Author: shivam

  • The source and solace of my soul

    Every wind that Knocks your door
    Is not a gale to smash your floor
    Every knock on your head
    Is not a tool to drill a hole,
    But, the moment a dry leaf drops
    You shiver!

    Dry leaves will certainly drop
    Even green leaves.
    All leaves and all trees
    Have to fall and you know that.

    Every night leads to dawn ,
    Every summer to winter
    Even death is a door to birth
    So say the men of worth.

    Like river racing to sea
    And returning as rains,
    And running again to join sea
    You’re in a circle
    Not in a straight line.

    Enough of this circling
    Want to be a straight line
    With no curve or bend
    Clearly aiming the end.
    That end where all the ends end,
    That end is my goal,
    Want to be with the Whole
    The source and solace of my soul.

  • Ammalu is always right

    ‘Ammalu, if I’m not mistaken, you were not a smart or intelligent girl before my marrying you. I don’t want to use the word, ‘modhu”

    ‘True. Those qualities were my mother’s parting gifts to handle you’

    ‘To ‘handle’ me? You could have used the word ‘tackle’, instead’

    ‘It was not your problems that I had to tackle. You, yourself was my problem and therefore, I had to handle YOU, the whole of you.
    You are not a ‘modhu’ not to know the difference’


    ‘Ammalu, generally speaking, don’t you think that a husband who doesn’t control his wife’s extravagancy in money and words is a waste?’

    ‘I agree with you partly as I don’t like to use the word, ‘waste’. But, a wife who doesn’t have the same control on her husband, is certainly a waste. Generally speaking, I’m sure that you will be proud that your wife is not a waste’

    ‘I don’t want to waste my words in agreeing with your claim’

    ‘Very good. Be silent. I permit you’

    ————_____________

    ‘It is true that I have a number of friends, all from high socio circle, as I’m from that group. Why are you jealous, Ammalu?’

    ‘I’m not jealous of your high social status or your friends. My worry is about that circle. The speed with which it grows worries me. As it has no base or business , cause or conviction, it may burst anytime. It shouldn’t blow of your nose or ears, teeth or tuft’

    ‘I don’t have tuft!’

    ‘It will certainly appear, if your head get packed with such foolish claims, frank Volos, frustrating, which has no purpose or foundation’

    ‘Ammalu, if you don’t mind, tell me how you managed to organize so many words and what do they mean’

    ‘Answer simple. My high socio circle!’

     

     

     

  • Ammalu is always right

    ‘It is true that I have a number of friends, all from high socio circle, as I’m from that group. Why are you jealous, Ammalu?’

    ‘I’m not jealous of your high social status or your friends. My worry is about that circle. The speed with which it grows worries me. As it has no base or business , cause or conviction, it may burst anytime. It shouldn’t blow of your nose or ears, teeth or tuft’

    ‘I don’t have tuft!’

    ‘It will certainly appear, if your head get packed with such foolish claims, frank Volos, frustrating, which has no purpose or foundation’

    ‘Ammalu, if you don’t mind, tell me how you managed to organize so many words and what do they mean’

    ‘Answer simple. My high socio circle!’


    ‘Ammalu, generally speaking, don’t you think that a husband who doesn’t control his wife’s extravagancy in money and words is a waste?’

    ‘I agree with you partly as I don’t like to use the word, ‘waste’. But, a wife who doesn’t have the same control on her husband, is certainly a waste. Generally speaking, I’m sure that you will be proud that your wife is not a waste’

    ‘I don’t want to waste my words in agreeing with your claim’

    ‘Very good. Be silent. I permit you’

  • Ammalu is always right

    ‘Ammalu, learn the basics of English, before our USA trip.

    A’ for ๐ŸŽ ‘

    That was when you were a child.
    Now,
    ‘A for Ammalu, not for Apple,
    Not certainly for Ammini
    There is only one ‘A’,
    And that is for Ammalu
    Who gave you ‘B’ for babies.
    ‘C’ you remember this.
    ‘D’ for don’t , ‘F’ for forget.
    (In between is ‘E’ for eat)
    You won’t forget )
    Then come ‘G’ and ‘H’
    For good husband
    Which you’re.
    ‘I’ say this, who else?

