Shivam Diaries

Category: A12– Everything under the Sun

  • When both living under the same roof are of the same age

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    ‘Vicha, the newspaper fellow claims that he didn’t collect his bill for the last three months. Is he right?’

    ‘Anna, how do I know? You settle all bills and not me!’

    ‘So, you have no responsibility in this house? You are careless, forgetful, irresponsible—‘

    ‘Anna, I saw some clothes in the washing machine’

    ‘Oh, woo, woo, lying there for the past three days. Forgot completely’

    ‘You forgot to pickup the clothes from the machine for three days?’

    ‘Yes, yes, yes, yes’

    ‘And you shout at me for not remembering a three month old transaction where I had no role to pay?’

    ‘Oh, woo, woo, shall I make masala dosa for you for dinner ?’

  • In response to my daughter’s greeting

     

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    Ha, ha, Konthai,
    morning from here,
    Looked at the watch
    December seven.
    The date Mookkunni @ recorded
    The day, I was launched
    Great you remembered,
    Though I didn’t.

    My launch was great
    Not because I became great
    But I became your dad
    And of your brothers,
    I became the eldest brother
    Of my siblings,
    I became a worthy son
    Of my parents,
    A honest husband
    To your mom,
    A faithful worker to my employer
    And above all
    I never made my  Owner
    To regret my launch

    All others are unimportant.
    If a man is honest to his woman,
    Children, siblings and God,
    All other things are unimportant.

    And for me, only important
    Is your love, others love,
    God’s love and life’s love.

    ‘We are ALWAYS with you’,
    You said and I know.
    That ‘we’ covers everyone
    Including your mom.

    ‘Mom’?.
    Yes, your mom,
    You and your brothers
    Are her gifts,
    The golden flowers,
    Fresh and fragrant ever,
    She gifted.

    I hear your asking,
    ‘What is life’s love?’
    Life loves only those
    Who love’s her,
    I love my life
    And you all are my life!

    @ the name of the astrologer who wrote my horoscope

  • Current century’s theory

    A day of chats, it looks today.

    ‘Mama, namaskaram, aaseervaadam pannunkol’

    ‘Namaskaram, deerghasumangali bhava’

    ‘How do you know that I’m a sumangali?’

    ‘You called me ‘mAma’ ; so you should be a ‘mAmi’

    ‘If I’m unmarried?’

    ‘Still my blessings hold’

    ‘If I don’t want to marry?’

    ‘Still my blessings hold. Mangalam is auspiciousness. You will have it for long’

    ‘I’m your FB friend mama’

    ‘I know that. That was how you could chat with me’

    ‘I’m not like your other friends’

    ‘I know that too’

    ‘How, how?’

    ‘No one has told me what you said just now. So, you are different from others’

    ‘Thanks, uncle’

    ‘From mama to uncle?’

    ‘Yes, you don’t seems to be as old as I thought . Can I ask you something?!

    ‘Please go ahead, madam’

    ‘Mami to madam?!

    ‘You seems to be the daughter and not a mother. Go ahead with your question’

    ‘Thanks again. Are you really a bad character as you depict about about yourself?’

    ‘When did I do that ?’

    ‘Mostly. Your stories, poses with wine bottles, your jokes’

    ‘You consider those bad?’

    ‘Not bad, but I don’t like those’

    ‘If those are bad, I’m bad’

    ‘But you don’t look that bad’

    ‘I’m not that bad’

    ‘So you are not very good too?’

    ‘What is very good?’

    ‘Look like an elderly Brahmin, spiritual, matured, deal with topics which usualły people of your age talk about etc, etc’

    ‘I don’t have that elderly, matured, scholarly, spiritual look?’

    ‘No says my husband. He doesn’t like you’

    ‘I know that’

    ‘How do you know? He hasn’t told that to anyone except me! How did you come to know about it? Are you really the Mahamuni of Baltimore?’

    ‘Your husband is talking to me on phone’

    ‘Please, please don’t tell him that I told you about his dislike for you’

    ‘No need. He has told me his opinion about me’

    ‘What is that?’

