Shivam Diaries

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  • Machine for him and man for her

     
    “Any woman can live happily with one husband, but no man can. Why Ammalu?”
     
    “For man, wife is only a coffee maker machine for happiness. He fears that it might fail any moment as all machines do. So, he wants a standby.
    For woman, husband is a partner for life. For that, one man  is enough”
     
    (Cartoon courtesy RamKi)
     
    image
     
     

  • Thought waves – light, strong

    Two elderly people, mother of a net friend and father of another one, are bed- ridden. I have met both, the seniors.

    The old lady is in bed for the past over an year and I know how her son and DIL are struggling , spending sleepless nights to take care of their mother. Her condition is really bad. If I say I’m praying for her speedy recovery, those words are not coming out of my heart. If she continues to ‘live’ in the present condition for a few more months, I’m worried that the juniors have to find a bed near their mother’s. My usage, ‘life’ laughs at me!

    Knowing the actual condition, I can’t say, ‘wish her a speedy recovery’.
    How to wish her death? Am I human or demon? But the fact is that. And the fact is that the devoted kin are praying for that , not in a temple, but within themselves.
    The  father of the second friend, going by the report, is also not encouraging. I vividly remember his smiling face and serious speech full of wisdom and wit, when he released his own book, a product of a decade’s hard work and research . All those are gone. He is not able to utter a legible word now. He breathes through a machine . In the olden days, if the breath stops, no scope for brining back the bird which flew out of the cage. Now we bring it back and  tie to the cage momentarily  for a few days.
    A distant relative of mine, passed away last week at the ripe old age of 98/99 peacefully. She had a body wash in the evening, applied vibhoothy on her forehead , went near the pooja room and sat there for a few minutes minutes closing eyes.
    Like the peels of a banana fruit, the body fell.
    There is a prayer in Samskritham, starting with,
    “AnAyasena Maranam…, which my father included in his daily worship. As a child, who knew a few Sanskrit words, I used to wonder, why he, in the pink of his health, was asking for death, may be hassle free.
    Now, I realize its purpose. Now I repeat that prayer!
    —————————————–
    “Strong winds are injurious to shrubs, due to lilies, thunderbolts to mountains and the wicked to the virtuous”
    (Chanakya)
    “My son is good, his friends spoiled him,”— We hear; Accept. it could happen.
    “My son is good, his wife spoiled him”- Not accepted. No wife does it, as unlike the friends, she would be the first sufferer.
    But still if it happens, you are to be blamed as you raised your son as a coward .
    Chanakya didn’t say this, but he would have endorsed me, were he alive now.
    ———————————————
    Many children cursed as ‘good for nothing’ by their parents in young age are found to be the best supports for the old parents.
    Moral : Don’t curse your children . They choose your nursing home.
    ———————————————
    When I found one of my stories reposted without mentioning the author’s name, I wrote:
    “I’m happy that you loved my story and reposted it. However, As you haven’t mentioned my name, I’m disturbed like the one who finds his wife seated on another man’s lap”
    —————— —————————
    The sky has never fallen down by your telling a lie or cheating your wife. Only your trustworthiness has and will fall.
    ————————————————-
    “Aren’t you the same loose-talk Neelandan whom I met in the Guruvayoour Temple?”
    “No, that was my grand pa. His name too is Neelakantan”
    “You look much older than that orientation- lost old man”
    “Oh, that is because I’m married and he remains a bachelor”
    “Are you kidding? A grand son for an unmarried oval-shaped oldie ?”
    “He had a knack of becoming father, remaining a bachelor.
    You will be surprised to know that you are one of my cousins”
    “Thank you my brother. I have to meet some one urgently. Good bye”
    “Hope the person whom you are going to meet is not our grand pa, that orientation- lost oldie”
    ——————————————-
    More than your buying a diamond ear stud or a latest fashion wear, if you say one word of appreciation on the food she serves , your wife will get excited.
    Every time she serves food, every time you enjoy, say a word of appreciation, she will enjoy it.
    Always remember your house is not a restaurant, where you eat, pay your bill and walk out.
    And your wife is not your cook or server. She is your wife.
    That doesn’t mean that you should not give her any tips. Those tips are ear stud and fashion wear!
    —————————————————————–
    I don’t know who gave him the idea to include, in the return gift -cover, a wedding photo of the newly wed couple.
     
