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Only marriage can tell you

‘SP Sir, your friend is critical. His pulse  rate is going down rapidly. His eyes are not opening’ 

‘Don’t lose hope sister. Ask his wife to stand close to the bed for ten minutes and call me’

‘Sir, success! The moment Mrs. Seshu went close to her husband, his pulse rate went up. It is normal now. But, he pushed my hands away.  I’m yet to change his dressing’

‘No cause for concern. He pushed your hands away from his body thinking those  belonged to his wife. Next time, if he repeats, stay put and observe what he does’

‘SP Sir, Success! I waited near his bed. His hands were searching for my hands. I could do my job. He likes his wife, obviously. Wonder why, earlier, he behaved as if he disliked  her’

‘Are you married, Sister?’

‘Not yet’

‘You will know the answer when you get married ‘

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Fear of a virus

‘Who can stop if destined to die from the virus?’. With that well known quote entered my house, a friend to chide me for cancelling my air ticket to Baltimore, fearing infection from travel.

‘Totally agree’, I endorsed his views and as usual, added a quote learned during childhood- ‘. വിധിയെ എതിർത്തൊരു ജന്തു നീന്തുമോ ?’ Who can go against the Fate? 

I didn’t stop with that . Requested my friend, not to enter in .

‘Wait there for a minute please. I’m getting water in a bucket to wash your legs and hands and also a torthumundu (short towel), to cover your mouth and nose. 

‘Why torthumundu? You don’t have a spare mask?’, he enquired.

‘I have. But better to have a bigger mouth cover as I have severe cold and a mild fever since this morning’ 

‘OMG! Krishna, Krishna!’  He dashed out in no time, without waiting to hear my another quote, ‘Vidhi praptho manava!’

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Moving water in the fish-less pool

I was pestering my daughter for the past ten days , to trace a jacket missing from my wardrobe. 

‘It’ll be somewhere, dad!’

‘Somewhere means, where ? I have searched the entire house’.

‘It’s warm outside. Why worry about warm clothes now?

‘If it suddenly turns cold?’

‘You have a dozen jackets in your wardrobe’

‘If a thief had entered the house and took away my jacket?’

‘No thieves here and if one enters, he has better things to carry away’

‘I want my jacket.  It was gifted to me by Poornima’

‘Ok, wait till Saturday. I’ll search, Appa’

Today is Saturday. Soon after up from the bed, I asked Aparna, ‘Konthai, did you find my jacket?’

‘Yes, Appa. Here it is. It was on a sofa in our patio’

 ‘Which idiot kept it there?’

‘No one except you, goes near  the pool, as the water is cold. You  sit on the bank and watch the moving water in the fish-less pool’

‘Moving water in the fish-less pool

Takes me  back, on my way to school 

Paddy fields on both sides with water

We jump into, with shrieks of laughter’

Aparna has better works to attend, than enjoying my poetry.

But I had no other work.

So, thought about my Chamikutti  athimbar’s anxious moments when his thorthumundu, short towel, was missing . He said he had, after his bath,  put it for air drying on a string in the veranda. 

He asked everyone whom he came across, searched in the hall, kitchen, everywhere but the damn thorthumundu was not to be seen.

I noticed a piece of cloth, hanging from the hip of an aunt, tagged to her ocher cloth. 

‘Oh, isn’t it athimbar’s torthumundu. How did it come to you? ‘

‘Camukkutti gave me ‘, was her cool reply. 

‘But Periammai, aunt, athimbar said he had put it for air drying and is searching in and out of the house!’

‘Mookkupodi jaasthi eattiruppan- rough meaning- he would have inhaled an overdose of snuff’, was her confident reply. 

I don’t use snuff. I don’t smoke. But moving water in a fish-less  pool makes me forgetful. 

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Worries on worries

My children, compared to me, talk less but say more. 

Yesterday, on FaceTime, Srikanth, talked more and said more about me.

‘You look worried Appa. What is troubling you?’

‘Nothing. I’m in high spirits, as usual’ 

‘You can hide nothing from your children and you know that’

‘Yes, I do’ 

‘Then come out’

‘Worried about —-‘s health’

‘He is in India. You, sitting in Florida, in what way can you contribute , to redress his grievances ?’

‘I know ‘

‘Good. If I take you by tomorrow’s flight to India, will you be able to render any service to him medically? 

No, as you’re not a physician. 

Will you be able to get food from home or stay in the hospital for one night? 

Difficult. You will be of little support to his family, by your physical presence there too. It makes no difference for them whether you’re there or here. 

Why do you worry then,  unnecessarily ? And what happened to your frequent posts in the Facebook, preaching ‘if things are beyond your control, worrying is meaningless’ ? What happened to your frequent quotation, ‘whatever has to happen will happen?’

