Shivam Diaries

Author: shivam

  • Rewards for kicks and bashes

    The moment I came out of her safety cell, I wept fearing
    My kicks and bashes would no more be her secret bearing.
    Wonder why did she weep the exit of a wetting nuisance?
    And rewarded me with her white, purified life essence?

  • What you gain Sir, by working?

    You struggle raising and nourishing the world whole day
    And retire smiling spreading charm all the way
    And come back the day next with same smile and beauty,
    Aren’t you bored, Sun, of this routine duty?
    An Emperor drawing water from, oceans, wells and rivers,
    Pulling seeds from dungeon, cracking and sprouting plants!
    Can’t you employ a few men, sit idle and rejoice the powers ?
    Only slaves, destitute, downtrodden work and also ants.
    Earth sleeps, still life grows, trees stand idle, still it flowers,
    Immobile hills generate streams, ocean, noisy lovers,
    Doing nothing they all gain, what do you Sir, by working?
    “The knowledge idiots are not born but fallen by not working”

  • There can be only three reasons

    There can be only three reasons if your friend shouts at you, for no fault of yours:
    1. His wife, busy watching an interesting TV serial, asked him to change their baby’s diaper. A simple task, any hubby would love to do. But your friend made a mess of it, rushed to wash hands, both hands, the water tap refused to oblige, the baby refused to stop yelling, the madam refused to switch off the TV. and his mind refused to work. So, he left everything as such, wife, TV, baby, diaper and came out to yell at you.
    2. His boss boasted about the coffee he made and brought in his flask to the office, your friend, when the boss went to the rest room, clandestinely tried to taste his coffee, opened the cap of the flask hurriedly, it slipped from his hand, the hot liquid flashed not on his clothes but on the suit of the boss,who entered hearing the theft from a spy.
    The boss didn’t shout, ‘get out’ but whispered to the faithful assistant’s ear, ‘get me a new suit or you lose the job’.
    And a much simpler cause,
    Your friend has a minor problem, what we call,’Krimi kadi’, krimi is worm, kadi is bite, itch.
    When the worms enter the intestine, there will be itching at the lower end of the alimentary canal, through which the solid refuse of digestion is excreted. It is a bit difficult for you to understand my anatomical explanation and the best way is to experience the disturbance.
    But if it happens, don’t shout at me, shout at your servant maid, she will complain to your wife that you assaulted her physically and your affectionate wife, realizing your problem will make a Chukku kazhayam and feed you. Chukku is dried ginger, kazhayam is the essence, extracted after a few boiling and cooling treatment. That will help you to vacate the worms from your system.
    You may ask what happens to the maid’s complaint. When your system is free of worms, your body will relax, mind will relax. When body and mind relax, you will relax certain rules binding you tight and you will start enjoying life better. Your maid is happy, you are happy. I’m happy.
    What happens to my wife, you ask. She is having the itching now, at the —— I forgot my anatomy. Doesn’t matter,
    🎥

  • The Sun's gain

    You struggle, raising and nourishing the world, whole day
    And retire smiling spreading charm all the way
    And come back the day next with same smile and beauty,
    Aren’t you bored, Sun, of this routine duty?
    Pulling seeds from dungeon , cracking the hard shell
    Pulling water from the seas where they happily dwell
    Pushing them then into sea, why all these trouble?
    You could have adorned the throne royally idle.
    Earth sleeps, still life grows, trees stand idle, still flowers
    Immobile hills generate streams, ocean, noisy waves.
    Doing nothing they all gain, what you gain by working?”
    “The knowledge why I should work harder to make you wiser”

  • Mouse to mountain

    Where will the fish, shells, pebbles and sand go
    If the sea sustains only water ?
    Where will my thoughts, dreams,worries and memories go
    If the mind sustains only laughter ?
    Where will the clouds, moon, stars and planets go
    If the sky wants only the Sun?
    Where will the mouth, sharp nose and ears go,
    If the head want only eyes and none?
    Where will my jealousy, anger, ego and greed go
    If you want only my love and devotion?
    No Father, accept everything, still or in motion
    Mouse to mountain, all your creation.

  • Raman Mama

    Raman Mama was a very simple soul, almost like a child, though he was above forty, with a big frame, loud voice and a lavish mustache almost covering his thick lips. He was my neighbor in ‘Panchavadi’ our bachelor ‘palace’ in a village, during my early carrier days in Hyderabad.
    He preferred to mould his own idol from fresh clay, instead of buying from outside, for the week – long Vinayakachathuthy festival. Despite his best efforts, the molding failed and he started weeping, like a child, when his sister in law , an young girl living next door made fun of him. Unbelievably such an innocent soul, he was.
    “I won’t live for the next Vinayaka chaturthy” he moaned and vowed,
    “I won’t, I won’t”  
    He is fortunately still alive after some fifty years! On the Vinayaka chaturthy pooja, that huge man, weeping inconsolably, comes to my mind and not the big God of my worship, seated silently on the stand before me.
    He wept as he failed in his attempt to create an idol of God.
    Many weep that God has created them !

