Category: A10 — AMMULU STORIES AND OTHER FUN FOUNTAINS

Aging is not a problem, but entering the danger zone is

Friends,

Like a farmer sowing his limited stock of seeds carefully, Ammalu uses her words sparingly but her mild and measured body movements are more vocal, if I may say so, than her words.

‘You liked this sari? ” My question.
A mild monosyllable ‘um’ ഉം,means ‘it is so,so’ The same letter pronounced with clarity means it is OK and when accompanied by a smile on the face, suggests that she simply loves it..Instead of um’ ഉം’ she may sometime, respond with oh ഓ or a double oh ഓ,ഓdepending on the degree of agreement.

‘Innu’, enna innu, ongalaithan, these words, a husband hear a hundred times.That is how ammalu and all ‘alus’ of her generation used to address their husbands. That was how their grannies and grannies’ grannies would have addressed their honeys. Surprisingly, my DIL, Meghana also calls her husband the same centuries-old way, though she is modern and employed. She is simply following the foot- steps of her mother or  MIL .The belief was that if the wife addresses her husband by name, his longevity would be affected! The real reason could be the boys were named after their grand parents and it was considered disrespectful to use elders’ name by the DIL s. More over our names are too long and they get shortened to Venki, Chuppai etc. and the harmless ‘enna’ becomes handy and polished than the crude Chuppai or Chuppani. I would have ran away from the house if Ammalu had called once Chuppai or Chuppani or Chupprai. Subbudu is less rude.

While she was standing thus, her hands firmly on my shoulders, face opposite to mine, sari almost touching my knees, there enters, through the main door, which is always kept open, except at night when one goes to sleep, our neighbor Chami  pattar, raises his voice to a shrieking pitch and exclaims, ഇതെന്ന കൂത്ത്‌?,‘ ithu enna koothu? what is happening here,what am I seeing!, I can’t believe my eyes etc.
‘Koothu’ is a stage play. You would have heard of Chakyar koothu, mono act by Chakyar, theru koothu , street -play etc. it  attracts people. it is something interesting .
‘Ennak koothai kanteer inghe, Eakadasi brahmana! ?’ my MIL protested. ‘Eakadesi brahmanan is one who starves on theഏകാദശി Eakadasi day, for spiritual emancipation.. Nothing wrong in it . But some Brahmins starve just to enjoy the Dwadasi food better the next day in temples etc. ! This may not be true, but that is the intention behind the funny usage here!
‘Pattam pakalilae eppidi Appu on ponnodu kayyaiem pidichikkindu ?” ‘How can ‘Appu’, that is me, sit shamelessly here holding your daughter’s hand ? ”– Chami pattar wonders.
“Appu alla kayyai pidichikkindirukkan. En ponnakkum avan kayyai pidichikkindirukkal. Avan aaru, theriyuma ? ‘Mangalyam thanthuna ennu manikotti thalikettina aambadyanakum.”
This ‘ആമ്പടയാന്‍‘ is a unique title for pattar husbands. ആത്തുക്കാരര്‍ AAthukkararar is a more familiar word used by those in the villages adjoining Tamil Nadu. കണവര്‍ its equivalent in Tamil is not a familiar name among pattars.
”It is not Appu holding my daughter’s hand; it is she holding his hand, for your information and they are a married couple as per the sanction of sastarams” –MIL retorts.
ഇതു കൊന്ജം അന്യായം താന്‍ ‘Ennavanalum paarukkutty ithu konjam anyayam thaan ‘  ന്യായം is justice and അന്യായം is injustice. But here the meaning is less stringent : ‘anyway, this is too much” Pattar says.
When I see couples move around in public places rubbing their body, or scratching the bottoms here in US or in any western countries,  I used to remember this interesting dialogue.
Chami pattars son and daughter- in- law enters; She is pregnant and struggles to climb the steps when her husband gives a helping hand.

 ” വീട്ടുക്ക് വീട് വാശല്‍ പ്പടി താന്‍Veettukku vedu vasal padi than ” ‘There are steps before every house’ is the literal meaning. The inner meaning is ‘such practices are common to all’. Obviously the father was not happy the way his son helped his wife’s hand to climb the steps.-
Pattar asks his son, “what did that idicha pulli pattar tell you?”
Puli is tamarind andഇടിച്ചപുളി idicha puli is well compressed tamarind block. Those who do not reveal their mind easily are called idichapuli
The son keeps mum.