He could not quote  the colloquial translation of the last sentence which my brother in law, Pallavur-  born late Ambi Anna told me, at Vancouver: 

‘What, what, when, when happeno, athu happanae happen! ‘

I know that. We all know that. But, knowing that, we, old people worry, worry! The present generation too know that either from us or from other sources, but they practice what they know, to the extend possible.

Practicing what we know or what we advice others, is not easy.

 

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They will never let you down

They will never let you down, never!

I have high hopes on the youngsters not only those from my family but on all, more so in the foreign settlers, to protect the culture they have inherited. 

They are intelligent and therefore analyze the old practices and absorb the best and most practical ones.  Don’t blame them if they, while taking out their vehicle, don’t look for  a cow with calf or a bull with a nose thread; those do not exist on the roads here! While driving their cars at 60/70 miles-speed they may or may not be hearing Bajagovindam or whisper some stotrams  learned in childhood, but will never bear any bad thoughts harmful to others. 

They may not be applying vibhoothi on their body every morning or visit temples regularly or do so only to please their wives. Doesn’t matter. God lives in their heart as they are honest and doesn’t hurt others feelings .

They may even , on their own, request us to help them to wear a new poonal or sacred thread on Avani aviitam, (in the absence of any threads on their body to replace with a new one! ) . It is Ok, the absence of external threads on their body are not that important as the internal threads of spirituality and sincerity are strong in them.

The happiest day in my life was when my sons agreed, on their marriage day, to wear conventional dress and strictly follow the conventions. I knew it was due to their lessons in cradles when they woke up hearing the gantanAdam, bell sound of my Shivapoojas. 

Be assured that if you had planted a Tulasi in their mind during childhood, it will spread fragrance inside them for ever. 

Ignite your children’s mind with our samskarams and that Deepam will shine in them brightening their thoughts and life. They will face their hard days boldly 

The first question I ask every person from India, who visit us is, ‘do you teach your kids, your mother tongue?’

 

 

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Parents’ complaints

A friend has a complaint; 

‘My son used to come running towards me the moment he heard my scooter sound on my returning from work, every evening. Now he doesn’t bother even to come to my room after he returns  from work. See how time has changed!’ 

Many parents have the complaint that, in terms of care and love , they don’t receive even a percent of what they gave to their children when they were young. 

They forget their sons and daughters are no more children They have grown up now and that exactly was what the parents wanted!

During their childhood their world was a small circle or a small square limited to their home, toys and playmates. The parents took care of all the needs of the kids. Now they

have many masters to serve, many responsibilities to carry on and many plans to be prepared and executed. We too had all these  burdens but our load was much less compared to that of the present generation. 

We could sit under a tree and 

chit chat and relax. 

The present boys and girls  have no time to breath! 

Still the majority of the present generation love their parents and serve them.

Parents, by comparing their young days with the behavior of their grown up children, are only making their life miserable.

In the picture I stand before the institute where I served

 

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The mango tree at the back of my kitchen

 

 


The mango tree at the back of kitchen whispered – from my blog 

Time 3.30 pm. Vicha ‘s electronic brain clock woke him up from his post-lunch nap. 

‘Anna, kaappi’

‘Wait man, let me solve this Sudoku four star’

After a minute or two-

‘Anna, still with Sudoku ?’

‘Vicha, kappi has to be made. It doesn’t flow from the water tap’

‘Sari’ . Ok. He agreed that kaappi doesn’t flow from water tap. 

I rushed  into the kitchen. To make coffee you need just two things, decoction and milk. No sugar for thammudu. Where is milk?  In the fridge. Very good.

Where is decoction?  

I could locate the filter, but it was empty. No problem. Srikanth had neatly labeled the dabbas. Picked up coffee -power dabba.

The holes of the upper mini barrel were all blocked. No problem. Let me clear the blocks with a needle. Where is the needle ! Searched everywhere. Not found.

(There is a box full of insulin syringes with thin needles, but my brain, had gone for a Kerala hartal)

A flash inside. Brain woke up like undesirable desires rising at my heart,  at times. Bad comparison. It is ok. Bad also is a part of life. Bad makes good strong. Black makes white whiter. White is often forgotten; black stays longer. 

White has gone leaving black behind. That’s why all these problems .

There is a solution for every problem. I switched on the stove and holding the percolator carefully with tongs, heated its bottom so as to burn the coffee granules stuck in the holes. 

The holes are meant for free flow. All holes! If there is a block in just one hole, life loses charm! 

After a minute or two- 

The bottom of the percolator turned black. No problem. That stain could be removed. 

Some stains remain for ever.  Man goes, but stains stay back.

Left the heated percolator on the kitchen platform and went to get milk from the fridge.

‘Don’t heat the milk now; let the decoction be ready’, 

Vicha’s advice from the hall. 

