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  • A podiarisi story

    Some friends complain that they are not receiving adequate attention from their children living abroad. Some go to the extend of saying that their children were ‘good’ before their wedding, implying that they had become ‘bad’ after wedding!

    I got vexed with one of them and asked, ‘pray, what is your complain against your sons? They are gems, as I know’

    ‘They are not giving green signal for my marrying a woman I like’, was the answer from a man of my age!

    I jumped from my seat and was about to throttle his neck when Ammalu, held me back, but I did yell at him:

    ‘You can’t see without glasses, can’t hear with out aids, can’t walk without a sticker but you want to marry?’

    ‘That exactly is the reason,’ he replied and smiled. Ammalu too joined in his smile.

    My children are very kind to me, too kind I would say. I know they will be, till I ask them for permission for—— .
    No, I won’t. Ammalu will never let me go out of her grips.

    Last week, during their daily FaceTime interaction, I casually mentioned that my podiarisi, broken parboiled rice, stock was getting exhausted. On the third day, I received a small bag of Kerala mattai arisi, through Amazon home delivery.

    As per my usual practice , I searched and found out the price printed on the bag. Rs. 850 for 5 kg! .My blood circulation stopped for a moment. ( it restarted, as it can’t afford to stay immobile for long). For five kilos, I would not have paid more than 250 Rs. In our Malayali shop. The carton says the contents is an Organic stuff. Ok, another 50 Rs.

    Three nights, I didn’t sleep ( of course, I slept during daytimes ).

    I decided to yell at them for wasting their hard earned money , when they call next time, but my matured brain made me to do some minor calculations:

    It was so nice of my son Srikanth to have told his wife Hamsa, about my need, by my just mentioning that my stock was depleting and it was so nice of her to have ordered Kerala mattai. Either my son didn’t mention the name ‘podiarisi’ in his hurry to fulfill my need or in her hurry to oblige him, she heard only ‘arisi’ or the ‘podi’ stuff was not available with Amazon. But for me, what was important was , my son without waiting for a minute, told his wife and she obeyed. Both are important. Equally important.

    ‘He could have asked me,’why podiarisi? Why not the Goduma arisi, broken wheat, you’re eating now?’
    And again Hamsa could have asked her hubby, ‘you get an indent early morning from your dad( she would not have said ‘that old man from Habsiguda’, as my children think that I’m not old now and it will take many more years for me to become old)
    and instantly pass on to me?’

    And if I shout at them, they may not shout back ( as they were not face to face), but next time when I genuinely has a demand, they will give my indent a cold shoulder.

    Considering all these points, I told them in the typical FB language, ‘amazing. You did a good job’. Then after a minute, added, ‘next time before ordering, please consult me’. So, my message was conveyed in a ‘polished’ way

    Just because my children are extremely considerate, I should not take undue advantage. No father at my age can. As my friend Dr. Kidambi Vasudevan of Florida has proclaimed on the wall poster in his house, ‘be nice to your children; they decide your nursing home’

    But, deep inside me that feeling that they paid more for the stuff, was irritating. So, after two days, I told them, 850 Rs. was a big amount to be spent on mattai arisi. It is after all mattai!

    ‘What does ‘mattai’ mean, appa?’, Hamsa asked. ‘Is it same as mottai?’. She was not born in Palakkad, not even in India and therefore, her doubt was understandable.

    ‘Mattai’ is ordinary, not high quality and ‘mottai’ is shaven head.

    ‘Mattai, why Appa? You said it is nutritious?’ Was her next question.
    ‘Probably because it is unpolished and therefore miss the outward appearance of polished rice’, I replied.

    ‘But, it is nutritious though it is unpolished!’, she exclaimed.

    ‘Yes, you’re right my child’, I said and added, ‘many unpolished things in this world are good, like me, though the external appearance may be unappealing, again like me:

    ‘Appa!’, intervened Megh, ‘you’re unpolished! How polished you were in telling us that the amount we paid was unacceptable to you!’

