Shivam Diaries

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  • Nandi's prayer before an abandoned shrine

    The duty assigned to me is to be here, facing you and I have been doing my job sincerely.
    I hardly see any devotees turning up theses days, may be because your shrine is battered by weather and bears the scars of aging.
    But, the deterioration is only for the house and not  for the Great one housed in. Why are men not realizing this?
    But, thinking in larger perspective, if no devotees enter this premises, why should you be here at all, my God! And why me too, without you?
    When severe rain and sun batter me and I hear no bell ringing, no melody of hymns flow from your sanctum, no flowers and drops of water fall on my head,  and  you remain in long silence ( may be in meditation), my dirty mind even goes to the extend of doubting your very presence inside.

    You are there, I believe that you are there. Stones do not move, but Gods should.
    Let us  move Mahadeva, move from here.  This is not the place for us. Let us go back to our snowy heights.
    ABANDONED TEMPLE AND NANDI BMK

  • Navaratri musing

    ” Sarvadapaani charanae, sarvodokshi siro mukhae,
    Sarvadasravana khraanae, Narayani, namosthuthae”
    The A wonderful image of the Paraskathi for meditation.
    Recall the’ Sahasraseersha purusha: sahsrakksha saharapaad’ image of the Supreme Purusha:
    and
    “Anekha bahoodara vaktra nethram –‘ of the Viswaroopam in the Bagavath Gita.
    Such a Universal Supreme Force, we are trying to confine into small idols, during the Navaratri festival and worship, as our power of imagination is limited.
    Transcending time and space, the Universal mother , stands above and beyond everything in the world but at the same time, abides in every moving and unmoving thing, nay SHE IS every moving and unmoving thing.
    Let us worship Her in small or big statues at home or in  temples, but also  look at the vast sky, crowding clouds, shining sun, moon and stars and try to see the Viswaroopam .
    When we realize that verily we are a part of THAT, nay, WE ARE THAT, we achieve the purpose of our life.
    MAHIRASURAMARDHINI

  • Wife-battered life

    ”Enough of this wife-battered life”, my friend Pattabhi lamented when I met him an year ago and vowed in utter desperation,” if you want to  meet me next time, you should climb the steep Himalaya mountains or plunge into the deep Ganges”.
    ” Where is that good lady, your wife? I am not seeing her here”,  I inquired looking for her, in every corner of the house.
    “You call her a lady? She is a karadi, bear, who sucked honey form my bank and blood from my body”.
    He got up from his seat to emphasize his hatred for her and headed towards me as if I was  that carnivorous animal he wanted to do away with.
    I got up but  wanted to  explain to him that I am a different person, in fact his close friend and not his wife.
    Ammalu pulled my hand and said with a smile, ” he will recoup, this is a mild infection. Let us go”
    ”Mild infection!”, I chided her, ” it is a wild, incurable problem. He has thrown away his wife from home; they are never going to meet each other”
    She smiled again as if Pattabhi’s  problem was no problem at all and every morning and evening, she had been meeting such estranged couples.
    One year rolled by.  I wanted to go to my friend’s house and find out whether he had already left for the mountains but Ammalu said,” wait”.  So, I waited.
    This morning, he was waiting for the bus while I was passing through. Stopped my car, asked him to board. Thank God that he didn’t embark on his mountain expedition  or had come back, unable to bear the climatic conditions there. I was relieved. Wanted to enquire about his life  sans wife,  but Ammalu signaled, ‘wait’. So, I waited.
    ”Where do I drop you, Pattabhi?”, I asked when I was about to reach my destination.
    “At Kalyani Nursing home. Pattu has given birth to a girl baby and I want you to come along with me and bless the child” .
    I almost got up from my seat out of surprise and happiness but Ammalu signaled ‘wait’ and I waited.
    After blessing the baby and greeting the parents, I whispered into Pattabhi’s ear, ” glad that you saved me from the trouble of climbing the mountains or diving into the river. We could meet on a plane surface and that on a very happy occasion.”
    ”Anna, any problems which you don’t want to share with me?”, enquired Pattu. Before I wanted to reply her, Ammalu signaled ‘wait’. I waited. But, my friend answered: ” Anna seems to have some misunderstandings with Ammalu manni, but you don’t worry; that is a minor infection.”
    Infections are there every where, I thought and  raised my hand to slap that guy but Ammalu signaled,’ no’; so I kept quiet.
    After coming home, I casually mentioned to Ammalu, “enough of this wife-battered life. if you want to  meet me next time, you should climb the steep Himalaya mountains or plunge into the deep Ganges.”
    Her response was not encouraging: “Old man, don’t nourish any such ambitions. My reproduction cell is locked, sealed and abandoned”