ഒന് വായിലെ എന്നാ കൊഴക്ക ട്ടൈ യാ ‘On vaayilae enna kozakkattai ya ?” meaning is there a kozakkattai or sweet ball in your mouth, which prevents you talking ?
Then pattar’s daughter in law comes forward and talks non-stop.
‘Nee oru ottai patram aakkum’ admonishes her husband. ഓട്ടൈ പാത്രം   Ottaipatram is a vessel with holes, which cannot hold water. Ottai kai is different. The one who is a spend-thrift is an ഓട്ടൈകൈ ottaikkai.

ഓട്ടൈ വായ്   Ottai vai is the one who cannot keep secrets, You tell something to your neighbor with a specific warning to keep it secret, the next moment it has spread all over the village like a wild fire.
ഒന്നോടു കയ്യും ഓട്ടൈ, വായും ഓട്ടൈOnnodu kayyum ottai,  vaayum ottai means you are a spend thrift and a loose talker too.

വെടുക്ക് വെടുക്ക് ‘vedukku vedukkunnu chollathunko’ reacts the DIL.

വെടുക്ക് വെടുക്ക് Vedukku vedukkunnu is speak instantly without thinking. ‘parukkutti nan poren inke ശന്‍ടെ   മന്‍ടെ ഒടെയറതു sandai mandai odaiyaratu- I am leaving; they are quarreling
sandai is quarrel,  mandai is head . Neenkal eppidiyo ponkkal enakku enna innaikku chethal nalaikku pathu.  he curses the kin before leaving. Innakku chethal nalaikku pathu is if I die today tomorrow is the tenth day. This shows his disgust.
ട്ച്ചേ ട്ച്ചേ tche.tche, don’t say that’ MIL consoles him .
ട്ച്ചേ ട്ച്ചേ ,ച്ചു ച്ചു, ച്ചോ ച്ചോ  are sounds to reveals intense feeling, in disgust or wonder. How do you translate such wonderful meaningful words to other languages ?

ട്ച്ചേ ട്ച്ചേ-you should not have done so.
ച്ചോ-who slapped my child! etc
Depending on the situation the above mono syllables may carry different meanings.
You would have observed that most of these phrases are unique usages of kerala Iyers and belong neither to their original Tamil nor to  Malayalam of their adapted land. Like their olan, kalan, avail, erisseri and such food items, these phrases too have their own identity. During my school days , when my friends were mostly Malayalee boys, I did not like these usages.  Now after seeing many places and hearing several dialects, I want them to be  preserved as such as I am anxious to see that our village houses, with sloping tiled roofs, kootam, thinnai etc should also be preserved for the future generations.
I know that I am asking for too much.
Love and regards,
sperinkulam,
Baltimore,
Dec 2, 2011

Comments :
Mama,
Cyber santhathikku yennodu vahai oru “jai”…….
Naanum antha nalla swabhavam copy pannalam yennu ninakkaren. Yenna sollarel? Anuvatham irukku yennu ninaikkiren 🙂
Regards
Kamesh

Mama, you are really brilliant.  You still  living in those wonderful days, simple conversations  you had with Mami, Patti  and all that dear and not dear people you have met in your life isn’t it.  Keep sharing…I am enjoying all those dialogues like ‘Ummodu uruttum Perattum Inga venda, Mappalai Pambara viruthanakkum ellam vasichittu veeda renda polakkaren  inga. 