    After a second, Sharath quipped, ‘Dad, a special Margarita treat in the Italian restaurant for you, the day you land here, for claiming that your external appearance is unappealing.
    You’re more stylish than all of us’.

    I’m stylish ! I’m sitting now with a ‘thorthumundu’ on my shoulder!

    Yes, he has a point. Partially wet thorthumundu on the upper torso, is the stylish body cover for the sweaty Hyderabad now.

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  • Ice cream share

    Kids get ice cream without asking, but not me
    So, I cried like a kid, argued like an young son
    Pestered like an old man
    And earned my ice cream!

    Unique is the happiness of sharing
    Ice cream with kids,
    Secret with a trusted friend
    House with own family
    Life with own woman!

    Sorrows ?
    Grief and pains, I share with God
    I pour them as Ahoothi
    In the Agnikundam
    Of my heart.

    Saw a picture one day
    While pouring the ghee of my pains
    May be dream, may be my imagination.

    A boy with a pencil in hand
    An eraser attached pencil
    Dancing on the tongues of fire.

    He draws sketches
    And He erases.
    He makes the wounds
    And He heals.
    He makes me to swim
    And when I was washed away by floods
    He was at the end not as a boy with a pencil
    But as the ocean to receive me!

    All the pencil sketches will be erased
    All waters will join sea
    Till then,
    Let me share with kids my ice cream
    Let me enjoy the life’s cream!
    This is not a dream, this is not a dream
    Why scream?

  • She loves me

    ‘Ammalu, you love me?’

    ‘Why should I, when you don’t love me? ‘

    ‘How do you know that I don’t love you?’

    ‘If you love me, you wouldn’t have asked that question. You would have taken me to the Chettiar shop and bought a Kanchi silk sari’

    ‘Come on. Let us go to Chettiar’

    ‘ I love you’

  • A desire fulfilled

    While in USA, I longed to see places, on return to India.
    Now I’m back but can’t move out as my brother needs me throughout.
    There is a wedding at Bangalore., next week. I wanted to attend; I can’t.
    Kalpathy ther is coming. I want to go, but I can’t.

    But, one desire got fulfilled. I wanted the fat old lady in the opposite house to talk to me, lovingly . She did that yesterday. She said, pointing her finger towards my eyes,
    ‘Old man, next time, when I pass through your gate, if you stare at me, I will sprinkle Guntur mirchi powder deep into your owlish eyes’.

    I know how hot Guntur mirchi powder is!

  • I emptied all my boxes

    Emptied all my boxes, bags and baggages
    Emptied totally.

    Will I be able to empty my mind
    Of my desires, longings,
    Sorrows, regrets?
    Things, my own
    Things not my own?
    And empty totally?

    And where do I keep the unloaded stuff
    They are not clothes or books
    They are thoughts.
    How to transfer, whom to transfer
    My desires, sorrows, regrets, longings?

    I emptied many boxes
    Don’t know how to empty a small pouch
    Inside me, but beyond my reach!

    Leave it, let it remain as such
    When I can’t do much!

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  • An innocuous query on a woman’s wear

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    We have a beautiful park near my house, perhaps the best in the Twin Cities. The senior members of the colony, mostly retired Professors, Scientists and others , all in the evenings of their life, all with some health problems or other, all having good credit balance in their bank account, but still grumbling, assemble there in evenings. I try to avoid them, as they never discuss about the topic of my present interest viz. ‘women and their smiles’ In fact, they never talk about women at all nowadays due to the MeToo fear.

    Only once, I happened to be in their company. Due to my innocence and usual practice , I made an innocuous query about the colorful sari, a lady who passed by, was wearing.

    ‘Eamandi, athu Dharmavarama, Kancheevarama?’

    Is it Dharmavaram silk or Kancheepuram silk(she wears)?’

    For an inquisitive mind as mine such doubts, as you will agree, are not at all out of place. But, I had to face an instant attack from a co- bencher.