  • A father's musing on son's birthday

    WITH SHARATHA AND NIKHIL
    September 28, 2013.
    40 years ago on this day was born my seemanthaputran, eldest son Ananth S perinkulam, giving fresh life for me and his mother whose period of gestation was under much stress and anxiety due to an alarm bell rung by a gynecology expert. Unable to contain my joy, seeing the 3.2 kg chubby child, crying with full throat and moving his limbs forcefully, I cried, ‘Kutta’ and later seeing his blooming face resembling the full moon of the sharath season, I named him Sharath. Now he is Peri for his friends, but that is another story.
    Many events of Sharath’s childhood days pass through my mind. My sister who was with me then used to carry him followed by her husband carrying a small stick, to the preschool, as I could not stand him crying. When I took the kid to our Institute for giving vaccination, seeing my swollen eyes, my doctor colleague joked, ”why do you cry? the injection is not for you!”
    Like his mother and unlike me, he talks only when he should and talks sensibly, sweetly and softly. Again like his mother and unlike me, he never lies even for fun, he dresses meticulously, never boasts or gossips, keeps his things in order and maintain an over all discipline in life. But like his dad, he is very considerate towards his siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. And again like his dad, he doesn’t cross the Lakshmanrekha drawn by his wife, and that again is another story !
    While his mother used to struggle in the kitchen to make food for a number of guests, I used to enquire, standing 20 yards away, whether I should help her. A honest man my son is, he doesn’t act that drama. He never goes anywhere near the kitchen to help his wife and she doesn’t grumble as I had warned her sufficiently  in advance. I am really proud that he can make his own coffee or tea , a good one, unlike me, when his wife is away and when there is no other way.
    Again like me, he met the girl whom he was going to marry only on the previous day of their wedding.  But there was a minor difference. He saw her photo, corresponded and chatted before giving us the clearance for his nitchitartham. In my case, father performed  the nitchitahartham and sent a telegram, “your wedding is to take place on– at –. Come well in advance”
    My ‘Oh, Parmasukham’ story, though a bit exaggerated, is all about that.  Anyway, that again is another story.
    Sharath has acquired his grand pa’s qualities too. Appa used to spend  a few minutes every night , before going to bed with his aged mother and enquire how her day was and whether her needs and comforts were fully met . My son also does it . However tired he might be, he sits with me and enquire about my health, before he retires to sleep. My father used to explain to his aged mom, just to give her the importance of the head of the family, the income and expenditure statement of the daily business form the shop. Sharath stopped that practice when I questioned why he was not bargaining in  Walmarts, Patel shops, Pissa huts etc. ”Appa, that is not done here”, he clarified.  He might be right. Many things like bargaining or torn shirt or shoe- repairing, as we do there, in Hyderabad or Palakkad are not done here.
    The husband and wife excels each other in their generosity in serving me. Someone had told Meghana, when she entered our house, that though I am well behaved, some of my inner parts, especially my pancreas, are not .  Recently my blood sugar lever shot up, as it often does and my children knew about it as they keep a constant watch on the working of my external and internal parts. As a dutiful daughter, Megh broke a laddu into 20 pieces and counted the number of golden little balls to be given to me. Even experts err and she, a Mathematics expert, erred. “Eight or nine, please count this once”, she took a second opinion from another Maths marathoner in the house, her hubby. ”It is OK, give Appa the entire thing. Appa loves sweet and be liberal”, advised my putrasikhamani as if he was generously permitting the release of  twenty Thirupathy laddus!
    For the Aavani avittam there was a miracle here. The level of the payasam which Meghana had kept in the fridge, after giving me half a spoon, had gone low.  After returning from her college,  I heard her screaming, ” Appa, the payaasam level has gone down”. That is not a good news, especially if there is someone at home with misbehaving pancreas .
    ” Evaporation”, I replied casually, looking at the side wall, as if it was not a subject to be discussed at all. Single word replies, sometimes invite sarcasm .
    ” A science man telling this ?” She looked into my eyes, as if I told her something unbelievable.”Dad, I kept the payasam in the fridge and not in the oven!”
    Single word won’t be sufficient to face such an onslaught. So, I had to elaborate.
    ”Megh, you could be right ; I am not aware of the latest progress in science. I left the science labs long ago, you see”
    When I lifted my head after revealing a great truth, she was standing before me, her eyes glued to my face and mouth partially opened.
    ”You don’t believe my words, Megh?” I asked, innocence inundating every word .
    ”Whose words will I believe if not yours, dad?” she replied, sincerity sandwiching her words and action.”I am only wondering who corrected your science papers !”
    Professional jealousy !
    I wish my son a very happy birthday. May the God’s karunakataksham be always with him and his family.