     
     
    Within an hour those lovely photos were lying scattered all over the hall, many stamped on by the guests returning after a sumptuous feast.
    Not a single gift packet was however, found anywhere over there!
    This really happened in Hyderabad and my fried Reddy, didn’t forget to mention in his invitation that the bride was his ‘okkattae koothru, only daughter’. After the girl was married off, he was blessed with another ‘koothru’ and that is a different story!
    I missed the second wedding in my friend’s house. Hope he didn’t include the photos of the just-weds in the return – gift pack.
     
    —————————————
     
    ————————————————–
     
     

  • Ammalu is always right

    “Life is difficult, Ammalu”
    “That exactly is why you are assigned to live it”
    “Life is difficult to live with you, Ammalu”
    “That exactly why I was made your wife”
    “Which guy decided so, Ammalu?”
    “Had I known that, you think I would be here?”
    —————————————————————————
    “When I look at your face, I want to look more, Ammalu”
    “Too late. When your eyes were bright, you looked at walls, doors and windows”
    “Ha, I won! I was afraid that you would say that my eyes, when brighter, were looking at Ammini, Alamaelu, Pattu et al. I have won, Ammalu”
    “You haven’t. They are my walls, doors and windows”
    ——————————————————————————-
    “In the old age, why don’t you sit in a corner, whispering Shiva, Shiva”
    “Why don’t you do it, Ammalu? Are you a teenager?”
    “I will . Let us see who cooks for you. Who spreads your bed and roll it. Who align your shirt buttons and adjust the borders of your dothi?”
    “Are these big jobs worth listing and boasting? A hundred women are waiting to do these petty jobs, if you sit on meditation”
    “Sure? On the first day, on the first hour, having come to know your behavior, they will lock you inside, keep the key safe in their hand bag and vanish”
    “Why escape with the house key? Are they afraid that I will complain to the police? Why the punishment for arranging a simple make- shift?”
    “No, the punishment is for me. For foolishly living with you for fifty long years, unmurmering “

  • Ammalu

    sivaratna@hotmail.com
     “Ammalu, Control the flow of fluid from your eyes, both eyes. I have decided to opt out from the post of your husband in the next birth. I’m sorry to hurt you, but I want freedom”
    “No problem. I too would like to have some elbow space. Shall choose a much simpler man, not a hi-fi  like you , who will sit by me on the door-step, facing the setting sun, holding my hand and sing along with me:
    “KAthukuthi thakkai pottu, kuripArpen ammae”
    “That korathi PAttu, LambAdi song, village folk song ? Where is music in it?”
    “The music is within me. His soul will absorb it and sing along with me”
    “But why on the door-step? Why  not on a chair, sofa, bench, cot ? Even on the top of a tree if you don’t like to sit below it?”
    “That was the place where my father used to sit along with my mom and sing during the early days, then along with me and my siblings and later with my children. A woman see, in her husband, her father, sibling, children and what I see in you is a scholar, writer, politician, magician and many more forms”
    “Every beat, every tune, every vibration from your heart I will absorb, Ammalu. And this  is a promise”
    “You will be, then, my husband for another seven births”
    “Promise?”
    “No promise”
    “Why Ammalu?”
    “I’m not sure whether any music is left in me now to be carried over to the next birth, after living with you for so long”
    “Don’t worry, Ammalu. You said I am a magician. I w’ll create a fresh spring of music in you, by kissing on your head. Stay there for a minute “
    “Oh, I know, you can. You can”
    “Good. Then let us go to the door-step”
    “Not to the door step. On to the tree top. I’m so excited”

  • Thathukkothooppan

    Thathukkothooppan
    ————————
    “You know cooking?”
    “Somewhat. Shall learn more from you, when I become your friend’s daughter in law”
    “Smart girl. You guessed, just seeing my face that I am a culinary expert”
    “Not seeing your face uncle. Hearing your question. You didn’t have any thing better to ask a prospective bride”
    “Our RAMU is a gentle man to core. He hasn’t, so far, looked at the face of a woman other than his mom and sisters”
    “And me, uncle”
    “Wonder how?”
    “We are friends for the past two years”
    “Then why all this thamasha of meeting with the girl etc, before marriage?”
    “Raju’s parents are unaware of our relationship”
    “Relationship? Don’t say that you are already married!”
    “I have to, uncle. We have a two year old child”
    “Shiva, Shiva! I quit. Why did Subbu ask me to join him for this visit?”
    “He didn’t uncle. You volunteered”
    “You seems to know everything through Ramu. I’m quitting . Before leaving, let me ask you one more question. You know preparation Paruppu kanji”
    “No uncle. I can prepare Thathukkothooppan”
    “What on earth is this?. I’m hearing that name for the first time”
    “A Thai special. Ramu loves it”
    “Ok. You carry on. I have some work in the next street”
    “Will you come back soon uncle?”
    “For what?”
    “To taste my Thathukkothooppan ”
     