    There is only one ‘S’ and one ‘P’
    And that is for SP
    And SP is mine.
    Be a good boy
    ‘Y’ as in the boy’
    Hope my ‘M’ a ‘N’
    Your doubt is
    ‘Z’ for zero now.’


    ‘Ammalu, you’re not just my wife, you’re my life. I can’t live without you. You don’t know how much I love you’

    ‘SP, stop this stupidity. I’m not your life; I’m your wife. And that is the truth. You will live without me, though with no food and I don’t want that to happen. I know that you love me. But no drama before me’


     

     

  • Ammalu is always right

    ‘At times I feel Ammalu, that we are a mismatch as husband and wife’

    ‘I feel so all the time’

    ‘Then, how are you keeping quiet?’

    ‘What should I do?’

    ‘You should try to match’

    ‘But, why? I’m happy with the present’

    ‘But, how?’

    ‘Because of this mismatch, I’m one step above you.
    If we were in perfect match, I won’t be able to control you, as I’m doing now’

    ‘Ammalu, we ‘re in perfect match. I didn’t say this. Our astrologer Annadurai Iyer said’


    ‘Can’t you look a bit more fashionable, Ammalu?’

    ‘I would love to, not a bit, but full length’

    ‘Full length ?’

    ‘Full length means your expenses on my clothing will be minimum’

    ‘Are you crazy, old woman?’

    ‘I’m not. I’m only trying to fulfill the desires of my husband’

    ‘My desire is you should have one more nine yards to wrap you around and look decent’

    ‘Ok, as you wish. Shall we go to Chettiar shop for buying extra saris?’

    ‘Ammalu, you will never allow me to live in peace. If I turn right, you attack. If I turn left, you attack!’

    ‘Sorry, SP. What about that ‘bit’, you wanted?’

    ‘You make me crazy, old woman. I expected too much from you’

    ‘No, you expected too little. That was where the bit came’

  • Tears

     

    Tears are not mere water molecules
    To be wiped off by a kerchief
    Or by your palm or finger.
    They are the visible symbols
    Of mostly pains and at times overjoy,
    Mostly, they are the silent sighs of sadness,
    Formed into clouds by inner pressure
    And got converted to tears.

    Tears are expressions
    Of the suppressed feelings,
    Solidified insults and injuries
    Humiliation, neglect,
    Rigorous tortures
    Of suffocating souls,
    Evaporated and gained a form
    From the formless.

    Allow the compressed pressures
    Which gained form from the formless
    To flow out.

    If possible,
    Say a soft word,
    Just one word, but not hurting.

    If possible,
    Share a kind look,
    For a second, not beyond,
    But kind, smiling
    Yes, looks can smile, words can smile.

    If possible, give a hug
    For a second, not beyond
    But sincerely, wholeheartedly,
    Sympathetically, affectionately.

    The injured soul will get invigorated
    And fly high to the sky
    Like a baby bird just taught
    The art of flying.
    Like a born blind
    Just gained vision
    And seeing his mother’s face,
    His wife’s face, his children’s face
    The world’s face.
    And
    His own face!

  • Hail the king

     

    The royal procession was moving in glory
    The crowd was waving and cheering.
    There was one man, his head in wrap
    Who didn’t look at the chariot or clap.

    Arrested and sent to jail
    He didn’t remove his veil
    He was brought to king’s court
    The throne remained vacant

    ‘Go to North, go to South,
    Go to East, go to West
    Bring the king’, ordered the prince
    All went; returned, ‘No trace’.

    ‘Wal, wal’, entered a puppy pet
    Dragged the veiled to the king’s seat
    ‘Bow, bow’, it barked and said
    ‘King was not in the chariot’

    I won’t follow the crowd
    Make noises loud.
    I know clearly that part.
    The King is not in the chariot.
    He is among us,
    Along with us.

    Yes, he is among us, along with us
    He can be inside the chariot too.
    Wherever He is, He is our King
    Hail the king!

  • Ammalu is always right

    ‘Ammalu, with my world – wide popularity, razor sharp intelligence, admiring acumen to assess the abilities of men and women, all round expertise in all fields, I never appointed an ineligible candidate to my office.
    Wonder how I selected you, as my wife!’

    ‘Answer, simple. You acquired those qualities only after my joining you!’