  • When the Baltimore sun becomes weak

    Maples and mulberries are losing their sheen
    Oaks and pines are watching the scene
    How the all- powerful Sun is getting weak?
    How the noisy, busy wind is turning meek?
    How fortune changes like a celluloid show!
    Where those sharp arrows from the golden bow?
    Where the vagabond winds’s trumpet blow?
    Where the birds, bees and flies, the Nature’s glow?
    Mother Earth, consoles the trees with compassion:
    ”Wait a few days, a new scheme is in motion
    The sky and wind are weaving shawls in great passion
    To greet and honor you for your contribution.
    How generous were you in providing
    Food and Shelter for the crawling and flying!
    The felicitation will start soon; colors are vying
    Golden yellow, red, purple, the stars are dyeing.
    I hate to discourage you, but truth has to be told
    Nothing lasts long, you will shed those clothes of gold
    Stand naked like a hermit, do penance and become bold
    To face the onslaught of the snow and extreme cold.
    Ah, then arrives  His Highness, the Emperor  of the heaven
    In his golden chariot drawn by speeding steeds seven
    The celestial hands rip your pricking snow needle cover
    Then he wraps you with fresh leafage, like a lover
    Lose one and get another, that is Nature’s law bounden
    You will lose even your trunk, when it becomes a burden
    But will be back again and like me, round around our warden.
    As there is no end, only bend, for the daily dance in this garden”
     

  • Ammalu is always right

    ” ‘You are too modern, Ammalu is too conservative’, say my friends”
    ”No problem, SP. I will change in a jiffy”
    ” SP ? Jiffy?  What language is this Ammalu?”
    ”The first lesson in modernism . Shall we go to the next?”
    ” Let us remain illiterates but live in peace and dignity”
    ”Your friends?”
    ”I will tackle them”

    ==========================================================================================

    ” I bought this paper-back on basic English literature for you Ammalu, as you won’t be able to digest the thick bound volumes in my library.”
    ” ‘The most wretched and frail of all creatures is man, and withal the proudest. He feels and sees himself lodged in the dirt and filth of the world, nailed and riveted to the worst and deadliest part of the universe in the lowest story of the house, and most remote from the heavenly arch, with animals of the worst conditions of the three, and yet in his imagination will be placing himself above the circle of the moon, and bringing heaven under his feet’”You know, my beloved husband, who said that and if not , refer to the thick volumes in your library. And then, this:
    Oh, man, you may fly high, high and high and grab the moon to decorate your crown, but,  my beloved man, don’t try to pull down the heaven and spread it below your feet. For, I am that heaven that nourishes you, that gives you shine and rain”
    ”That second part I understood, Ammalu”
    ============================================================