     

  • The law of motions

    If your son nods his head vertically agreeing with every stupid words of yours, don’t boast that he is the best son in the world. You have made him a coward, if he doesn’t disagree with you at least on a few occasions. Push him out to play with his friends, to get beaten and to beat others. To get scolds and to scold others.
    He will improve and his head will start its horizontal to and fro movements. Earlier you do it, better for him. He is growing. He will stand on his own legs. He doesn’t need your spoon feeding. You can retire comfortably.
    If there is no change in him , I advice take him to a psychiatrist .
    And if there is no change in you, better you meet with a psychiatrist .
    A danger is hiding behind the haystack, if you ignore now. His vertical head motion will stop the moment you ask him to marry a girl of your choice and the horizontal mode will start. The vertical actions start again, the moment he marries a girl of his choice and only before her.
    His horizontal head shakes ,stored safely on the Desktop, will open only when he meets you.
    So, decide now and act. I decided long ago and enjoy the fruits now,

  • A copy/paste story or something beyond that?

     
    I like pet animals, not in my house.
    “Why don’t you have a pet dog to give you company?”
    ,
    A friend asked me some time ago, when I was in my home at Hyderabad. I showed him my iPad and told him,” No other friend is needed when
    I have this with me”
    That was a mistake, I realized this morning. It is not always safe to depend on electronic gadgets alone for company
    Soon after I get up every morning, I open the main door and worship the Divine Lamp in the Sky, mostly silently with folded hands and at times with a Sanskrit prayer. It was raining this morning in our colony in New Jersey and the Sun was entering the sky with an umbrella. I could not therefore see the face of the self Luminary.  Still, I did my prayers.
    For a few minutes I worked on my iPad . Suddenly, a cat sprang from nowhere and attacked me, concentrating its eyes on my right hand. A woman could pounce on me; a dog could pounce on me but not a cat! That was my understanding but I was wrong.
    Having failed in my attempts to push the ferocious four-legged back, I sought the help of my daughter in law, a lover of cats, puppies and squirrels and also my son.
    I never doubt the efficiency of my daughters in law, having seen from close quarters the way they manage their hubbies, who were my sons, before they became their husbands. Anjana pushed the cat with one hand, pulled my right hand and pressed my index finger on the nose of the little unfriendly animal.
    You will not believe, the cat went back, throwing an unpleasant look at me.
    “Appa, you were using your fingers for copy/ paste in the iPad. The cat mistook your hand for a mouse and attacked. It is not a big issue”
    Even for a short period, even partially we should not become animals, big or small.
    But, is that possible?
    No man can rise to the height of Shri Rama or Shri Krishna but every human is a Narasimha, half man and half lion. Depending on the basic nature and circumstances, he may turn half man and half horse, crocodile, pig, mouse, cow or cat or any other animal form, in the half portion of the body and mind. He might even turn to almost complete animal with minimum element of human hood in him.
    A very few men at some moment or other, might reach very close to the zenith of human hood, but none become a perfect human.
    In the rare event of a human becoming a perfect human being in all respects, he becomes a part of the Divinity
    image