    ‘Vaayai moodum. Athu antha varavum illai, intha varavum illai. Ennodu Varam, ennodu samsaram’.

    Polite translation in short : ‘shut up your mouth! She is my boon, my wife, not Dharmavaram or Kanchipuram.

    ((Please note that my comment was not about the woman but about her sari and he had no business to ask me to keep quiet)

    I never expected the presence of a Chennai mama, there. He had landed in our colony, while I was away. Otherwise I wouldn’t have missed him, or to be more accurate, he wouldn’t have missed me.

    ‘I’m sorry, mama’, I said, ‘your boon is my boon too’

    ‘What!’, he got up from his seat, ‘tomorrow you’ll say, my wife is your wife, ngaa?’

    ‘Never will I, Sir, never. Your wife is your wife and will be your wife always’

    He was satisfied.

    Kasturi is his name, not because his wife is Kasturi, but for some reason, you and me are not bothered about.

    Later, me and Kasturi became friends and he took me to his house and introduced me to his wife:
    ‘He is the one who complemented your sari, the other day, in our Harithavanam Park.

    It was a wrong way to introduce an old man, to one’s wife, but I didn’t argue as it was too early for him to know about my attributes and achievements. I was scared that his wife would stare at me in contempt or even ask me to quit. No, she didn’t. In fact, her face turned to a Deepavali night.

    ‘After leaving the college, no one has commented on my sari. Pl. come inside mama, please’, invited the kind lady. Her husband didn’t appreciate the warm welcome she offered, as old men like only old women to be welcomed inside their house.

    ‘Komlam, actually he doesn’t deserve your appreciation as he didn’t appreciate your sari. He doesn’t even know the difference between silk and cotton. That day, you were in fact wearing an ordinary cotton sari and he was enquiring what type of silk it was!’

    When attacked, even an animal won’t keep quiet, but I kept quiet, as my knowledge on women or their ware was really poor then.

    But I explained my position to his wife.

    ‘Whether it was a cotton or silk sari, madam, you looked gorgeous in that dress. You looked Fantastic, you looked amazing. It is not the apparel but the person who donned it shone before my eyes and is shining before me, even know’

    They lady was spellbound; the gentleman started shivering with anger.

    ‘What sweet do you prefer? I will prepare, tomorrow’, enquired the kind woman.

    ‘Jangiri’, I replied in a soft tone. When I speak to women, usually, my voice turns mellifluous.

    Mr. Kasturi leapt before me, like a predator before its prey.

    ‘You think my wife was a charakku master, chef, in hotel Saravanabhava?’, he fumed.

    ‘Laddu is easier for me to make, mama’, said Mrs.K .

    ‘Welcome. Jangiri is like a wheel. Laddu like a ball’, I revealed my expertise.

    ‘Look, he talks about the shape and not about the taste. He doesn’t know the difference between the two. He is perhaps a diabetic and his wife has kept him a mile away from any sweet preparations’

    ‘Mr. K, all sweets are sweets and they taste the same’.
    I replied and then turning to his wife said, : ‘all women are women but your woman is a class by herself’.

    Mrs. K’s face became the New York Central Park, in the Autumn . And Mr. K’s face was like Agni nakshatram summer days, in Palakkad.
    I continued,
    ‘Mami, you are a sweet lady. You are a kind lady. Whatever you give me will be sweet, for me, as your words are sweet, your heart is sweet, your hands are sweet’

    ‘Let us fall at his feet and take his blessings’, Mami invited her hubby to join her. ‘He seems to be a blessed soul. Saraswathy Devi stays on his tongue. See his face. It is glowing’.

    K. didn’t, probably, see any glow in my face. ‘Che!’ – that was the only sound he produced and unwilling to stay there for another minute, he moved towards the the outer gate, from where Ammalu, was entering screaming at me, ‘where did you vanish good-for-nothing old man? I was searching for you behind every woman on the street:

    ‘Mama, who is this woman abusing you?’, enquired anxiously the Jangiri lady.