For the past few weeks, a very important issue has been rocking my head, after reading the first post, later extended to several pages, as to where should one’s head be, while lying? I threw over the wall all other unimportant matters unnecessarily occupying half a page in the leading newspapers, such as swallowing billions by a simple, single dothy-clad servant of the down trodden and the treachery of a woman selling  the security secrets of our country for a few chips from the enemy.
In this series, the best question I liked and which made me motion- less for a moment  was,   “Position of Husband and Wife in bed. I mean, wife should be to the left or right of the husband.” The question was absolutely accurate and worth pondering but I made a small mistake. Unbecoming of a person of my age, I got excited at the first part of the question, and then moved on to read the remaining part. That, ‘I mean ‘ took away the glee.
Sometime, explanations expel the essence of a sentence.
Till now, I have never worried how my bed was placed  and within moments I mount it and shut the eyes, the incomparably compassionate hands of the divine damsel, sleep, hugsS me close to her chest. When I tour the villages in India, what all I needed was a  6 x3 feet space, any where in a corner, preferably under a tree or on a meadow, from where, I can look at and enjoy the moving clouds and shining stars and also look for any flying snakes in the sky of my childhood stories narrated by my grand mother. The fear of the messengers of death dragging me away, the moment I wake up facing the South was not there. ‘Ignorance is bliss’, they say.
Thanks to Sri.N.Balsubramanian’s erudite explanation, now I know which side the head should be and as a science student, I should follow his instructions.
” Man should not lie down with his head towards the NORTH”
But how to know where is the North? That exactly is my worry.
I should find out now, as I am feeling sleepy. My grand daughter looks at me wondering why I am moving around the house, holding a pillow  instead of snoring in my bedroom.
“Ananya, where is the North?”‘ I ask her. Spreading her small, silky hands perpendicular to her body, she replies in her wavy American accent. ” The sun rises in the east. when you stand facing the sun, the South is towards your right, the North, towards the left  and the West is at your back”
I  understood. Children teach us many things in life if you are prepared to hear them.
With the satisfaction of providing the right answer, she goes to her bed.(Lucky one, she doesn’t know the law of lying ).
Ananaya has slept. But my problem still exists.There is no sun in the sky to look at. It is night. How to find the East?.
My son Sharath is playing with Nikhil, the mini motorbike without wheels.
”Sharath, where is the  East?”‘
‘” How do I know,dad?”
“Unlike me, you do sandhya every day and do not know where is the East?”
‘By six, I leave for the office, you know dad. Where is the opportunity for me to see the sun?”
‘You don’t look at the sky while driving?”
“No dad, I look at the road ahead and not at the sky”
But what about the week ends? You don’t come out of the house and watch the sky?”
‘I do . But the sun doesn’t appear on  Baltimore sky, on week ends.”
He did not wait for my reaction. Once they know that they have answered your queries accurately, as my son did now,our children move away. In our young days, We didn’t do that as we  were  uncertain of the accuracy of our replies.
‘Appa, is it not time for you to strike the bed?’ Inquires Meghana.'”Why do you walk around  with a pillow in hand?'”
“There is a problem. a small one of course” I assure my daughter in law and ask her,” In which part of the sky does the sun rise?”
Stretching her long,lovely hands towards the duck, she replies,”‘Yesterday,I saw the sunrise right about the cherry tree there”
“Fine, to day the sun chose a different place, to rise ?”‘
” Could be, appa”  her reply was convincing, “being Saturday, I got up late today and saw the sun above the Oak tree there”  She points to a different direction.
Suddenly it dawns on me that tomorrow being Sunday,the sun will not visit the Baltimore sky which means I have to spend two nights without lying on the floor.
Placing my medicine chest and a tumbler of water on the side-table near my sofa,  Ammalu, without giving me an opportunity to ask her my question, which has become standard now, comments:
“Phavan Kishan kizhakkem irukkar, vadakkem irukkar (God is there in the East as well as in the  North).  In the twinkling of an eye, she has disappeared and I could hear the sound of our bed room door, closing behind her .

——I am sorry. This is not the way to treat a long-time husband. She cannot blot her mouth like a mini pumpkin and turn around when I look at her. The steaming coffee I placed before her, is getting cold as well as the hot water for her bath.
“Ammalu, you know that my character is as spot-less as the stainless-steel vessels I have just washed and my moral as white and bright as the hair on your empty head” I yell at her. “What then, makes you to sit like a marooned mouse on a house top surrounded by rising flood waters?”
‘Yes, I am an old owl with white hairs or a mini mouse with a long nose” She retorts although in a low voice, “My only prayer is that God should lift me up before the flood waters swallows me”. She prays half-halfheartedly turning towards the pooja room and suddenly withdraws her eyes to tell Lord Krishna that she did not mean it.
Wisely,  however, she pours a few drops of coffee into her mouth, apparently enjoys the taste and then continues. ” But don’t expect me to hide behind the cow- shed and play hide and seek with you”.
‘”Say again”  I plead.
She halts in a corner, after pacing for a moment and looks at me as if I am an object not worth looking at.
“And I will also not allow you to lift me up from the bath tub and rotate above your head”
“What nonsense are you talking, Ammalu?”
 