    “I often wonder how I remain happy and healthy despite a married life lasting more than three decades, Ammalu””Simple: Healthy because of my food and happy because I don’t ask you to make that food”
    =====================================================================
    “Was it my round face or renowned scholarship, which attracted you Ammalu, to chose me as your husband?”
    ” 1.Even if your face were square, our wedding would have taken place.
       2. I didn’t choose you , you didn’t choose me ; our parents chose, we got married.
      3. I enjoyed you scholarship when you spoke to me in Sanskrit at our very first meet and others too would have enjoyed as they    knew    how bankrupt  I was in that language. In fact that was the best of your talks, till now,  I enjoyed most”
    ========================================================

    “It was a golden era, when wives used to receive husbands , returning home, at the front door, make them sit comfortably on a raised platform, wash their feet with clean water, apply sandal paste and worship with flowers. Hei, where are you going Ammalu?”
    ”To get clear water, sandal paste and flowers”
    ”That is OK, you can do it next time. Now you just address me respectfully”
    ” By your name as in the passport?”
    ”Oh, that will be tiresome for you. You can use a shorter version”
    ”SP Sir, as Ammini calls you?”
    ” You are not Ammini and that is too formal”
    ”Just SP ?’
    “You are not my classmate”
    “Natha! following the heroins of the epics ?”
    ”Outdated”
    ”Then tell me then, how I should address you”
    ”Considering all the other options, I feel that the way you address me now is the best”
    “Thank you ; that was how your and mine mothers and grand mothers and their mothers and grandmothers used to address their husbands”
    “Ammalu!”
    ”Natha!”
    ”Will you stop that nonsense? Serve food please.”
    ”Clear water, sandal paste and flowers?”
    ”Pour on my head. You naughty woman. Hunger is eating my intestine”
    ==============================================================================

    konjam common sense kammi
    ————————————-
    ” Ammalu, three days, just three days after we were married, I realized the greatness of God in match-making. How He had found a receptacle to pour my  over-flowing intelligence and  accumulated wisdom!”
    “For me it took less than an hour to realize God’s match-making skill. On the eve of our wedding, when we met for the first time, without any introduction, you straightaway, gave a lecture about your assumed adventures with unborn girls in your college .My mother was taken back and  whispered into my ears, ” are you sure you can handle this guy?”
    I replied, ” I can Amma, konjam commonsense kammi- commonsense is wanting and I can load him with that.”
    ====================================================================================
    ” Can I sit here in the kitchen watching the beauty of your handling big and small utensils, Ammalu?”
    ”Certainly no, my dear husband,  If you want me to cook for the Uthradam feast for your dozen friends.”
    “I actually came here for–”
    “Tell me in one word what you want, please”
    “you.”
    ” Excuse me, say  again.”
    “Water”
    ===============================================================================================

  • Ammalu is always right (contd)

    “I was casually going thorough an old ledger and found that a sum of Rs. 500.00, promised by your father, towards dowry is still
    outstanding. I am mentioning this just casually, Ammalu. ”
    ” You have seen only one side of the register. In the next page there is a debit entry of Rs. 4500.00 . When none from South Malabar, North Malabar, Cochi and Travancore came forward to give you a girl, Appa, considering our relationship with your family, agreed for our wedding. Overjoyed, Our Appa, your dad, instantly handed over Rs. 5000.00 to my dad. Then Appa said, “your son, probably without your knowledge, had asked for a dowry of Rs. 500.00, which I am retuning from the amount you have given now.”
    This explains that RS. 4500 .00 debit entry, in case you are not aware of it.”
    “Ammalu, I am really surprised. Never expected you to talk so much and so eloquently.”
    “When it is the question of saving the parental prestige, even a dumb woman will become eloquent”
    “Dumb, of course, dumb! You are a bomb,  Ammalu, bomb!”
    =======================================================

