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Ammalu is amazing

“Madam, mother in law, I’m half your age and therefore have no right to advice you”
“True. You can suggest, request, appeal”
“Thank you. I’m told that your prepared a will for your assets, yesterday. May I know where I stand?”
“All my immovable properties, house, agriculture lands etc will be in my daughter’s name. Movable properties in your name”
“Cash in the bank is movable property, right?”
“No way. Cow in the shed, is”
“Cow! What do I do with her?”
“Milk, graze, sell the milk and products to the Rama Vilas Hotel”
“My mother, but not real mother ! What an injustice for your most loved only son?”
“But not real son!”
“Cash is a movable property. From hand to hand it moves. Why didn’t you include that in my list?”
“You are taking of the old days, SP. Now, like your age, cash stands still and doesn’t move an inch, after a certain stage”
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“Mother – in – law. I’m very angry. I have a question for you and say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
The family -life of your daughter depends on your answer.
The one and only question:
Is it true, you changed the birth star of your daughter, with the help of your astrologer, with the sole purpose of marrying her to me?”
“Yes, I did . But, that was nothing compared to what your astrologer did for us?”
“What did he do? Did he change my birth planet?”
“No. He changed the person! He promised to bring the prince of Palakkad, with golden turban with rows of glistening pearls hanging from it, seated on the back of a white steed, holding a long sword in a diamond studded case. Instead, on the wedding eve, it was you who stood before us with a Chaplain cap and borrowed mustache”
“You could have reject me?”
“I didn’t as Ammalu liked your borrowed mustache and her dad liked your Chaplin cap”
“But you were the deciding authority, neither your submissive hubby nor your oppressive daughter”
“I too liked you. When I asked for your qualification, you sang, nodding your head happily and clapping hands, “abcdefg, hijklmnop—”
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” just knock the door and enter. You are welcome to my room, anytime Ammalu”
“You are welcome to enter my room, as per the time table for visitors, displayed on my door, SP”
“Ammalu, I’m an outsider for you?”
“Naturally. If I have to enter your room only after alerting you or seeking your permission, I’m an outsider for you. So, you too are an outsider for me. We are not in America SP garu.”
“That ‘garu’ is to reconfirm that we are not in America, Ammalu?”
“Any amount of reconfirmation won’t be a waste with men who tried to be smarter than their wives”
“I’m not smarter than you, my fifth- failed female partner?”
“That needs no reconfirmation, na Pathidevudua”
———————————-
“SP Sir. Why don’t you behave like any other husband?
‘ I want water’ – just three words. I would get the message and you get the water.
Instead, You used four sentences, with similes, metaphors, adjectives, adverbs and all other tricks. ! All high- sounding, low value or no value stuff.
You recite a sloka from Kalidasa, a theory from Archimedes, a slogan from a political party – trouble for you and torture for me?”
“Ammalu, women have many weapons, powerful. We, husbands have only words as our weapon, armor, tool and telescope”
“Telescope?”
“Yes, telescope. We use long sentences to watch your facial expressions and body movements to ascertain how our words are received and once we are convinced you are totally confused, we introduce the subject, conquer your mind”
“That is an irritating, injuring, irresponsible statement of an insensitive male , who knows no difference between a communist and a cartoonist and a Kathakali artist.
Do you know the difference between a telescope, periscope, horoscope and a laparoscope ? Do you know the connection between your ear and throat and nose? Why did you cough when the audiologist removed wax from your ear? Have you thought about it? That is advaitham. No two. Only one”.
“Water!”
“Good. So my telescope worked. What I wanted you to say in three words, you said in one word and I got the message. Will you be precise, now on, SP Sir?”
“I will. One more weapon in your armory !”
———————————-
SP, you are a gentle man”
“I’m aware if it; anyway thank you. I feel excited when a good friend like you mentions that in the presence of my mother”
“Your mother, where is she ?”
“By your side in blue jeans and White T shirt”
“Crazy fellow, you have gone blind? She is my sweet wife”
“For me, all women, except my own wife, are my mothers”
“So, you are not an ordinary gentleman. You are a perfect gentleman!”
“I’m, thank you”
 

1 thought on “Ammalu is amazing

  1. Thank you, Sri. I’m really excited when my own learned son, comments on my works.

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