    ‘I have a matured, spiritual, scholarly look!’

    ‘But, he told a lie to me?’

    ‘Don’t get emotional. All husbands tell one or two lies to their sweet hearts everyday’

    ‘You too?’

    ‘Pappa, I’m like any other man!’

    ‘Pappa!’

    ‘You seems to be ignorant of the basic knowledge a wife should possess’

    ‘Who is the best wife, according to you, mama?’

    ‘The woman who loves her husband best’

    ‘And no other qualities?’

    ‘All other qualities will automatically come. If a married couple love, sincerely love each other, all other attributes will automatically join them. Deficiency if any, will vanish or will be forgiven in due course . Love covers everything’

    ‘You talk like a saintly, matured, scholarly person. But shall I tell you one thing: your thinking is outdated. How can a woman love her husband if he is a good- for- nothing man? And how can love be unconditional? How can love cover deep deficiencies ?
    Be reasonable uncle. You belong to two centuries behind in thinking and four centuries behind in your looks ‘

    ‘So, poor score for me?’

    ‘No, you are good for a chat till the cooker whistles thrice’

    ‘Your cooker has done its job?’

    ‘That is my husband’s look out . He does my entire kitchen work’

    ‘And you love him, sincerely?

    ‘I love him madly. The husband knowing cooking is free from any deficiencies ‘

    ‘That is the current century’s theory ?’

    ‘Of course. Bye. Gd dy oldie!’

  • Women are the best

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    ‘Three months ago, how Meghana neatly organized my home which was a symbol of chaos, confusion! How did I manage to bring back the disorder so fast?’

    These were my thoughts when I looked at the window from my bed, this morning.
    Men, I can tell you, are expert in bringing disorder to their homes . One exception, my eldest son, Sharath. Generally my children have inherited an orderly way of living from their mother, but Sharath stands apart and from them and above,. It won’t be an exaggeration if I tell you that even Megh learns from him to keep things in order, to maintain life in order. I too could have learned, but I didn’t as I’m what I am and won’t change to better.

    I can tell you one more important thing. You should have a wife for having children!⚽️And also for bringing them up. I’m not joking. Hadn’t I had one, I could have, with my tapobhalam, spiritual powers, created kids but would not have been successful in bringing them up as they have turned out to be now. Women are the best in bringing up kids. Women are the best to help you to have children of whom you will be proud of- unless of course you are a tapaswi like me!

    ——

  • No problem?

     

    Hyderabad winter has a warmth in its approach, unlike the Baltimore or New Jersey counter part. She slides her soft hand through my chin; doesn’t strangulate me. She whispers, doesn’t yell; She sings love songs, not beat war drums.

    Madhavi’s parents had invited for Rudrabhishekam in their house. I forgot the engagement. It was 9,30 am when I got up this morning. I did get up twice before but thought why get up so early. In the morning hours, it is a pleasure in remaining on the bed, pushing head into the gap of two or three pillows soft, silky. I was like that during my early days. History repeats, not sure in other cases, but sure in late getting up in the morning hours.

    Mohana’s reminder on landline . ‘Called you several time, your mobile is not working?’ Hurried to pick it up. Oh, no. No charge in the mobile. Had kept for charging last night, but the charger failed me. No problem. Haven’t I all these years lived without a mobile? Where is my electric shaver ? Oh, no charge in it too. No problem. Looked for the razor. No trace. No problem . No harm if participated in the Japam with hairs on the face. Rushed to bathroom, poured a dozen mugs of water over head, no soap , no cheekai powder. Have been using those daily. No damage, if skipped a day. The lessons on Crisis Management learned long ago, came to mind and I applied the theories fast. But was a total failure with Vicha. No problem. He will improve in due course. There is plenty of time. He is only 78.

    Kept some rice and vegetables for Vicha in a hurry on the stove and wanted to ask him to switch off the cooker after three whistles. But where is he?