    ”It is raining cats and dogs. I can’t go out. Shall I sing to entertain you, Ammalu?”” I am delighted. However, have some urgent work with Ammini; will be back soon”
    ” Ammini called just now to inform that Nair is singing and she is heading towards our house”
    ”What else will the poor wives do if the husbands fail to choose better entertainments, while the weather is conducive !”
    Hei,wait a minute! You suggest we play chest?”
    ”No, football!”
    =========================================================

    “Onasadya was adipoli. Everyone praised me for my skill in the culinary art. Thanks a ton, Ammalu””Wonder why you thank ME if they praised YOU!”
    ”You know I believe in sharing all good things with you”
    “OMG, I bow before that skill of your tongue in claiming credit for a merit which you didn’t deserve and partaking a portion of the credit to the one who alone deserves the whole”
    ========================================================

    ”Ammalu, see whether you like this Kerala sari, with golden borders, I bought for you as my Onam gift”” Did you take Ammini with you for selecting the sari?”
    “No, why?”
    “Please take her and return this . What you have bought now is an 8 yards dothi with golden borders and not a sari. Ammini will cover up your blunder, more effectively than me.
    =====================================================
    For the first time, I am seeing a sheen on your face, Ammalu”

    ”Thanks for looking at my face for the first time”========================================================
    “Soft-spoken women need not be always good-speaking wives, Ammalu”
    “Soft-spoken men, if there are any, always are good-speaking husbands”
    ============================================================

  • Ammalu is always right – contd

    “You are blooming. What is the matter? Did Ammini say that you are the most eligible bachelor in the world ?”
    “She was about to say that but had a choke in the throat. She simply said that I am the best husband”
    “That idiot should say that to her husband and NOT to MY husband”
    ————————————————————————————————————————–
    “Why that mischievous smile?”
    “Imagining how your face will look if you wear jeans and T shirt”
    ” Imagine how YOUR face will look”
    ——————————————————————————————————————————–
    “Have we met somewhere, madam? Your face seems to be very familiar”
    “Man, I am your wife for 30 long years and what is wrong with you today. Who has cast an evil-eye on myhusband?”
    ”I am so sorry, Ammalu. My eye sight is failing  briskly, don’t know why”” That is a cause for concern. Do one thing; sign all these cheques. Who knows
    tomorrow, it might further deteriorate”” But how do I sign when my eyes could not recognize my dear wife of 30 years ?””No problem. Here is the stamp pad. You can affix your thumb impression”
    “How do I find my thumb”
    ”Don’t worry;  I know where your thumb is”
    “Hei, wait a minute. Who placed Ammini’s photo in my cheque book”
    “Who said that is Ammin’s photo? It is my photo”
    “You think I am blind Ammalu ? ”
    ”So, you are sure it is Ammini’s photo and not mine?”
    ” I am, I am, I am”
    ”OK. Give back the cheque books. I need not worry about your eyesight for another 10 years.
    ————————————————————————————————————————

    “Ammalu, why don’t we sit calmly in a place and discuss about the ways to have more peace, more happiness, more—“
    “Look, I don’t think we need anything more now; in fact we need something less- your talk and nagging me for small, small requirement of yours soap, bath towel etc so that I can attend to more important work”‘
    “You already have enough of ‘mores’; why again ‘more’ for you?”
    “I simply love your such talks, more and more”

    ————————————————————————————————————————

    ” on one hand , just on one hand, if I tattoo, how will I look, Ammalu?’
    ” On my back, just only on my back, if I tattoo and wear a back-opened blouse, how will I look?”” Have you gone mad?’” Move a bit please; let me tattoo the floor and front doors first for the Janmashtami festival, before I turn to tattoo your hands or legs”
    —————————————————————————————————————————