    ‘All women abuse me madam. That is my Fate. You’re the only one kind to me’.

    K. Came back and wanted to kick me out and Ammalu wanted to punch my nose, but the sweet Jangiri, smiled at me.

    ‘Don’t think she is smiling at you in sympathy. She is smiling out of happiness that another woman too is openly harassing her husband’, blurted K.

    Who can decipher the width and depth of the smiles of women?
    I sang:

    I can fly up or dip deep
    To learn the sky’s width and ocean’s depth.
    But to know the secret of a woman’s smile
    I should be born again and again
    And ask about her wear; not when her hubby is near!

    Ps -in the picture, a discussion on fresh Kancheepuram saris, on the eve of two wedding in my family, in 2001.

  • Let me be relaxed

    Thanks my Lord, my inner guard!

    For your blessings in abundance
    For giving me children with fondness,
    For giving a body that obeys
    A mind that shows correct ways!
    Enough money for day’s charm,
    Enough peace to stay calm.

    What do I lack in life?
    Nothing.
    Let me be relaxed
    Like the kids.

    Problems will come,
    Problems will go
    Time gone is gone
    Way back not known.

    No head, no headache
    I have a head, so headache!
    Glad that I have a head.

    Gods have no problem.
    You’re joking!

    Let me be relaxed
    Like the kids.

  • Guntur mirchi powder

    ‘Ammalu, you should remember that due to my holding a high profile post in Government and also due to my personal charisma, it was natural that I had many friends and a few of them happened to belong to the opposite gender. You should also remember that it is quite natural that I remember some names which may emerge even in sleep’

    ‘Waste of words. You could have simply said,
    ‘Sorry Ammalu’. Matter ends’

    ‘Why should I say sorry?’

    ‘I expected that question. That was why I decided to add Guntur mirippa podi, 🌶 chilli powder in your coffee, instead of sugar, every time, the name of a woman, emerges from your mouth, while awake or in sleep’

  • A catapulted kick

    ‘God came in my dream and said that in my last birth, I was a cowherd and you, Ammalu, one of many cows under my control’

    ‘God came in my dream too and said that in my next many births, I will be a political speaker and you a mike, standing before me, head bent, hearing patiently whatever I say. That is a small punishment for you for your non stop talks dumped on me, all these years’

    ‘God didn’t mention about your past?’

    ‘He did. You didn’t hear the last part of what He told you or you concealed it from me. I turned into a bull and chased all the other cows who ran hither and thither to escape from my torture and in my catapulted action, you landed in Baltimore’

    ‘If God told you so, it can’t be false. Did he tell you how I become a Mahamuni?

    ‘He did. The kick of a cow turned into a bull are so fierce that anyone so catapulted will become a sada, or ordinary Muni. Mine was a double kick and therefore you turned into a Mahamuni’

  • Kappi to Kathakali

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    At times my brain works at abnormally high speed.
    A recent example.
    Time 3.30 pm. Vicha ‘s electronic clock woke him from his post-lunch nap, for a purpose.

    ‘Anna, kaappi’

    Wait man, let me solve this Sudoku four star.
    Minutes, one, two—

    ‘Shall I make kaappi?’ He turns restless.

    I rushed into the kitchen. To make coffee you need just two things, decoction and milk. No sugar for thammudu. Where is milk? In the fridge. Very good.

    Where is decoction? Filter empty. No problem. Srikanth has neatly labeled the dabbas. Picked up coffee -power dabba.

    The holes of the upper mini drum were all blocked. No problem. Let me clear the blocks with a needle. Where is the needle ! Searched everywhere. Not found.
    (There is a box full of insulin syringes with thin needles, but my brain, had gone for a Kerala hartal)

    A flash inside. Brain wakes up like undesirable desires rising at my heart at times. Bad comparison. It is ok. Bad also is a part of life. Black makes white whiter. White is often forgotten; black stay longer. All the luxurious parties in star hotels forgotten; only #MeToo stays.

