man, which you’re. Behave always like a honest husband which you’re . Behave always like MY HUSBAND, not Ammini’s, Paru’s or anyone other woman’s which you are not. Thank you.  Let MAtA Saraswathi give you knowledge’

‘You said just now that I’m knowledgeable!’

‘Don’t know how long it will stay. You’re so unpredictable’

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” ‘You are too modern, Ammalu is too conservative’, say my friends”

”No problem, SP. I will change in a jiffy”

” SP ? Jiffy?  What language is this Ammalu?”

”The first lesson in modernism . Shall we go to the next?”

” Let us remain illiterates but live in peace and dignity”

”Your friends?”

”I will tackle them”

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Ammalu is always right

‘Ammalu, the day is not far, when as Lord Budha did, I’ll leave you and go away, far, far away, while you’re in sound sleep’.

‘Give a tip before I go to sleep’

‘For what ? To fall at my feet and cry and cry to stop me ?’

‘No. To pack your thermos with a tumbler of coffee’

‘Oh, what a compassion ! Trying to bribe me with one tumbler of coffee? Why only one tumbler, madam ? Why not two ?’

‘For the second coffee, you’ll be back home ‘

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‘I bought the steps, dolls, saris and other stuff for the Golu, from my hard earned money. What’s your contribution Ammalu, other than placing the dolls an the steps, as you do with the vegetables inside the fridge? And for that you get all the credit. ‘ Ammalu’s Golu, Ammalu’s Golu!’- everyone talks!

And me , nowhere nearby!’

‘You should have told me about your grievance when I was arranging the dolls. Even now, it is not late. I will make space for you to occupy a prominent place among the dolls, on one condition – you shouldn’t open your mouth’

‘For singing ?’

‘No, in appreciation, every time a woman enters to watch the Golu’

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‘Ask for anything you want, Ammalu. I’m like Karna of Mahabarath’

‘Your mother threw you into river soon after you were born?’

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‘Your attempt to argue with me on science, art, literature, history and geography is inversely proportional to your intellect, knowledge and wisdom. Ammalu’

‘God made us like that. With directly proportional geography and other things, I would not have gifted you with our children. Have some common sense, SP!’

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‘Ammalu, after all for whom should I save money, if not for your pleasure? For the Navaratri expenses, I’m sanctioning  a liberal grant of Rs. 101 this year. Enjoy’.

‘Do you want me to invite my friends (many are your friends too) for the Kolu or not?’

‘Yes, of course. Invite every one. Ammini, Paru, Parukkutty, Karthiayani, Kamalakshi, all your friends ‘

‘Ammukutty, Thailambal?’

‘Yes, Yes, call all your club members’

‘Are you mad? If I call all the Club members, I may need Rs. 5000 or even more’

‘What’s Rs 5000 these days, Ammalu? Draw Rs.10,000 or whatever you want!’

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‘Can we discuss our problems and come to an understanding, Ammalu? I’m your husband’

‘You asked a question and gave the answer too. What is there to discuss now?’

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‘Can you spare a few minute for me Ammalu? I’m your husband’

‘I can but not immediately. I’m your wife‘

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‘Ammalu, now I feel that I made a mistake by saying ‘yes’ immediately when your father asked me whether I liked you, during our very first meet’.

‘Immediately? You were awestruck by my beauty and sat for full  five  minutes, mouth wide-opened! Your father had to sprinkle a palmful of water to bring you back to normalcy. Without his asking whether you would like to  marry me, you started nodding your head in agreement so forcefully that your mother had to apply balm for a week to remove the sprain’

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Ammalu is always right

‘Ammalu, I’m an old man, poet in heart. I see beauty in Nature, women, trees, hills, everywhere. You can’t ask me to close my eyes and walk on the street’.

‘I never asked you to close your eyes and walk on the street. I said, ‘shut your mouth when you see women’’

——————-

Ammalu, did you notice in the Onam party, Ammini, Paru and Parukutti, all the three wore saris with the same border’

‘How do you?  They were sitting along with me and away from you’

‘I saw from the back, Ammalu’

‘Why are you still at their back? What is your age,SP?’

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‘Naathaa, naathaa, buy me a diamond necklace! Now, now, please. And take me to an English movie. Let us celebrate Onam in a grand way’

‘Stop that raspy barking of a funny fox’

‘As you wish. Shall I call you my Lord?’

‘Don’t open your mouth at all. Your silence for an hour  is equal to my pension amount for the whole year’

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Ammalu, standing mouth -opened like a statue at the entrance?  Come and collect these bags from my hands, you good-for-nothing old woman!’

‘SP, you went for Onam shopping wearing the 

Kerala sari Ammini gifted to me! You couldn’t differentiate a sari from your mundu, dothi? And I’m a good -for nothing?’

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‘Diabetes is dangerous with no treatment ; 

Wife is dangerous even with good treatment’

What do you say,  Ammalu?’

‘What to say? Your response to my treatment is poor and I should think of alternate methods to bring you back to normalcy’

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Ammalu is always right

Ammalu, my eyesight has become so poor that I lighted the agarbathi at the wrong end’

‘That is ok. But be  careful when you talk to my friends. Their eyesight is not as bad as yours’

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‘Allow me to go wherever I want to, allow me to do whatever I want to. Who’re you to stop me, Ammalu?’

‘Too late for you to learn who I’m, SP’

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‘My heart  is as big as our central hall. Ammalu, your  standing at the gate is not going to stop the entry of your friends, I like’

‘ I’m occupying the entire space of your heart SP, which you may not be aware of. Where’s space for another woman?’

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‘Ammalu, there is a bright chance of my receiving invitation for giving a katcheri at the Chennai Music season. Will you help me to reach there?’

‘You want me to hold your hand and take you to stage?’

‘Pity you!  Let me put it this way for you to understand- will you keep your mouth shut, when I’m at home practicing music?’

‘You’re at home only for eating food. If you keep your mouth shut, I too will’ 

‘You’re a stupam of stupidity, Ammalu. Stupam means pillar’

‘I’ll  Put it in a way you understand . I’m a stupam or a pillar but with a mouth, which I should shut when you practice ?’

———————-

Ammalu, what is the general opinion of your friends about me?’

‘General opinion is you’re ok. Specifically if you ask, you’re yet to grow’

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