    Vicha had sneaked into the ‘restroom’. While in India, for me, it is a bath cum toilet, for him it is a real ‘restroom’! The moment he enters in, switches on the heater as he needs hot water for washing too, even for a small, localized wash. Then he sits on the pot and starts singing Pattanathar or Masthan Sahib. In his peak days, he used to sing Kathakali songs too but not now. While singing K.songs, one has to move his head and limbs which is against my brother’s habits nowadays.

    I knocked the door. No response. Again and again I knocked. Later he told me that he mistook my knocks for the batting sound from the front where kids were playing cricket on the street. I could hear his clapping, presumably to encourage a boy who knocked a sixer.

    Rudrabhishekam would have commenced.

    ‘Viswanatha!’
    I called. God is great. ‘Deivam manushyaroopena’, they say. Hyderabad Viswanathan opened the door and enquired, ‘you called me Anna?’

    ‘No, why?’

    He said something but I could not hear. My hearing aid battery was dead.. No problem. I have a box full packed by Megh. But, where is my goggle ? How to search for the batteries? I lifted my right hand to my eyes and found the area blank. No problem. I can follow the lip movement of vadhyar and follow him. But, what happened to the pressure cooker? The three whistles would have come out during the past few seconds when I pulled down the door of my aid for recharge. I rushed to the kitchen. I had not lighted the stove! . No problem.

    Phone rings. . Thought it was from my cousin Cartoonist Ramki with whom I was earlier discussing about a character’s sketch and replied hurriedly, ‘I like her back more than her front’

    I kept down the phone.

    The phone rang again.

    Now, I could hear the voice from the other end as the battery, when reconnected worked. It will be active for a few more seconds.
    The Call was from Mohana!

    ‘Anna, while I’m waiting for you here, you are telling me about your birthday wishes!
    I will call every one in USA and inform about your preference!’

    Now there is a problem, a real problem.

  • My eightieth birthday musing

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    Twenty long years just rolled by like twenty days! Today is Vrichikam ( Karthikai) Hastham and on this day two decades ago, when my children were all small, their mother was with us and my siblings, their partners, my nephews, nieces all joined at Anantha Jyothy and we had a big celebration here in this hall. I stand there alone today. Many scenes of the past two decades passes through my mind. Many good things, some bad things too happened in my life and good events pushed to a corner the bad events, though could not bury those for ever. It gives me anyway, solace to see that I’m alive and kicking, kicking at times too fast, for my age! . Overall, things are not bad, in fact they are very good, considering the sharp punches and pinches dents and cracks inflicted by the Time. I can talk coherently, walk without losing steps, recall and reproduce what I’m told, eat without any external help and do many things on my own, all great gifts. My children are kind, courteous and caring and more importantly their life partners too. There can’t be a better celebration than that. Let me celebrate these silently, my children’s support, my body’s support, my mind’s support and above all God’s support.

    Let it continue Baghavan, let it’

  • Applauses in advance for my Amla pickles, please

     

    I won’t have another eightieth birthday.- who said? I will have one more, the third and the last one this year, on December 8th, as it was on that date I was born, according to my horoscope. In fact that should be the correct date of birth, irrespective of what was written on my official records or on what star I was born.
    I can’t tell you what my parents did on my first birthday. It could have been a subtle affair within the four walls of their house or of the village temple. The real ‘celebration’, if I may use that word was on my sixtieth birthday, and never in between. Even my latest birthday was not a ‘celebration’, but a purely family affair within the four falls of my relative’s house. Not a single outsider was there, not even my closest friends or neighbors or even some relatives. Only while in USA with my children, they used to make a big show with get -together, gift distribution etc. ‘oh, Anna, theriyalaiyea- I didn’t know ‘, said my cousin sister’s hubby whom I met the very next day morning in the Ayyappa temple.

    How to start the day one after completing my landmark year?
    Special prayers, specific vows to do or not to do something? No fears. I can’t chain my self with ‘dos and don’t dos’.

    Maghar, kutchbhi karnaheina? Jaroor. Something has to be done and I did a great job. Applauses in advance, please!