    There is a solution for every problem. I switch on the stove and holding the percolator carefully with tongs, heat the bottom so as to burn the coffee granules stuck in the holes. The holes are meant for free flow. All holes.

    The idea is not mine. Yes, it was Perinkulam Anantha
    Iyer’s practice. Great man he was. The son follows the father’s footsteps. A proud father, he would have been excited had he watched my action.

    Minutes, one, two —

    The bottom of the percolator turns black. Doesn’t matter. It can be washed off. Some blacks can be cleared, not all. Some stains are immortal. Man goes, stains stay back.
    But wait. Let the heated percolator be on the platform. Let me get milk from the fridge.
    ‘Don’t heat the milk now; let the decoction be ready’, advises the brain.

    Very good, opened the coffee powder dubba, removed the powder and just lifted the percolator with two fingers. It was still red -hot! I forgot. It didn’t .

    Ohoooooooooo! Two fingers got burnt! Ohooooooooo.
    Rushed towards the tap to pour water on the fingers. Oooooo, pooooo!

    Vicha sitting in the hall didn’t hear my screaming from the kitchen. He wouldn’t have heard even if I had screamed at his ears!

    ‘Anna, kaappi aacho?’ Is coffee ready?’

    ‘Unduraa. I will blast your head.’, I screamed. No problem. He wouldn’t heard that too. Disability is a blessings, at times- for others!

    ‘How difficult is the job of a house wife!’ I thought and praised mentally the woman who silently served coffee, 3/4 times daily, just for asking and even without asking for the whole family, friends and frequent visitors, for many years. She would have been appreciating seated on mango tree branch, somewhere. I would have said coconut tree beach, but that tree is too high for her. I don’t want to trouble her. Have troubled her enough before.

    I praised my intelligence too.
    ‘Had I not used the tongs and directly held the filter in my hand and heated?’ Not two fingers, the whole hand would have been burnt. I was indeed a wise man.

    P.A.Iyer, be proud of your son. He I didn’t blame his Fate or the star on the sky on the day of his birth for the mistake he committed.

    ‘Anna, should I come and help you?’

    Oddu Raja, oddu. Your coffee is almost ready.

    The burnt fingers continued to blame my foolishness- ‘you have no sense’, I passed on the blame to my brain.

    ‘If I’m senseless why did you scream, when you got burnt? ‘ asked the brain.

    ‘Kappi unda, illaya- are you going to give me coffee or not?’

    Oh my god! The milk has boiled and boiled and boiled, overflown on the burner, putting off the flame, leaving the base of the vessel charred. I was standing almost touching it but didn’t notice the overflow of its anger. Not surprising- I was standing, not close, but touching a woman, but failed to see her overflowing anger. Anyway that was when I was younger. When you are young, you fail to see the face of your wife, see only her back and when the time comes to see her front, you see only her back, that too from a distance. No problem, I see her face from the wall opposite to me.

    ‘Anna—-‘ Thammudu reminds again. What to do now? No milk in stock. Shall I go out and buy a packet from the shop on the circle road? Poor Vicha is going dry with no kaappi which keels him alive, though limping.

    At that critical moment, the embodiment of immense mercy,
    Saraswathy Devi, who had abandoned me for the past two months, inspires my mind and I sing aloud, for the first time in the last two months, a popular Kathakali padam, loudly:

    :
    “ajitha hare jaya madhava vishno!
    ajitha hare jaayaa maadhava vishno!
    ajitha hare jaya madhava vishno”

    Viswanatha Iyer, heard the third repetition and responded, skipping the next few lines, and sang, in high pitch. That is how that padam has to be sung.

    “paladinam aayi njanum balabhadranuja ninne paladhinamayi njanum balabhadranuja ninne nalamodu kaanmathinnu kaliyalleruchikunnu
    nalamodu kaanmathinnu kaliyalleruchikunnu”

    He wanted to convey that he too, was like Sudhama, waiting long, not to meet Lord Krishna, but for his favorite kaappi