Category: A12– Everything under the Sun

I should never be so blunt in my talk, I realized. Late realization, though.
I was meeting her after four years. She was standing on the road side waiting for me when I was returning from the Friday vegetable market, holding bags in both hands.

‘Hi, ChintAmani, why do you look so sad?’, I enquired.

‘My mAmanAr passed away. And my name is not ChintAmani, mAma!’

‘I’m sorry that I didn’t remember your name. But not sorry for your father in law’s death. He was after all, eighty plus’

‘How could you talk so heartless? He was your friend. He was a nice man, very kind’

‘MAsilAmani, good or bad, friend or foe, one has to die. What is there to still worry over the death of an eighty plus man? Discard that dull look from your face and smile,’ I encouraged her.

‘MAma, my name is not MAsilAmani. My name is not Mani at all.
You are seeing only money everywhere not manushan- man. Your long stay in USA has made you money-minded’

Che, unnecessarily, I earned her wrath. I should talk nicely now on, I decided.

The next lady I met was, Marakathavalłi (and I’m sure about the correctness of her name) . I knew that she lost her mother in law three years before. The moment I saw her, keeping the bags on the ground, I hugged her and wiped off my eyes.

‘MAma, what happened? Why are you weeping?’, she enquired.

‘I’m weeping for your mother in law’

‘MAma, she passed away three years ago and in fact , it was good for her and also for us that she died without much suffering. She was eighty plus and how long you expect people to live? Every one has to go one day or other. You should have known this simple truth!’

I turned back to change my facial expression, when the lady whom I met before, was standing behind me smiling.

‘MAma, are you OK?’ She enquired.

‘Radhamani. I want to go back to USA. There, I don’t have to worry whether to laugh or smile if an old mother -in -law or father- in-law passes away’

‘MAma, my name is not Radhamani?’ She was quick to point out.

Who bothers what ‘mani’ you are? Money is not my problem; women are.

 

‘You are arrogant. What is there for you to be so proud of? Your eyes are duplicate, your ears are duplicate, your —–‘, chided a friend.

‘Wait, wait,’ I said, ‘my heart is original, my kidneys are original, my lungs are original, my wife is original!’

‘Ha, ha! where is your wife?’ He questioned.

I told him- ‘all my originals are inside me’

 

 

Worrying?

PanikkurAthu- serves no purpose.

Thinking of solutions, go ahead, but don’t worry.

“If no solutions found, can I worry?”

No, PanikkurAthu, serves no purpose.

“Then?”

Let the problem find its own solution.

“If it didn’t, shall I worry?”

No, PanikkurAthu, no purpose.

“Damn it! What do you want me to do then?”

Go for a walk.

“If my wife don’t allow me to go out?”

Ask her to go for a walk

“If she doesn’t want to go for a walk?”

Man, you have found the solution. Enjoy your time with her!
Dance! I am singing a song for you:

சாந்து பொட்டடி நான் உனக்கு
நல்ல சந்தன பொட்டடி நீ எனக்கு
சாந்து பொட்டுக்கும் சந்தன பொட்டுக்கும்
சண்டை உண்டோ சொல்லு ராமாயி ?
முத்து ராமாயி !

Saanthu pottadi naan unakku,
Nalla santhana pottadi née enakku
Saanthu pottukkum santhana pottukkum
Sandayundo sollu Raamaayi,
Muthu Raamaayi!

“If the problem is not solved, even after dancing”

“So, that is your problem! Your problem is that you have no problem’

 

In the picture above, Yadamma has no problem in life, as she has no time to think about problems!

Youth is the ideal time for building up a strong future. If that golden period is wasted by spending in building castles in air, imaginary castles above the ground, that loss is irreparable. I saw just now an young friend lamenting, ‘chirakodinja swapnamgal’- means dreams with broken wings. I’m his well-wisher and feel sorry for him. He should not dream such fragile winged birds. He should look for GarudAs of golden wings If such bird is not available in the market, he should create his own Garuda. If that is available with only Vishnu, he should pray and obtain from him. If the god is not obliging he should fight with the god and capture the bird. The youth is the time for that. To fight with gods if necessary and obtain one ‘s wishes. Many in our heritage have done it.

Old age is the ideal time to do things that could not be done but one would like to do. It may be learning, working or simply helping others or even relaxing doing nothing by enjoying one’s own time. If one has forgotten to live his life for himself earlier, old age is the ideal time, no, only time.

I saw just now an old man lamenting that he could nor record any songs for the past one week, as he was busy in the kitchen and with other household activities. I tell him the activities he is involved now is equally important. No one is waiting in que to buy entry ticket for hearing his songs, but there is someone looking towards the kitchen to see when food moves to the dining table.

‘Do whatever you can, but do it well’, I consoled him.

‘

 

She addresses her husband as ‘ na Devudu’ or ‘my God’ . Not once, but always. And that good – for-nothing guy, my friend doesn’t have any godly qualities in him! In fact I should be called God but none including my wife does so.

‘Avunayya, he is my god. Dammundae go and ask your wife to address you as her god’ . This was what she told me when I asked her the reason . I didn’t like the word, ‘dammunade’. She should have said, ‘if you have guts’

‘Why don’t you call me your God?’, I asked my wife .

‘It is more than enough for me and others if you remain a human’ . In one sentence she closed the topic .