    ” Whenever I talk about Ammini or Sundari, why are you looking at the ceiling
    or floor ? Why don’t you look straight at my face?”
    “Wherever I turn, up, sides or down, I see nothing but your charming face and sparkling eyes,  Ammalu”
    “Oh, man ! what an enchanting eloquence! what an enviable escape route!”
    ——————————————————————————————————————————–
    ” I have a feeling that in this house, my silence and soft-talks are mistaken for my weakness. If you don’t know the meaning of my words, Ammalu, refer to Oxford Dictionary ”
    ” Only you and me are there, in this house. So, I have a feeling that your complaint is against me. Anyway get ready. Let us go”
    ”Where to ?”
    “To get a thicker lens as the present one is too weak for you. It was a mistake, last time, we went for the cheaper ‘Si’ lens. We should also try to get some hard discs which will convert  your soft talks to harder ones”.
    “Ammalu, you make me go crazy”
    “What else a wife is for?”
    ” Oh, my God, you don’t need a Dictionary; you  can write a dozen. I used  the word ‘crazy’ in its simplest form. I can’t afford to go crazy at this age; and you too, I presume.”
    “I have a feeling in this house—“”
    “Ammalu, please don’t have any feelings. As you correctly said, you and me are alone in this house.”
    ————————————————————————————————————————————————
    ” I never knew that I was marrying an incompatible partner, Ammalu”
    ” I knew”
    —————————————————————————————————————————————————
    ” I’m a very honest husband. What say, Ammalu?”
    ” You are indeed a honest husband. And that is why I”m here.”
    ” Why did you remove that adjective? A miser you are.”
    “There are only two types; honest or dishonest. good or bad. I don’t see anything beyond that.”
    ———————————————————————————————————————————————————
    ” Ammalu, sometimes I forget who I’m”
    “Not a big problem”
    “Sometimes, I forget who you are”
    “Not a big problem there too. The real problem will come only if I forget who YOU are ”
    —————————————————————————————————————————-

     

    –

    ————————————————————————————————–

  • Ammalu is always right (contd)

     

    ” Aren’t you talking a bit too much , since we came here ?”
    ”Ammlu, unlike you, I have with me a treasure trove of wisdom to be passed on  to  people”
    ” I know you have; but this is a wrong place. This is a clinic where people, like you, have come to get their ears tested or to buy hearing aids”
    ——————————————————————————————-
    “‘Ammalu, that woman walking along with that man is his wife or mother?”
    “Is  she your wife or mother?”
    “No”
    ”Then, why are you concerned? Keep walking”

    ——————————————————————————————–

    “Ammalu, this is between us; the old lady in our side portion, is pregnant ?”
    “It is not between us; it is between she and her husband. Anyway, as you are curious, she is not old and she is not pregnant.”