I am in  total loss to understand her romantic  poetry. I peer like a frog from a pool while she opens the table drawer and throws a bunch of paper at my face.
“I will read it for you”  She looks at me scornfully, while I search for my reading glass and continues, ” don’t claim that this is not written in your hand”
Again wisely, she enjoys few more drops of coffee,  shuts the front door and windows and reads the contents of one of the sheets in her hand.
” My lovely Belgium chocolate! My shining, dark Kozhikkode alwa! As I told you yesterday, the ideal place for you to hide is the small area behind the well and the narrow lane behind the cowshed. Remember to hide behind the doors if some one enters without notice”
She crumbles that paper and picks up the second one. After a deep look into my eyes, and  tasting a few more drops of coffee, she reads the second page too.
“And my cone ice cream! I want to pick you up from the bath tub and rotate above my head.”.
” Ha, ha, ha”  I roll on the ground like a child unable to control my laughter. Suddenly, the side door opens through which enters Mandooka Reddy, my ex-colleague Parvatha vardhanam’s husband who lives a few houses away.
“Eamaiah, neeku budhi undha?” Are you sane?  You want to lift my wife from the bath tub and roll her around your head ?  “
This is serious. Not something is wrong somewhere but every thing is wrong everywhere. How many can I carry from the bath tub and rotate above the head?
Ammalu, who was pushing her clothes into her steel trunk which she brought as a dowry,  ready to leave the house,  closes the box and laughs loudly . ”phooh, it is Parvatham, your cone ice iceream and Calicut alwa, whom you are after ?” She picks the coffee tumbler empties the contents in one gulp, throws a lavish look at me and declares , triumphantly: ” I am relieved; she is so bulky that neither you can lift her nor can she can run around the  cowshed”
The telephone rings. She picks up the receiver. It is obvious from her body movements and facial expressions that our grand children are on the other end. “Why always, ‘thatha, thatha’?” She asks the kids with a mock anger, “am I not a human being? Do I exist in the word or not, for you ?”
“Relax Ammalu!” I collect  the phone and console her.” The children were asking how I would be entertaining them when they come here shortly for vacation. You know I forget things. I had , therefore, prepared a short note so that I can convey my program over phone with out mistakes. You mistook that for a love letter and created a scene. And how do you expect me to be after a bulky woman like Parvatham, when you are there , right in front of me , so sleek, so tiny and so lovely, though a bit noisy sometime?
Anyway, I realize now that you really love me; other wise why should you be angry, illiah? isn’t it?”
“Too late a recovery” she commends , a hidden smile peering from her eyes, as if that was ur first night after wedding..
‘Avunaih, but why did you convey that message to my wife? “Asks Mr.Parvatham. He has  a valid point there.
‘Oh, a minor mistake” I assure him. ” A small confusion in dialing the  phone number”.
 
 
” Be cautious,  my friend”  He warns while leaving “ Parvathaam was pushing her clothes into the steel trunk which she brought as a dowry. She will land in this house anytime. That box is really spacious, strong and useful. I do not want to loose it. Do return it, please.
 
 
 ‘How lucky my friend is , to have a husband like you!” Ammalu comments now smiling sarcastically, while I  close the side door behind the visitor  to prevent the entry of  another  husband  scared of loosing another spacious, strong trunk box.
A minor mistake in dialing numbers can result in major mishaps, you see.