I was restless to know the reason and asked my friend:
‘How did you manage to become God to your wife? Share the secret with your bosom friend’

‘Ivvala sayanthiram indikkiraa- come home this evening’

Hearing the bell sound from the pooja room, I entered into my friend’s house and was surprised to see my friend being seated on a peetam, small stool and a bowlful of laddus and some currency notes placed before him. The lady sincerely believed her husband was god and performed harati for him, after placing in his Palm with due devotion, a small spoonful of broken laddus. There was a wallet before him in which she placed a few one rupee notes and coins and took away the entire currency notes and all the laddus, with her, while my friend looked at her back helplessly.

After she left the room gracefully, my friend got up from his seat and told me: ‘choosAva? Have you seen? God’s share of laddus and monthly pension’

‘That cash is not enough for a hair cut!’, I said .

‘That comes under my quarterly quota’

After coming home, I thanked my wife for not calling me her god.

‘Be my husband always’, she replied,. ‘If you retain that position I’m more than satisfied’.

What does she mean by, ‘if you retain hat position’?

The behavior of women is mystic.

In the picture below ‘kudumayai pidi!’- hold him by his tuft – now dad’s when she grows and gets married, her ‘devudu’s!’

Smile, smile always’, people propagate. But, should we ?

I have a friend, who used to smile at women who come across, on the street, whether he knows them or not.
Many ladies smile back considering his age but one woman did not respond kindly and asked, ‘who are you? Why are you smiling at me?’

My friend replied that it had become a habit with him as saw the image of Goddess Durga in every woman.

‘No, Sir, that is not a good practice’, advised the kind lady. ‘You should change your habit, as some women could be Durga in the fearsome form and harm you. Come home tomorrow and I will help you to get rid of this habit’ . He gave the old man her house address.

My friend, like me, is a honest man and his smile has no bad motive. But all women do not appreciate.

He went to her house. She welcomed him and said, ‘ I’m in the form of Durga today and would like to have my prasadam cooked by your hands. Here is our kitchen and here are the vegetables. I like onion sambar and potato curry. Avial and Olan you can make but if you are not good in those preparations, you may skip. But pappadam is a must’

My friend, like me, enjoys cooking and he made several preparations and the woman was very happy. She thanked him profusely and asked him whether he would smile at unknown women the next day onwards. My friend replied, ‘never in my life. I have learned my lesson’

Next day, when he narrated the above incident and cursed that woman, I asked him, ‘you enjoyed cooking, why curse her?’

He replied: ‘that demon of the woman, while I took leave, handed over a dabba and said, ‘take this sambar for your wife and bring back the dabba, without fail, tomorrow”

Anyway, then on,he stopped seeing the image of goddess in all women and stopped smiling. In fact he bent his head down to about meeting them face to face.

I think twice now, before smiling at women. One kitchen duty is more than enough.

Holding me almost by my shirt collar, mother of a FB friend, made me to sit opposite to her in a cloth shop where we met and she said in desperation :

‘We have suffered your highhandedness for ages. Enough is enough. No more’

‘Me, madam? I never came anywhere near you. Aren’t you holding the collar of a wrong person?’

‘No, I’m not. Aren’t you the one who wrote that senseless message in the FB about pairs getting separated ?’

‘Yes, madam. Did that hurt you? I’m sorry for your husband if you are separated from him. You are so charming even at this age’

‘Even at this age? What do you mean? I’m half your age’

‘Then, I’m not sorry for your husband madam. I’m Sorry for you. You are too young to live alone’

‘Living alone? Why should I ? Anyway, I’m not the concerned. It is my daughter’

‘She is more charming and half your age, madam’

‘Listen. Stop this brawl. Men of your generation and earlier ones mistreated women and the womenfolk silently suffered for two reasons:

1. Economic dependency and
2. Fearing social stigma.
The present generation women are free from both. And you can’t hope to subjugate us anymore’

‘No, I don’t . But what about the torture from the other end?’

‘We torture you?’

‘Not me; other husbands’

‘Look, no woman can torture her husband as long as she wears sari and blouse’

‘Who prevents you from wearing jeans and T shirts?

‘You, husbands, Leela’s husband’

‘That was why she got separated?’

‘Don’t say, ‘she’. They got separated’

‘Oh!’

‘What ‘oh?’ your agony is not over yet?’

‘No. Free my shirt collar, please’

 

Wonder often why God didn’t attach a filter to my tongue!

A friend from another State who was aspiring to come and meet me has cut off her friendship with me, from the moment I asked, ‘why do you want to come all the way spending money?’

Yesterday when my Mohanasister said she would come with food to meet me, I asked her the same question, though she was in the same city, about 15 kms away.

‘Can’t I come to take your blessings on an auspicious day?’, she quipped.

I’m glad that she came with Patchu and made my day and served good food, affectionately. Similarly, I would have been happy, had my outstation friend too visited me. But, by my blunt question, I doused her happiness and also mine.

‘Sundarikutti!’, I commented below the photo of a close friend, today. Afterwords I was worried whether she would blast me. She was not related to me and we had not even met. But, thanks to my birth star, she simply reacted, ‘SPJi!’ ( my birth star, believe me, has come to my help many times!)

What happened actually was I really liked the photo. But, I should not have made that comment.

While going out for shopping, I may like many beautiful things , flowers or women.
I can go near the flowers and say, ‘sundaram, manoharam, enthu vasana, ( what a fragrance!’) ‘enthu chandam! ( what a beauty) etc. but if I go near a woman and express similar sentiments, though my feelings are very genuine, my life and health will be in jeopardy.

My father, being a business man, was very polished in his talks. But my mother- oh!
She had embarrassed me by her blunt views
Her introduction to my wife, was something like this: ‘he never stays at home; keep an eye on him!’

Though I never lived in any village, wonder how this village habit stuck me.