  • It was 10/10 and he has won – a hilarious drama

    Wah, he did it. My friend Vaithy could find at last, an eligible girl for his 35+ son, a feat which the IIT Delhi boy could not achieve despite living in America for over a decade. Both the father and the son performed fairly well in the written test  held in the girl’s house and also answered most of the questions fired at them, without even wasting time for the formal introduction.
    Characters:
    G= girl, B= boy, GD= girl’s dad, BD= boy’s dad, GM=girl’s mom, BM= boy’s  mom and  GNI= grannie.
    The curtain raises up. A well-to-do family’s drawing room. The girl, majestically, reclines on a double sofa, her half-covered legs extending on the drawn-out leg- support, her parents and grannie sitting in an equally relaxing pose , in another one. The boy and his parents  delicately occupy  the third sofa, hope and fear waxing and waning alternately on their face.
    BD: We are grateful to you for granting this interview, despite the busy schedule of Sow: Pushpalatha–
    GM (intervening )=  ‘PUSH’, please.
    BD is wondering whom to push, her or her daughter, when the GM Clarifies: We call our daughter, ‘PUSH’ and her colleagues call her ‘PU’.
    B= Naturally, mami. Who would like to get pushed by a gym -groomed girl?  Laughs.
    GM= You say, Subramanian, that you have been in America for ten years and  you address me, mami?
    B= I am sorry, It won’t be fair to address you by your first name during our first meet and your surname is not known to me. Bye the by, I am ‘SU’ for my friends though the name given in my passport is —
    GM= That is OK. This interview is not for a Visa. She tries to laugh but G, by her eye signal, asks her not to.
    BD= My special thanks  to you for that half cup chaaya, your cook served  half an hour after we came, though a spoon-full of sugar would have been appreciated by my wife KU.
    BM=  My name given by my father, on an auspicious star, is kunjalamabal . You may, if necessary prune to KUNJA, but no further cut, please.
    GM = How do you call your Mrs. at home, Mr. VA ?
    BM= VA ? Who is that ?
    BD= Me, Vaithylingam. (Turning towards GM, he replies)  I call my wife  ‘DE’ and she calls me ‘ENNA’
    GM= DE and ENNA- Lovely. (Turning towards her husband), why don’t we too follow these novel names?
    BD= They are not novel names, madam. That was how my parents and their parents used to address their spouses.
    GM= Then, forget.
    BM (Whispers to her husband’s ear= Did her parents address each other KA and KU?
    GM = ( turning towards BD ) Any more questions ?
    BM= All the questions were so far from you. ( giggles ).  I am asking my husband whether we may move, if the interview is over.
    BD= I think we should, with your permission.
    He bends his head towards  the hosts, says, ‘namasthe’ and gets up followed by his wife and son .
    GNI: = Excuse me ( turning to B ), may I ask just one question?
    B = Sure patti.( instantly, he bites his tongue as if it had spilled the most heinous word in the earth and corrects),
    sure pa.
    GNI= Thank you ; considering my age, could you please call me PAT ?
    B= Yes, PAT, waiting for your question.
    GNI= I am sure that you are well versed in dish washing?
    B= I am,  PAT, by your blessings.
    He turns towards his father and extends his hand= Dad, that file, please. Let our venerable PAT see the certificates I obtained for vessel-cleaning, cloth-washing, floor vacuum and mopping..
    GNI= That is OK. Thank you.
    The B group again towards the exit, when the GNI calls .
    GNI= One doubt please.
    The B group turns back .
    B (smiling )= Go ahead with that one doubt, PAT. I mean the second one.
    GNI= I am sure that you will be able to handle diapers and baby clothes.
    B=  Of course. The young man’s reply was so instant and enthusiastic as if his job in America was mainly changing the diapers of babies all these years. He turns towards his father and asks for the certificate= Dad, that file please.
    GNI= Don’t worry. Thank you. I know you can handle anything including my pet grand daughter ‘PUSH’.
    B= PUSH, PAT?
    BM (Whispering to her husband’s ears)= Tell that old woman, that our son can handle her too.
    GNI grins and the B group tries to move towards the exit gate, when the old lady calls again.
    GNI= Excuse me. One doubt.
    B  (smiling)= Go ahead with that one doubt, PAT. In fact the third one.
    GNI = Are you sure  that you will be able to keep awake when the baby cries at night?
    B= PAT, what a question? Is keeping awake at night a problem for a computer boy ?
    He turns towards his father and asks for the file . The senior wide- opens his mouth,