  • Asoka and TArana

    This happened in a Chennai wedding, long ago. The boy was related to me. Like all other boys and girls related to me, this guy too was a good one, with clean habits.
    After the wedding lunch, he casually opened a small packet of ‘Asoka’ scented nut power, a popular brand those days and emptied it into his mouth, which was almost opened all the time since two days, wondering what all wonders awaited him post wedding. Chewing two or three betel leaves along with a cut piece of arecanut or a pinch of its powder, after marriage feast, was in vogue those days, but the girl, who had become his wife a short-while ago did not approve of it. She appeared from nowhere and stared at the boy who had become her hubby a short- while ago.
    “No”, she didn’t say but her eyes did. The boy shivered, looked at her pathetically as if she had noticed his winks at a girl in the crowd and blabbered, ‘’only today. I’m not habituated taking ‘supari’. In fact, I’m not habituated consuming even alcohol”. Some such silly words the newly wed boys used to blabber those days.
    I have a habit of extending a helping hand to humbled husbands. I went to his rescue.
    “He did it under my instruction’, I told the bride boldly looking at her. “The Sastras say, the bride groom, after lunch, should have a small dose of ‘Asoka’ nut powder”
    When you go to help someone in trouble, there are always people who resist. “Did the Sastras specify the brand?” unnecessarily intervened an old man, seated next to me. The old men had that habit those days. Now I don’t know, as I avoid them.
    “Yes”, I affirmed and quoted ‘Amara, Nirjara, Devaa ‘ slokam , which had nothing to do with the subject except that the first word has some resemblance with ‘Asoka’.
    My friend, as I expected, didn’t know the meaning. The girl opened her mouth in amazement. “Uncle, there is another sloka starting with ‘Asoka sthAana sthara’ which too prescribes enjoying ‘Asoka’ nut powder. I am sorry, I forgot that Sastra stipulation”
    But, there she was caught. The old man became alert. “That is from VishnusahasranAma, which is not a Sastra. SP quoted the correct apt one”. The great Bharthruhari had said that scholars, not those with gold armlets or neck chains, are revered, wherever they go. I wore neither armlets nor a necklace, but I had scholarship with me.
    If you know Sastras and quote the appropriate prescription, you are bound to get support.
    I have a habit of extending a helping hand to wives in trouble, too. I went to the girl’s rescue.
    “Mahavishnu had two wives and therefore he had the habit of enjoying two brands of scented nut powder, ‘Asoka’ and ‘TArana’, post lunch. What other justification do you need?” I asked the old guy, who was inserting a big dose of black powder into his nostril. He sneezed out the whole powder along with some liquid forcefully, which spread on my shirt and discolored it. A good Samaritan should always expect some such punishments.
    What happened to ‘Asoka’ and ‘ TArana’ in the privacy of the newlyweds in the new night, I didn’t know and was not my concern too.
    Nor is yours, I hope!
     
     
     
    “Give a handful from your plenty to those whose hands are empty”

    Awaken by the autumn

  • Thought waves, some heavy, some light


    ‘ Many’-should not be allowed to become ‘too many’. Anything, money, property, friends, everything should be within the manageable limit, including your attachment to close relatives. That helps in the long run, when a load shedding becomes necessary. Load shedding is unavoidable one day or the other, for any one, including you and me.

     
    ————————————————————————————————————–
    Women are selfish. They worry only about their husbands and not others’ husbands.

    Men are less selfish. They admire others’ wives more than their own wives.
     
    ——————————————————————————————————-
     
    There is a joy in telling others that you are more knowledgeable than many others- I’m talking about men.

    There is a joy in hearing that you are more beautiful than any other, in the neighborhood–I’m talking about women.

    There is a joy in hearing that you don’t look your age and in fact look much younger than others of your age — I’m talking about old people.

    There is a joy in hearing that your child is very naughty – I’m talking about parents..
     
    There is a joy in feeling that ‘I have done my job in this world; let me quit’- i’m talking about myself, but it is a joke!
    ——————————————————————————————————————
    There are many outdated, unwanted stuff in our thoughts- People, their behavior, your behavior, their words, your words and so on. Those are waste materials, which serve no purpose and in fact blocks the entry of fresh air.
     
    Anything which blocks flow of fresh air into the mind should be completely removed .
     
    Not an easy task, but worth trying.
    Trash removal is done regularly for a healthy living.
     
    —————————————————————————————————————————–
     
    Forgetfulness is a part of old age. Many even forget their names. But none,their wife’s.
     
    Not because of fear, but out of necessity. Husbands are shrewd! Wives know that!
     
    —————————————————————————————————————————–
     
    IT IS ALL ABOUT CONCENTRATION
    “Concentrate on the road, when you are driving.
    Concentrate on the key board, when you are typing.
    Concentrate on your diet if your belly is blotting.
    Concentrate on your children’s friends and habits, when they are growing
    Concentrate on your husband if he talks like a Sanyasi or a philosopher
    Always concentrate on your wife to lead a happy life”
    ‘”When do I concentrate on God, SP?”
    “That only God can tell you. I assure you, He will tell you at the appropriate time”
    —————————————————————————————————————————–
     
     
     
     
     
     

  • From a Facebook friend

    “SP, I’m your Facebook friend. I like your Ammalu stories. Awesome those are!  I like them “
    “Thank you, madam”
    “In fact, all your posts are awesome. I like every one of those”
    “Thanks again, madam”
    “And wah ! what  wonderful pictures, you post!  I like each and every one of those”
    “I’m indebted to you madam, for liking every post of mine.  Where do you live, madam?”
    “In Hyderabad, SP”
    “Excited. I too live in Hyderabad. Can we meet some time?”
    “We have met, SP”
    “We have met? When was that, madam?”
    “Some fifty years ago, when you came to our house along with your parents for the marriage alliance. Every one in my family liked you”
    “Then what happened, madam?”
    “I didn’t like you”
    Cartoon courtesy: RamKi
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