The dawn broke over the hills auspiciously on the day I left for US.  Ammalu’s   prayer before  hitting her bed  the previous night, was not in vain. ‘Nalekku kannai thorkkarathe nallatu kananame, Krishna!” –“Only auspicious things should I see when I open my eyes, tomorrow”.
When I opened the front door to welcome the heavenly glory slowly emerging from behind the eastern hill,  Ammini amma, my former colleague and wife of my friend Gopalan Nair,  staying in the opposite house, was waiting at the front gate with a bucket- full of water and a broomstick.  With wide-opened eyes I looked at her wondering  why she should  clean our frontage and before I could ask for the clarification, she started sweeping and cleaning turning her back at  me. Instantly,  from nowhere, Saniyan (that was the name given by Ammalu to my neighbor’s pet dog; actual name Sawny), came running wagging its tail, made a right turn, rested its huge body on the gate, lifted a leg and standing authoritatively  showing its  back towards me, emptied its bowl  exactly on the black granite slab laid for the purpose of drawing the kolam.
Ammalu, wiping her eyes came out of the bed room and was shocked at the awry sight in front of the house.
‘Krishna!’ she lamented to her  God, “did you wake me up to see the back of Ammani and saniayan, early in the morning?”
“What is there for you to see?” she directed her anger towards me,” Why don’t you get inside and attend to your routine?”
Gopalan Nair retired as a professor. The movies showing  American professors entering the campus with an umbrella in their hand prompted Nair to carry one with him, even while going for a morning walk. The stick is  a necessity for him as a support but his entry into our house, holding an umbrella and stick, early morning, annoyed Ammalu.
“Kodai, vadi, choolu-ini ethavathu bakki irukko-umbrella, stick, broomstick( all inauspicious objects) anything  left?”  Ammalu’s  anger was  understandable.
“Ammiarea, kappi ready ayo-is coffee ready?’” I could hear Nair’s  inquiry and Ammalu also would have heard it. Otherwise she would not have replied in a low voice, ” Kappi on mottai thalele kottaren- I want to pour coffee on your bald head”
“‘Ammalu, one cup for me too” demanded Ammini who joined us, with another bucket of water and broom stick, as the dog’s menace could not be wiped off with one bucket of water .
“Nee enthikkidi Ammini. Chumma chumma choolem morathem thookikindu kalam karthale ullevarai?”
So early in the morning why do you come so often with inauspicious broomstick ? “ Enquired Ammalu, in a pathetic voice .
“‘So what Ammalu?” ‘ I admonished her, ‘you still believe in such stupid things? As a good neighbor and friend she wants to help you as the maid servant has taken off today”
‘Mannan katta-rubbish” her husband came out with the truth. ‘Ammini wants to give you some materials to be handed over to her daughters in US. She is preparing the ground for that”
‘She has already done so” I interjected  pointing my finger to the corner where baggage was arranged, “that black suit case is full of her things”
Nair wanted to say something but paused as the panthalu from the temple was entering with a broken coconut and some flowers. ‘Meeru America veluthunaru katha, prasadam theeskkondi” . I requested him to keep the prasadam in the pooja room .
“Oru ottappattarum vandaya?’ -And you, a single Brahmin too  arrived to complete the list of  inauspicious things?).
Panthalu would not have understood a word of Ammalu’s contempt.
But I understood clearly that Ammalu had a point when Nair explained why Ammini was showing unusual interest in the cleanliness of our frontage.
“Sami, this woman is mad!” That is OK. All husbands say that. But what he said subsequently was not  OK.
“She wants to send through you, three  portable granite grinders with pestles to be delivered to our daughters in America. Those are for powdering chukku, dried ginger, for preparing chukka vellam, medicated hot water for drinking”
Sakunam (signs and signals)  is showing its teeth well in advance!
Ammalu is always right.

