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Social drinking

On behalf of an young friend, I went to see a girl, seeking her hands for him.
An absolutely outspoken girl, she was.

‘I’m not spiritual; I won’t change. I go for social drinking. I won’t change. I wear only jeans and T shirt. I won’t change’

‘Won’t you stink, if you don’t change your clothes?’

‘My perfume bill is Rs. 3000 per month. Your boy, what is that puranic name ,Rama or Krishna?’

‘Most modern name, Muthuswamy’

‘That Swamy uses perfumes?

‘He likes Pazhani andavar vibhoothi, as I know’

‘So he is spiritual! I’m not and I won’t change’

‘You change him. There lies your sAmartyam’

‘What thyam is that ?’

‘Samarthyam. It means ‘ efficiency, cleverness’ . Every woman acquires that skill the moment she become a wife ‘

‘Ok, I get out from my sleep at midnight and go for a stroll in the park. I won’t change’

‘How safe it is?’

‘I learn karate. Muthu is yellow belt or black belt?’

‘I haven’t seen him wearing any belt ‘

The breeze brought in perfume smell, followed by her mother.

‘Ammukutty, why waste time talking to that old man?
He won’t miss a chance of chit-chatting with a woman young or old’

‘Ammukutty is a lovely name. My wife is Ammalu. Fashion name for a fashion girl! :Madam, you need applauds for selecting that name’. I commented, passing on a genuine smile at the perfumed mother.

Her face bloomed. ‘You may come again in the evening, after she returns from the club, uncle’

I picked up my walk stick. While moving towards the gate, the perfume mother of Ammukutty reminded, ‘uncle today Rahu Kalam is between 4.30 to 6.00 pm’.

‘You follow Rahu and Gulikan? I don’t’

‘You are a nine century nomad from Nigeria. The fashion of the day is to follow astrology, Ayurveda, apply vibhoothi, kumkumam on the forehead and draw kolam on the cement floor in front of the house. Come in the evening with Ammalu Mami to see my Golu, but come before or after Rahukalam’

‘Hip,hip, hurray!’, I entered Muthuswamy’s House, shouting and lifting up my walk stick. ‘Ammukutty is my new mattupon, Muthu. Celebrate with a drink. Your queen is going to be a good companion for me, in social drinking’

‘What drinking is that, Uncle?’, asked the innocent bachelor.

‘Social drinking!’

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