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Ammalu is amazing

“Keep a watch on your husband’s movements, Ammalu”
“Mom, he is not a kid; nor a teenager, not even a middle aged one. He is an old man. What type of watch do you want me to have on him?”
“Just to ensure that he doesn’t slip and fall!”
“Oh, I’m relieved. I thought you were about to throw a bomb at me!”
“You need a bouquet, not a bomb for the clever coverage of your husband as a least troublesome old man!”
“Mom, you don’t believe, he is old?”
“You don’t believe! ”
“When I take you for a party, I feel bad that you can’t talk in English, Ammalu”
“I haven’t met a single English man so far, in any of the parties. Whhy should you feel bad? You have forgotten your mother tongue and so, you talk in English. I haven’t. Incidentally, SP, your English is sub-standard. Even my mom says so”
“Oh, your is Oxford English? You both are Appa Iyer School dropouts and I know the standard of that school”
“Appa Iyer School didn’t teach us a word of English”
“Then, how did you learn English? . Which good- for- nothing fellow taught you that language?”
“It was not a fellow. We both learned English reading your stories. If your stories are good- for- nothing, is it our mistake?”
“Everything fine, SP? You have not unreeled any complaint so far, against my daughter!”
“DIL, your daughter is a gem. I’m telling you from my heart. Had you given birth to another eight gems, I would have married all of them”
“Praises to God for His premonition and prevention of a disaster. I’m telling you from my heart, SP”
At times your behavior is abnormal, Ammalu.
In Ammini’s birthday party, only close friends were present and they all knew our relationship. Why did you like a fool, introduce me as your husband, while addressing them?”
“The way some of the women there behaved with you in the party, gave me a suspicion whether they are aware of our relationship or not. Repetition and reconfirmation, at times help us, you see”
“Don’t say, ‘helps us’ . It helps you, perhaps”
” I know you are my husband”
“Madam, severe memory loss. Can you help me please?”
” Sure, did you forget your name?”
“Not mine, my wife’s”
“Oooooz! If my wife hears that name there will be instant floods”
“Parukkutty, Parameswary, Panki”
” cho, cho, if my wife hears those names there will be tsunami”
“I failed in kindling your memory. Name a person whom, you love most, fear most, obey most”
“That is your wife’s name! And I’m that woman!”
“Thank you Ammalu. Mine was not a memory loss alone. I lost, temporarily my sight too. Oh, too many loses!”
“You have lost nothing , as long as you haven’t lost me”
When guests come, you do all the talk, as if I’m nobody here. Allow me also to open my mouth when relatives, especially my relatives, visit us, Ammalu”
“There are no ‘your relatives’ and ‘my relatives” but only ‘our relatives’. It is the duty of the lady of the house to receive and treat guests, and I’m doing only my job.
I never said that you should not talk to them. My only objection was that you should not simply stand before them, mouth opened, especially when there are ladies among the guests”
“Jam- packed jealousy”
“Love that language. From your mouth alone can flow such English”
“No more misunderstanding on mouth – opening, I hope”
“I’m glad that I married you, Ammalu”
“I’m excited that you said it after 50 years!”
“Ammalu, ‘there is a woman behind every man’s success’, they say.
In our house, it is opposite. I’m behind your success”
“You are only behind me. I’m your success, SP garu”
“As per our old practices, from the day one of their wedding, the husband should sit and the wife should stand. Always stand. Hope you are taught this by your father, Ammalu”
“My father told me, when I was sitting on his lap and you were standing before me to tie the maangalya soothram, ‘Ammalu, see him standing before you, while you are sitting. Always maintain this position. That is the practice, passed on to us from generation to generation. Always remember this'”
Ammalu, answering the phone call is more important for you than serving me food? where are pappads?”
“In the kitchen, at the usual place, in the usual dabba And pappads are in the usual round shape. What else do you want?”
“Stop joking ,you old woman. Every nook and corner of the kitchen, I h’ve searched”
“Sorry, Ammalu. I w’ll search now. I blamed you unnecessarily”
“You know how much I earn per month? You should, as you are keeping the money. Who appointed you as the custodian and controller of my earnings, may I know, madam?”
“Your mom. She said soon after our wedding, ‘my son has no control over his mind, tongue and money. From now on, you are going to control all the three’. Of the three, I could control only your money and so, it is safe”

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