  • Ammalu is always right

    “Rama wed just one woman but failed to protect her,
    Krishna managed to sweep two plus sixteen K and odd and aspired to add more.
    Had Rama wed you, Ammalu, Ravana wouldn’t have dared to come near you,
    If you were in the collection of Krishna, he would’ve never asked for one more”
    “Without ochre robe, you dwarf the Rakshas Raj
    Without yellow robe, you dwarf the Dwarak Raj
    Neither gods, nor demons equal you in tricks
    How me, going nowhere, play with you monkey tricks!”
    —————————————————-
    “What is the big intimate relationship between husband and wife? I don’t see anything”
    “You see me standing before you despite your provocative statement? That answers your question”
    ————————————————————
    “I like you from top to toe, Ammalu. I can talk only about what I see”
    “I can talk about what I don’t see too and it is much better than what I see”
    ———————————————————
    “I’m prepared to walk an extra mile to please you, Ammalu”
    “No need. I’m pleased with where you are”
    “I expected you to say that you would walk two extra mails to please me”
    “Sir, if I do that in action yow will be one mile behind me. No, I don’t want that”
    ——————————————————

  • Ammalu is always right

    “Ammalu, at least in the presence of guests, will you please give me respect and behave as an obedient wife”
    “Certainly. Tell me what I should do”
    “Comb my hairs, hug and say smilingly, sportively, smartly, ‘ I love you’ and open the car door for me to get in and wait till I get in, with folded hands etc”
    “But, you have no hairs on your head for me to comb nor a car for me to open the door!”
    “Just act, Ammalu, act. Pretend. Do you think every wife who says, ‘I love you’, really loves her husband ? Just act”
    “Ok. Wait a minute please. Our baby is crying. Let me go and feed her”
    “Our baby? You feeding ? At this age? Have you gone mad old woman?”
    “Don’t get alarmed. I was only acting. Just acting”
    ————————————————————-
    I want to give you my everything , Ammalu”
    “Haven’t you done it already? Now I’m too old, man!”
    ——————————————————————-
    “I should not have married. What do you think, Ammalu?
    “I think it was good that I married. Otherwise, how pitiable would have been your position!”
    “What is there? I would have lived happily”
    “Life, for you, without me ? If my return from the temple is delayed by 2 minutes, you peep twenty times through the front gate. If there is a delay of 3 minutes for me to come out after my bath, you knock ten times on the door”
    “See the number has gone down from 20 to 10. That shows my interest in you is also coming down ”
    “No, it only shows that you are aware that the bathroom has no door at the back”
    ——————————————————————————-
    ” Ammalu, while organizing Vishukkani, keep 3 pieces of one Rupee coins in a silver cup. One Rupee for you and the rest for Ammini and Nair if they come to take my blessings tomorrow morning”
    “Even for your close friend Ammini, you will give only one Rupee as kaineetam!”
    “When it comes to the question of parting with money, I don’t differentiate between a wife, however old she is and a friend, however close she might be”
    “No wonder she told me yesterday,” instead of coming to collect SP Sir’s one Rupee kaineettam, I can go to KKAS”
    “KKAS, what is that?”
    “That is a new commercial service to outcome the mosquito menace, Kerala Kosu adi samgham.You simply go with empty hands,stretching your palms straight and clap with a ‘thud’ sound. At least a dozen Mosquitos get trapped, die and drop. You are paid a Rupee per mosquito, caught and killed, on the spot. No investment, no efforts, at least a thousand Rupees income in an hour”

  • வெக்கமா இருக்கு

    ஒருமணி நேரமா கத்தீண்டு இருக்கேன், ஒரு பயல் ஏன் ன்னு பதில் சொல்லரதில்லை”
    “கொழந்தைகள் எல்லாரும் வோட்டு போட போயிருக்கா”
    “கொழந்தைகளுக்கு என்னடீ வோட்டு ?”
    “நீங்கள் கூப்பிட்டா அப்பிடி சொல்ல சொன்னா”
    “ஐயோ, ஓன்னை கெட்டிக்குண்டு அழறேனே!’
    “பொய் சொல்லறேல், கெடிக்கொம் இல்லை, அழோம் இல்லை”
    “எட்டும், பத்தும் வயசிலே வோட்டுக்கு போற பத்து மகான்களை, கெட்டிக்காமே எப்பிடி பெத்தே?”
    “அப்பிடி எல்லாம் சொல்லாதுங்கோ நா! வெக்கமா இருக்கு”
    “வேண்டாம் தாயீ, போல்ளிங் பூத்லே எடம் இருக்காது “

  • Simple truth, madam

    Madam, can you come out of the kitchen, for a moment, please ? Thank you.
    Now, there is a small problem, for you, not for me.
    Your body is different from that of your beloved husband and you chummy children. You don’t need a scholar like me to reveal this truth. Not withstanding your passionate love, care and compassion for them, their unstained affection, and anxiety to help you, the simple fact is, that your own circulatory system has to nourish your body parts and not theirs.
    Your husband and grown up children are busy in their own ways and it is you, you and you alone can take care of your health. They might not be even available to call for an ambulance to take you to the hospital, though once you have reached there, they will shower money and attention.
    So, madam, I strongly suggest, go for a medical check up, without waiting for your beloved hubby or benevolent children.
    The machinery is yours. Give it at least as much importance of your coffee grinder or hair dryer. To use a hair dryer, you need hairs and for that you need a head. Simple truth, madam . You have to take care of your head, and only you can do it as it is your head. And head needs a body to stay and your head will stay only on your body. So the body is also important.
    I have to come all the way and tell you this because, I know the fate of many housewives who took care of everyone in the family except themselves. None of them alive now to vouch for my statement. Sad indeed.
    Shall I call a taxi for you to go for a medical check up? Who knows some blood sucking Yakshee is not hiding in your sari folds?