“This Ammini is an alpam, maha alpam (silly woman)”
“Yes, I know that”
“How do you know that?”
“you said it now, you have said it earlier and you have          been saying it for the past 4o years, Ammalu”
.
“If I say one word about Ammini, your intimate friend, you will jump at me”.
“Yes we are intimate friends. We studied together,we       worked together in the same Institute, in the same labs for 30 years, went together for tea break,excursions,picnic,   conferences and kathakali shows”
.
“There is a black mole at her back; it is so ugly”
“There is a black mole near her right eye too”
“How do you know that?’
“One night ,there was a sudden power breakdown in the Labs and all the lights went off. I noticed it, then. Immediately we came out of the room”
“Immediately you came out of the room?”
“Yes”
“Then, it is OK”
“You were enjoying her mohiniyattam in the cowshed from morning to evening today?”
.
“No.It was a rehearsal for the Kathakali show in our club for Vishu and you arranged that program. Ammini was practicing the role of Poothana and I was practicing singing”
.
” No doubt a poothana she is. But why practice in the cow-shed?.
“Then where? If we practice in our house you will yell. If we do that in her house that nil-head Nair will scream.
If practice in front of our house, neighbors will shout”.
“Are you going to dance to together?”
“No. I will be doing her make up and also help her in the graceful draping, as none here, including you, can do that job. It will take more than two hours and I do not want any one to come inside the green room”
” When do I come inside the green room?”
“We will come out.She will occupy the main stage and I will go, stand in a corner and sing”
“Then, it is OK”
“Will you give the Vishukaineettam in her hand”
‘Kaineettam is always placed on the open palm, but, as you object I shall place the coin in the opening of her blouse or tie it with the end of her sari”
‘Then, it is OK”
Love and regards,
sperinkulam
” Give a handful from your plenty to those deserving”

“What an Amazing  amalgamation  of artistic skill and engineering extravaganza is the human body!”
I wondered, agape at the splendor of scarcely clothed women, black, fair and wheat skinned , lean or lavishly built, relaxing all around me, while I lifted my head above the water level, in our  Community swimming pool. Despite Ammalu’s delaying tactics and discouraging discourses, when I insisted that I would go for swimming, she allowed me with much reluctance but not before issuing a warning,” you  should open your eyes only inside the water and close them tight, the moment you are out”. But thanks to my ‘anthratma’, my inner divinity who rekindled my deteriorating visual capacity and said, “don’t miss the opportunity; it is foolishness to hope for a tomorrow at your age”, I innocently opened my eyes and  saw His creations in the nearest natural forms. ” kudos to you, the Master Creator”
But believe me, later while lounging in the Sun, suddenly I thought about Ammalu and her mesmerizing ‘madisar’, the nine yards, traditional saree, and realised that she looked much more attractive and appealing than the hardly clothed women I saw around or the scarcely, partially,inadequately clothed many more, I used to see everywhere in the  western countries and of late in our metropolitans too.  A poem, painting, music or any artistic production should leave scope for imagination and there  lies the success of our traditional wears.
Ammalu always looks marvelous in her madisar. Flowers, one after the other, bloomed in her naval and one fine morning, she declared firmly,”Enough is enough” and stopped wearing it.
‘What would have happened had I continued that wear?” She asks often now, enjoying secretly the attraction provided by ‘that wear’ once upon a time.
I lift my eyes and hands up and say, “He alone knows”
Her face flashes her usual smile, to say that I was lying and I smile back to say that she was right!
What an amazing art pieces are the madisars and their younger sisters, sarees ! Women of different sects and states,with a few twists here and a few turns there, convert the simple six or nine yards cloth  into a marvelous decoration cum protection  product, each type slightly  different from the other, but all serving the purpose of giving full coverage  and leaving scope for imagination.
However it is a fact that madisar, with its abnormal size resulting in complexity in usage, is not a convenient wear more so, for the aged. When she realised that her limbs were becoming stiffer and failed to cooperate in performing  the semi dancing act required for wearing the complicated apparel, my mother  abandoned it reluctantly and switched over to gown and then to simple Malyalee lungi towards her end, which gave her better comfort .  Her more orthodox elder sister, who lived long, with a tonsured head near the Kanchi mutt, struggled with it till her last days, not even handing it over to others for washing, due to ‘madi'( maintaining aloofness to keep the mind and body pure). “What is madisar without ‘madi,” she used to ask.
“Panjacatcham and madisar being our traditional attire, we should wear it with pride”. Suggest our friends in the forum. Those commuting by the crowded buses or electric trains or riding two wheelers, are you hearing? With the school bus or riksha horning in the house-front, the children refusing to get up from the bed, the mother-in-law shouting from the kitchen and father-in-law murmuring from the pooja room, will you have enough time to wrap your body with those complicated customary apparel?  I doubt. ‘”Are we so old fashioned to keep the old couple with us? Don’t you know that they are living happily in the old age home, next to yours?” You may ask. I am sorry, I didn’t know that. I shall visit them soon and help them in searching your wedding clothes in their worn out suitcases.
Panchacatcham, vibhoothy, cool wind of the dawn or dusk, river or sea shore, a temple corner with oil lamps shining around, all these provide ideal ambiance for me for meditation  while I am in south India,  but I cannot stand before a temple in the Himalayan valley , bare chested or inadequately covered by the shorter clothe piece which goes along with the Panchacatcham. Like many other accessories, apparels also have to be modified suitably depending on the climate, life style and several other factors.
Ammalu could go back to Madisar. But she says “Woo, I am scared”.
A silly fear on a complex wear.
Baltimore,
June 18, 2008