    wondering  whether his son was working as a night- watchman in the USA.
    GNI= That is OK, Thank you.
    BA= Thank you PAT. Do we have your permission now to move ?
    GNI = (Turning towards GD)= you have any questions?
    GD= Just  one (turning towards B ) You do Sandhya, at least twice a day, right?
    B= What a question! The one who doesn’t perform that sacred duty in a foreign soil, is he worth to be called a Brahmin?
    Giving no chance to anyone to ask any more questions,  B pulls out from his bag a small copper vessel, collects water from the tap, squats on the floor, while his father watches, worry, anxiety and surprise overflowing his eyes, as if before him was a fast approaching tornado or tsunami .
    B sips three drops of water, one after  the other, with  grace, from the hollow he managed to produce in the  right  palm, maneuvering his fingers. No problem. Jai Bajirangabali!  In the next operation, he successfully touches his right and left cheeks with his right thumb -no problem again. He knows which is his right thumb.  Next, touches both eyes with right ring finger. Success again!. He knows which is the ring finger; there is a ring there.  Then comes the damn confusion. Three more fingers are left and he simply doesn’t  know which finger should touch where.  He looks at his father, not for help but wondering why that head, which has carried loads and loads, was slowly sliding.
    With a leap and cry, ‘Appa’,  he  holds his swooning father on his hands, places him on the floor, sprinkles a few drops of water from the copper vessel on his face. The father opens eyes, winks innocently  at his son,  G’s party comes running to help BD.
    The GNI, GD and GM praises B, while G, who never uttered a word, approaches B elegantly, shakes his hand  and coos :
    Well done Subramanian Vaithylingam Govindarajapuram.
    B: But, PUSH,  this interview is not for a Visa!
    G: It is. For entry into the kingdom we are going to build for ourselves. Yes, you are my dream boy, Su! We are going to live together as man and woman.
    BM: Boy !
    GNI : Yes, Kunj,  men are boys till they get married and  women are girls till they cross  eighty-five.
    ( She turns towards G )= Push, announce the result please.
    G=  OK, guys, Here we go.  ( turning towards B)=:
    1. SU, you have none of the skills grandma mentioned but without a wink, you tried to prove that you are an expert in every thing  and went to the extend of producing certificates you never had, nor you could have had— 2 marks.
    2. You had the foresight to carry with you a copper vessel, perhaps even without your dad’s knowledge and the courage to perform sandhya , though you have lost track of the procedure  long ago.                       —- 2 marks
    3. When you missed the fingers, your dad pretended to swoon  in order to help you out and you had the presence of mind to gasp the opportunity and come out of the pit you had dug for yourself    —- 1 mark for you  and 1 for your dad .
    4. You were cool like a cucumber when grandma threw questions after questions, when you were about to leave and answered each one, with a smile on your face —  2 marks.
    and
    5. With these  admirable traits you could easily fool me in life, I thought first. But when I found that you don’t know even your own fingers in the palm, I was convinced that I have nothing to fear from you. Your IIT Delhi, Colombia MS, 10 years US experience all become insignificant when you fail to know your own fingers.- No educated, working woman can ask for a better husband than you– I can easily win over you. —- 2 marks.
    GNI= And you called me PAT more than once though every time, your tongue was itching  to call me ‘Patty’
    — –  2 marks.
    So, how many marks total 10/10. You win our PUSH’s hands.
    B= Thank you for that push, PAT. Now can we push out? They all laugh heartily and the B group exits.
    B= Dad, she did not announce the marks for written test. Shall I go and enquire?.
    BD = Keep quite. If that old girl puts some minus marks, we will be in trouble.
    At the gate, the watchman Karuppuchami asks B=  Sami oothumo-you smoke?
    In no mood to answer any further questions, they moves towards their car.
    Before closing the car, BD  walks towards the watchman and whispers into his ears,
    “En payyan onnaium oothuvan, on thathavaiyun oothuvan-my son will smoke out not only you but your grandpa too”
    Having poured out his anger on the  watchman, the poor father boards the vehicle and shuts the door with a bang.
    The son smiles.
    “We won dad”, he proclaims.
    ”Yes, we won,  son”, the dad responds.
    The car moves and the curtain falls.