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Ammalu is amazing

Hei, SP. How are you? Alone? Where is Nirmala madam?”
“I’m good. Thank you. Who is Nirmala madam?”
“Your wife”
“What? My wife is Ammalu and she is a mami and not a madam”
“But, the other day you introduced Nirmala as your wife, when we met in a cafeteria”
“I told you Nirmala was my wife on the stage. You didn’t hear me properly”
“I never knew that you are an actor . Does Ammalu madam knows that you acts?”
“She does”
“And she doesn’t grumble?”
“No.That is why she remains as a mami. Ammalu doesn’t act. Nirmala acts well ”
“I know she does”
“You have seen her acting?”
“She acts with me ”
“So, you too are an actor?”
“No, I’m her husband”
Our family astrologer, soon after my birth had predicted that my brain would grow and grow like the great monkey God Hanuman’s body while crossing the ocean.
It did grow as he predicted but the moment I married your daughter, it’s growth stopped completely”
“Not the moment you married my daughter, but from your first DeepAvali after marriage”
“How, Madam mother in law?”
“You remember my giving you the traditional Deepavali bath and applying oil on your head?”
“Yes, I do. That was the privilege of wife. Why didn’t you allow Ammalu to do that?’
“She was too small then and her tender hands had no strength to apply enough force on your head”
“Why force? It was something be done tenderly”
“For others, not for you. Even at that young age of early teens, your head was swollen with arrogance. I was looking for an opportunity to level that swollen head. And I got it. And I used it effectively”
“So with your Ayurvedic treatment, my arrogance evaporated?”
“Unfortunately, no. It was the oil that evaporated in the heat of your arrogance. Arrogance remained”
“MML. You are wrong and I’m sorry to say that. Your daughter removed my arrogance, lock, stock, and barrel on the first night, we met in privacy?”
“She did? How?”
“She said,”either you behave or lie on the floor below my cot, till I get into sleep
“With a reasonable accuracy, I can tell you Madam ML, that your daughter’s brain needs cleaning”
“She says the same about your brain development with ‘absolute accuracy’. Don’t you think I should go by an absolute accurate research finding, rather than your reasonably accurate finding?”
“In which elementary school did you graduate, my respected MML?. The Same Appaiyer Academy which sharpened the intelligence of your daughter?’
“You expect me to give you an absolute accurate information?”
“Certainly not in the same school, you studied”
“There were many road – side schools in our village in the last century”
“Yes, I’m from one of them. And yours was the one which stood not on the road side but in the center of the Kalpathy River or Perinkulam pond?”
“Being an elderly person, your talk deserves better diplomacy, MML”
“Sorry for my undiplomatic arrogance. I will behave properly now.
SP, go back home and remove the weeds from your lawn. Remove the weeds from your brain too. See you tomorrow, when I come to insect your garden and your brain”
“MAdam ML, your daughter was away for the whole day. You know how much I enjoyed?’
“Yes, she told me she too enjoyed”
“My absence?”
“No your frantic phone calls asking why she was spending so much time in the function”
“SP, Ammalu is not here. You can go and search the whole house, cowshed and backyard”
“Madam ML. No need to search. I know she is here”
“By smell! We don’t need eyes or ears to search for each other”
“Like cat and rat?”
“Like flower and honey bee”
“Glad some poetry is still left in you”
“Not poetry, romance, old woman, romance! You will never understand how the young mind works!”
“Now I understood. Thank you. Your wife, proudly smiles over there behind curtain”
March19, 2015

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