” Hallo ,Venkittu, Appa here”
” from where ? Terrace?
‘No,  from the City hospital;  emergency ward.”
“What made you to go there, Appa?  To sell some surgical instruments?’
“No. The police brought me in an ambulance.”
‘Oh! But why? You were cutting the tree branches some time ago, in our garden . Wanted to sell some fruits to the police department/ ”
“No that. while gardening,  I had an urge to play golf and..”
”And you took  the  four wheeler and rushed, eh?”
‘No, I tried to board the bus, which was in motion and slipped on the road”
“Appa, you have crossed 90 and the Hyderabad roads are most unsafe to travel even for a person of my age. You could have at least gone by the two wheeler.  Anyway, glad that you are safe. Is the golf  kit ok?”
“It is .But I don’t see the lower portion of my  left arm”
“Only the lower portion and that too of the left hand?  Then don’t worry. I will be going for the pensioners’ meet  shortly. I shall pick it up from the road and hand over to you in the hospital.”
“Take your own time, Venkittu. But look for my half-a-dozen missing teeth also on the road”
“Don’t worry dad. You have still two dozen glazing teeth in perfect state”
“Hope you are coming by the two wheeler? ”
” No.  Your daughter in law has taken it to the dance club .  She is celebrating her 60^th birthday with her friends.”
“Let her enjoy.  My blessings to her.  How are you commuting?”
“I will come by bus. Your elder son has taken the four wheeler to the swimming pool, I am told.”
“Look. There is a road block near the bus terminus and no buses are stopping there.”
‘That is O.K. Appa. The bus will slow down near the  signals and I will jump into it”
“That is not a bad idea, my son”

– A hilarious story on a sleeper- class journey
As young ones enjoy disobeying their parents, we too derive pleasure in doing exactly opposite to what our children want us to do. Otherwise why should I prefer to travel by sleeper class, despite my children’s standing instruction to travel by air, wherever feasible, otherwise by a/c class but never by sleeper class?

I avoid domestic air travel as I hate to spend more time in commuting to and fro the air stations and waiting at the lounge, than the actual journey time. It is equally sickening to be caged in a compartment like a safari lion in the zoo, depriving free air and the lavish sight of moving trees, hills, meadows and maidens. Hence, I avoid a/c class also, despite the concessional rate available for senior citizens. There is a thrill in travelling by sleeper class, meeting people of different category, taste and habits. Those of you, who do not agree with me, are invited to read this story. Somehow, most of the women whom I meet, and I prefer to meet them, more than men, in A/c class train feel that they are on the way to promotion as Angels.

I go to Kerala, to recharge my battery, quite often.  Mother Nature is lavish is her ceaseless celebration there in all her glory and more you move deeper down, more is your exhilaration in participating in a perennial panoramic presentation of pristine beauty and grace . The pre dawn temple worship after a dip in a river or pond , Karnatic music in the evening followed by Kathakali at night, colorless, odorless sweet water and smoke-free air, all around – all these remove impurities from mind and body and rejuvenate the system. And the puzhukkkalri (boiled brown rice ) choru with olan, kalan, avaial, pappadam and uppilittathu (side dishes) –aunh!ikshayayai-real enjoyment! ( how miserably fails the art of translation in its attempt to convey the meaning of those two words in a different language !)