Opened the coffee powder dubba, removed the powder and just lifted the percolator with two fingers. It was still red -hot! I forgot. It didn’t .

Ohoooooooooo! The fingers got burnt! Ohooooooooo.

Rushed towards the tap to pour water on the fingers. Oooooo, pooooo! Tap turned but water didn’t fall. No tank in the tank. 

If there’s is no water in the overhead tank, you open a dozen taps, not a drop will come down! 

Tanks should never be allowed to go empty- any tank, even the one in our head or heart! 

‘Vicha, switch on the motor’, I yelled. 

He didn’t hear. I was not surprised. He was thinking about kaappi! 

‘Anna, kaappi aacho?’ Is coffee ready?’

‘Unduraa. I will blast your head.’, I screamed 

Now he heard, accurately.

‘Where is that?’, he enquired. 

You ask me any question, I can answer. But don’t ask where your head is! 

‘How difficult is the job of a house wife!’ I thought and praised mentally the woman who silently served coffee, 3/4 times daily, just for asking and even without asking for the whole family, friends and frequent visitors, for many years. She would have been appreciating seated on the mango tree branch, somewhere. Why somewhere, she might be right on the tree behind the kitchen. Why behind the kitchen, why not on the one near the well? Kitchen was the place where she spent most of her life. 

I praised my intelligence too.

‘Had I not used the tongs and directly held the filter in my hand and heated?’ Not two fingers, the whole hand would have been burnt. I was indeed a wise man.

‘Anna, should I come and help you?’

‘Oddu Raja, oddu. Your coffee is almost ready’

‘Kappi unda, illaya- are you going to give me coffee or not?’

I looked at the stove. Oh my god! The milk had boiled and boiled and boiled, had spilt on the burner, putting off the flame, leaving the base of the vessel charred. I was standing almost touching it but didn’t notice the overflow of its anger. 

Not surprising- I had stood  touching a woman, but failed to see her overflowing anger. Anyway that was when I was young. When you are young, you fail to see the face of your wife and when you long to see her front, she had gone and you see only her back, that too from far, far away.

Wrong! I see her face right behind the kitchen wall, from the mango tree. 

‘Anna—-‘ Thammudu reminds again. What to do now? No milk in stock. Shall I go out and buy a packet from the shop on the circle road? Poor Vicha is going dry with no kaappi which keeps him alive, though limping.

At that critical moment, the embodiment of immense mercy,

Saraswathy Devi, who had abandoned me for the past two months, inspired my mind and I sang aloud, for the first time in the last two months, a popular Kathakali padam, loudly:

:

“ajitha hare jaya madhava vishno!

ajitha hare jaayaa maadhava vishno!

ajitha hare jaya madhava vishno”

Viswanatha Iyer, heard his favorite Padam and responded, skipping the next few lines, in high pitch. That is how that padam had to be sung.

“paladinam aayi njanum balabhadranuja ninne paladhinamayi njanum balabhadranuja ninne nalamodu kaanmathinnu kaliyalleruchikunnu

nalamodu kaanmathinnu kaliyalleruchikunnu”

He wanted to convey that he too, like Sudhama, was waiting long, not to meet Lord Krishna, but for his favorite kaappi.

‘Pavam, neenkal- poor you! ‘, the mango tree  at the back of the kitchen,whispered .

 

 

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Annam Brahma:


Annam Brahma. 

I was not ‘mad’ after food, till I grew old, though I did like food always and ate well. 

During my bachelor days in ‘Panchavadi’ a 10 years- long period, I used to have lunch in our Lab. canteen and for dinner used to walk eight miles to the Taj Hotel in Secunderabad, along with roommates. In between we had an old man as a cook for a short period till he disappeared with the treasures  in our kitchen – few aluminum vessels, dented and disfigured . At times the kind women in our neighborhood Rajam Mami and Kolathu Mami used to feed us.

Excellent food,  I enjoyed for three decades when my wife was alive.  

Then again food was not a big attraction except during the fairly long periods, spent with my children in USA. 

In Habsiguda, my brother used to cook when his health was good, though at times he used to add sambar podi in rasam and rasa podi in sambar, or my sisters used to feed us or a part time cook for some time, or myself exhibiting my expertise in making Podiarisi Kanchi and praising it sky- high – you know all such tricks for survival. 

The real value of eating and enjoying food, I realized only when I saw, some relatives, young and old, unable to eat food due to some health problems, though excellent food was available to them. Seeing a relative eating a handful of rice, as prescribed by the doctor, brought from home, with no side dishes, while the entire guests  including me, were enjoying excellent food , in a wedding feast, brought tears to my eyes.

I adore my food now. Yes, I do. 

And I’m grateful to my Creator for retaining my body functions to enjoy and digest food.

Similarly I’m grateful to the same Bada Sahib, for giving me plenty of time to sleep and also for retaining my body functions to enjoy sleep. 

