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Ammalu is always right

 

“What is your opinion, generally, about me, Ammalu?”

“Very good”

“Will you tell this to your mom?”

“No”

“Why?”

“Her opinion, already about you, is very very good”

“That additional ‘very’ doesn’t appear be good for me, Ammalu”

“That exactly was the reason why I didn’t tell her my opinion about you”

“Very, very thoughtful act on your part, Ammalu”

“This additional ‘very’ is OK?”

“Nothing is okey when it comes to you and your mom. But I’m very coolerant . So, I’m tolerating”

“What is that ‘coolerant’ SP Sir?”

“That is a new word, I added to the Oxford Dictionary. That means very, very tolerant”

“So, you have now started fooling Oxford Dictionary too’

———————-

Ammalu, I’m your husband, not servant. Don’t issue orders to me’

‘What order, when?’

‘Come for food’, you said, now. You should have said, ‘please come for food’.

‘Ok. Please come for food and please open it only for eating’

————————————

Ammalu, your mother’s sari length is 9 yds or 10 yds ? ‘

‘What is your problem SP?’

‘I want to gift her a sari ‘

‘You, gifting her a sari? Have you ever done it before? Ok. I will buy the correct size as per her liking. Give me money’

‘How much would it cost , Fifty or a hundred rupees?’

‘For 50/100, you get only a kerchief for your Ammini or Kummini, Paru or Cheeru. You buy on your own and give your friends. And please leave my mom alone and don’t worry about her wear’

————————-

Ammalu, I don’t expect you to receive me with harti, when I return home after my evening walk. But, you should at least have the duty consciousness to lead me to my easy chair’

‘You forgot the way from the gate to our hall? ‘

‘I would have’

‘No, you would not have. Just before going for the walk, like reciting Lalithasasranamam , you were telling the names of your classmates right from your first class to college final’

—————————

There is a pride in saying my wife is Ammalu, to my new friends. They stand still, mouth- opened, wondering how I’m managing you’

‘I do not have that problem, SP. When my new friends know that you are my husband, they don’t stand still. They fall at my feet saying that I’m a Devine power to tolerate such a difficult person’

——————–

Ammalu, you are my Gulab jamun’

‘Kolkatta or Kalpathy?’

‘You Kalpthies too make Jamuns?’

‘Why not? What are our Kozhakaatais, modakams?
Aren’t those white Jamuns?’

‘Country girl, Ammalu. Those are juice less, like you!’

‘Who said? Haven’t you heard Jamuns floating in coconut milk extract?

‘Ok, make Kalpathy Jamuns and serve me now’

‘Sure. But I’m juiceless you said. I will make kozhakkattais. You make juice. Coconut rope is there to climb the tree, koduval is there to remove the outer coverage and inner shell and to break the nuts. Remove the pulp and crush it in the granite grinder.
I’m sure, you know how to rotate the granite pestle–‘

‘Stop, you long -tongued woman. I know how to rotate your useless head. Just for calling you poetically, ‘my Gulab jamun’, all these ordeals?’

‘I don’t like your poetry. Call me by my own name. What will you call me?’

‘Ammalu’

‘Will you call me juiceless?’

‘Never. You are the most juicy woman in our village. Noisy too’

‘That is OK. Your favorite Kozhakaatais are ready. Enjoy’

wrapper and shell and break the nuts, granite wet grinder is there to jam the pulp. You can sit on the platform and extract the juice’

‘All these ordeals just for calling you my Gulabjamoon?’

‘Yes. And you know I don’t like your poetry’

——————-

 

 

 

 

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