During my last return journey from Thiruvananthapuram in Shabhari express, a very fair, fat, well-dressed woman with her dark-skinned, pencil-shaped, awfully dressed and arrogant husband and half-a-dozen children of different ages and mixed shapes, boarded my compartment at Kottayam Junction. They had with them, unusually large volume of luggage and it was an ordeal for the couple to load their movable and immovable products into the compartments, before the train steamed out.
I got up from my seat to extend a helping hand but before I lifted up my back fully, the lady managed to push her generous bottom to occupy my seat.  Every millimeter space in the compartment had been fully filled by the intruders and yet, a few kids and cartons and a big jack fruit remain to be accommodated.
‘Can you hold this for a moment, Please ?,’  Pleaded the lady and before I could answer, the big jack fruit was already placed on my head. I go mad at the sight of the sweet, juicy, flavoured fruits but to carry the whole huge stuff with thorny, thick skin on my bald head, in standing posture in a superfast express train, Sir, was not a joke. I like my woman. She is bulky like a pumpkin, not thorny like a jack fruit. But I can’t carry her on my head in a super fast express!

‘I couldn’t make it to Pazhavangadi Pulliar, this time. Could this be his punishment?’, I worried.

I started worrying and simultaneously took a vow that during my next trip, I would visit first Pazhavangadi before moving to other temples. I wanted to pick up a coin from my right pocket and put it in the left one, to cement the vow but my hands were not free-they were holding the jack fruit.

But Pulliar answered my vow instantly and sent a cashew nut vendor to remove the load off my head and place it on the upper birth. Instantly, I removed a coin from my right pocket but hesitantly put it in the left one. After all, the job is done. Is it really necessary to please the elephant headed God ?

I continued to stand uncomfortably surrounded by children and luggage, looking at my seat being occupied by the woman, hoping that she would develop an urge to ease herself so that I could reclaim my seat the moment she gets up. That didn’t happen.

I picked up another coin from my right pocket and placed it in the left, without hesitating for a moment as I am now convinced that only Pazhavangadi has the strength to push the intruder out of her seat which rightly belongs to me.That was Perhaps a fake coin!

‘Carry your child’.  So said the fat lady and placed a kid on my hand.
‘My child!’. I shivered and struggled to breath.  ‘My child?’. I asked her again, lightning and thunder lambasting my head and heart.

‘All children are God’s children and God’s children are our children, while traveling in a sleeper class’.
She had a point there.

We reached Ernakulam Junction. The children rushed out of the compartment.
‘Catch them, they are getting down’ I screamed.
‘Let them; they are not mine’

She explained later that the children’s parents were in the next compartment and the lady brought them along with her, only to enjoy their company for a short while.

‘Manssilaayo? Understood?,’  She asked for my confirmation.

“Manssilayi-yes, under stood” I replied

At Trichur Junction, her husband, who was reading ‘Mathrubhumi’ weekly, sitting in a corner seat, got down and didn’t return..

‘’Your husband didn’t return’. I alerted her with a sorry face.
‘He is not my husband!’

She explained later that she took his help only to push the luggage in.
‘Every one who boards the compartment along with me can’t be my husband. right?’
She has a point there too.

‘’Manassilayo?” She inquired again

‘’Manassilayi,, manassilayi ‘, I replied.

I was to get down at Palakkad junction. The lady got down before me and didn’t bother to unload her luggage.
‘Madam, you have not removed your luggage’, I shouted running behind her.
‘Thosecare not my luggage’, She replied. ‘ The baggage belongs  to my friends in the next compartment and they will collect them at Coimbatore. You take care of them till the next station. Coimbatore to Palakkad is just one hour journey.’.

‘Manassilayo , Sami?’  She inquired again.
I nodded my head vigorously and replied,
‘Oh! Manassilayi, manassilayi’
‘you understood, what ?’ enquired, Ammalu, her eyes and mouth wide opened,
‘enakku onnum manassilayillallo!’ She lamented that she understood nothing .
‘Athum mansassilayi’ I nodded my head forcefully that I understood that too.
July 29, 2008
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