    ‘Ammalu, your mother, though stingy to the depth of bone marrow, delivered many kids, you one among them. You and your siblings call her ‘amma’. But, why should I? She is not my mother. You know that . The world knows that. I give her due respect as an old lady, waiting for the second bell to ring, to quit.
    How is that you are keeping quiet?’

    ‘Who said I’m keeping quiet? I’m recording your voice to be sent to my mom, waiting for the second bell to ring’

    ‘Ammalu, please continue recording. Amma, my beloved amma,
    Whatever I blabbered so far was under the influence of anesthesia given in the morning for my cataract surgery. You look so beautiful and you are my real mother. Amma, you are my amma. Anxious to meet you amma.’


     

    ‘Ammalu, I’m telling you again and again. Your assessment of Ammini is absolutely wrong . Ammini is a good girl’

    ‘Girl? She is a muthi, muthassi, pAtti’

    ‘One alternate would have been sufficient’

    ‘There is no alternative but to kick her out when she come to dance before you’

    ‘Is this the way you treat a muthi, muthassi, pAtti?’

    ‘That is all what I wanted. I wanted to hear those words from your mouth. Don’t say again she is a girl. What is Ammini?’

    ‘She is an old lady, like you’

    ‘That is fine. It is a fact. We’re all old; you’re young. Only I will say that, not other women, young or old’

  • Ammalu is always right

    If you had 10% of my intelligent quotient, I witkd have taken you at least to one or two international conferences of intelligentsia, I attend on special invitation, Ammalu’

    ”I remember two international conferences you attended- one under the Chunnambuthara aalthara and the other on the Vadakkanthara kAvu aalthara. Apart from these two peepul tree bases within two kilometers from our house, if you have attended any more conferences, pease let me know. I will tell mother and she will be proud of you’

    ‘Ammalu, why take these small matters to that old lady?’

    ‘Small matters? Intelligent quotient of international participants is a small matter?’


     

    ‘Lifebouy soap and Cuticura powder; Ovaltin and Horllicks. That was my luxurious childhood. And now I’m the master this family. There is no need for me to wait ย for your food.
    I’m making it very clear – from tomorrow, you will wait near my table, take orders, serve food, wait standing till I finish. Is it clear Ammalu?’

    ‘Yes, how much tips will you give me for each service?’

    ‘Tips, in my own house? To my own wife?’

    ‘Very good. In your own house, you should serve food for you and me. If food is not available, you should go to market, buy things, come and cook and serve. Please don’t forget to buy Lifebuoy soap, Cuticura powder,–‘

     

  • A super- duper surgery

    ( subsequent to my cateract surgery)

    Only one eye is bandaged
    The other eye undamaged
    But, struggled to walk a few yards
    Surgery to the next ward.

    I hold the nurse’s hand not tight
    She is far beyond twice eight
    Kind she is, holds my hand tight
    I shouldn’t crush under her weight!

    Called my mom and she comes
    To the corridor of memory
    I hold her hand tight, then on
    Feel fit to run a marathon

    ‘How did you manage such a big family?’
    I ask her, she looks at me calmly.
    ‘With one eye vandalized by small pox
    The other eye choked by firewood smoke.

    ‘Kids, cattle, guests, servants
    Dad busy at his work
    No machines to pound or grind
    No provision for weekly off

    Constipation for one child,
    Loose motion for the other
    Both dance at the toilet gates
    Guests inside sing cine notes

    One child, inserts a slate pencil
    Into his nostril and whistles
    Another inserts a lead pencil
    Into his ear hole and wails
    The third one vanishes with a guest’s bike
    The fourth, vandalizes grand ma’s Prayer book.
    A little doll rolls into muddy pool
    Washed vessels and she is cool!
    Coriander seeds with mustard
    Mixes another ustad .

    I never asked you this question, ma,
    How you managed with a single eye?
    With two bright eyes, for six decades
    I overlooked your eye decay.
    Who had impaired vision
    Me or you?’

    The kind nurse walks in
    To see with whom I was talking
    Sees no one, brings another nurse
    Both bolt to congratulate the doctor
    ‘Surgery super- duper successful
    The patient can see
    Whom we can’t ‘

    ‘Rubbish’, retorted the doctor first,
    Thought for a moment and said,
    ‘Publish in the papers,
    Patient, no discharge
    Keep him in a special ward
    And post a security guard’