Some of my friends get up at three in the morning and disturb their better halves ( not with any ‘bad’ intentions as they are too old for that) but just to nag them, or despatch tons of ‘ happy day’ messages with or without photos to their FB friends.! 

After my Upanayanam, I was asked to pray God before and after eating. 

I left that habit. Have restated now. Food is God. 

Annam Brahma. 

हे न जाणावे साधारण ।

अन्‍न ब्रह्मरूप जाण ।

जे जीवनहेतु कारण ।

विश्‍वा यया ।। – श्री भावार्थदीपिका (श्री ज्ञानेश्‍वरी ३:३३)

Saint Dnyaneshvar says, ‘Food itself is Brahma’ The whole universe originates from, sustains on and merges into Brahma. Similarly, all living beings originate from, survive on and merge into food.

 

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Live your life

Live your life, please, especially if you’re young. Living is living, not going to work and earning money alone, not eating and drinking alone, not raising a family and nourishing them alone, though all those and many more are part of life.

Living, apart from all the above,  is just enjoying the biggest treasure the Supreme God has given you, that is your life and rising your eyes once a while and thanking your life -giver, ‘oh, what a wonderful life you have given me, my Lord, though there are worries, problems.

I’m alive today by your grace. Yes, I’m alive and thank you for that. And having a body with a beating heart in it and eyes which can see, mouth which can consume food and talk, waste discharging units in function – what more do I need, my Lord !’

I’m sharing this thought with you, as I’m shivering with fear, when I hear the word ‘Corona’ 

Nothing but stupidity. Is it not ? 

Fearing Death at 80 plus!! 

What is there to fear ? I have lived my full life with children and their children, siblings, their children, with money more than enough to meet my requirements, fairly good health and above all love, compassion, affection from family, extended families and other relatives and friends. 

If I love my life at this advanced age, how much you should? 

So, live your life, please! And once a while, close eyes for a few seconds and thank God, for what He has given you.

 

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The banana tree

What a wonderful plant is banana! Not tall and tough  like coconut or  hard and broad like mangoes or jackfruit trees, but soft and smooth with the look of a woman of marriageable age even after presenting  a whole bunch of raw banana, which turns its color from bright green to pleasant yellow! I can’t climb on it as I used to do with a mango or jackfruit tree during my young days, but I can hug its silky body even at my old age and be happy! 

We cook and eat raw banana, make chips.  Kerala chips are available even in NJ Malayali stores! Add a bowlful of payasam and a handful of banana chips to an ordinary meal, you’re ready to serve an Onam feast. 

Even the peel of nenthran, the long variety, is cut into small pieces , cooked and consumed.

It’s stem has medicinal value, they say. It is an art cut it into small rounds, removing the thread with your finger. During my young days, I have watched with joy, young women doing it. 

Stem fibers are used as craft material and plant fibers to make garments.

Eating in Vazhai Elai or banana leaves, has been our habit from childhood.  Even star hotels are now using plantain leaves for serving food. When plantain leaves are unavailable, they use plastic imitations! So high is its attraction among the upper class outside eaters. In many  South Indian restaurants even tiffin is served on plantain leaves. For me personally, food served on plantain leaves gives more satisfaction than that served on plates, may be made of silver. No one has offered me golden plates and I shall convey my reaction when it happens! 

And my favorite elai adai!  imagine elai adai sans the flavor of its folded wrapper- steamed plantain leaf! 

And elaprasadam! When the Namboodiri gives prasAdam in a piece of ! It takes me to the doors of Swargam instantly.  

Perinkulam Kailasa Vadhyar stayed in my Habsiguda house when he visited Hyderabad for an Athirudram in 

Shankar Mutt. I received him from the railway station but forgot to buy banana leaves from the market though my wife had specified to buy on my way back.  We were yet to plant trees in our new house then .  No nearby shops too selling the leaves. 

I told Vadhyar I would get the leaves from the market before he was ready for food, after his bath and worship. 

‘Don’t worry, I will find a way’, he said.  He left with his angavstram on his shoulder and returned with a bundle of leaves within half an hour! 

‘Enganae pattichu? How did you manage ?’, I enquired. 

‘Ennada periya kashtam? I went around your colony. Saw a few plants in one garden, went in and asked the owner, by hand – signal for one leaf. With much respect, he gave me a bundle of leaves and then offered coffee etc, which I politely refused, ‘ he replied. 

Banana is rich in Potassium. It’s powder is used in baby food, I was told. 

Plant one banana tree in your yard. It will grow into thousands! The other trees need seeds for expanding their families. Plantains do not ; cute little ones come out from the mother plant’s base! 

The last but not the least-  the joy of seeing a pair of banana trees with bunches of fuuly grown raw fruits installed on the sides of the entrance of a wedding hall, welcoming you is unique .