    While returning from the temple yesterday, I bought two kilos of Nellikay, Amla from a wayside vendor, attracted by the heap of fresh, yellowish green, fresh vegetable balls packed with Vit C and other nutrients, in the lush cart. I made today, pickles under the able guidance of Nandur uncle, who was monitoring the progress of the great task I was involved in, through telephone contact. My maiden attempt in making pickle was a wonderful success and no promises or vows would have been given me as much satisfaction as this one has provided. If not at 80 plus when do I do what I want to do? Hope my daughters in law and their hubbies in America are hearing!

    I strongly recommend all my male friends to start learning cooking, if they haven’t already. As I mentioned earlier, the joy of feeding others with the food made by you, is unique.
    And unparalleled will be your aanantham, if the recipient happens to be your sweet heart!

    The first guest to taste my food after I started this job some three months ago, was Bhaskar, my youngest daughter in law Hamsadwani’s dad yesterday and he liked immensely my dosa, upma, chutneys and fresh decoction kappy. The message of my expertise would have already reached yesterday Boston from him to my daughter in law and in a few minutes it would have spread to other States of USA as well. In fact, another daughter in law Madhavi who left for USA, on Friday night, would have already done it after tasting my sample sambar and my name and fame as a master chef will already be floating in the chill American aakaasam or sky.

    I offered a beautiful maize bulb to my Lord during my daily morning worship as neivedyam , attracted by its appearance. It is a pleasure to slowly remove the thin silky layers of maize skin and observe the emerging yellow pearl like kernels. On the other hand we shed tears while doing the same operation on onion. So, ‘no onion as food’, said my seniors.

    Maize , yes.

    ‘—–kooyavaas cha may,
    Annam cha may,  akshu cha may,  vreehayas cha may,  yavaas cha may, bhashaas cha may,
    Thilaas cha may,  mudhgas cha may,  kkhalvas cha may, godhumas cha may,
    Masooras cha may, priyangavas cha may, anavas cha may, sayaamaakas cha may’

  • You are not the lamps but the shine

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    (A Facebook post dtd  Nov 16, 2o16 )

    See the condition of the earthen lamps, which were so beautiful last night, the moment the oil and wicks in them got exhausted!

    Will I too be like this when my power pack loses it power? Will me too, nourished with selected vegetables and fruits and high class diet, keeping a watch on the Diet chart close to my plate, will become like these pathetic lamps?

    ‘Man, you are joking. Where is the comparison between you and these lamps? ‘

    ‘Are we not from the same earth?’

    ‘You are. But, you will shine again, when you get a fresh life. That is what our book says’

    ‘You mean to say that my body will rise up afresh, when recharged, like these lamps?’

    ‘Not your body, your soul’

    ‘But these lamps, the same lamps, become alive, when fresh oil and wicks are replaced’

    ‘Do they. They become alive again only if the wicks, dipped in the oil, are lighted’

    ‘Then why don’t me, the very same me, get lighted?’

    ‘Ha, ha, poor guy, you are not the body. Someone told you that you are the body and you believed. You are a ray of the light, which doesn’t go off. You are not the earthen lamps, you are the shine in those’

    मनोबुद्ध्यहङ्कार चित्तानि नाहं
    न च श्रोत्रजिह्वे न च घ्राणनेत्रे ।
    न च व्योम भूमिर्न तेजो न वायुः
    चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम् ॥१॥
    Mano-Buddhy-Ahangkaara Cittaani Naaham
    Na Ca Shrotra-Jihve Na Ca Ghraanna-Netre |
    Na Ca Vyoma Bhuumir-Na Tejo Na Vaayuh
    Cid-Aananda-Ruupah Shivo[a-A]ham Shivo[a-A]ham ||1||

    Meaning:
    1.1: Neither am I the Mind nor Intelligence or Ego,
    1.2: Neither am I the organs of Hearing (Ears), nor that of Tasting (Tongue), Smelling (Nose) or Seeing (Eyes),
    1.3: Neither am I the Sky, nor the Earth, Neither the Fire nor the Air,
    1.4: I am the Ever Pure Blissful Consciousness; I am Shiva, I am Shiva,
    The Ever Pure Blissful Consciousness.

  • Laughing loud at Yama ?

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    Cartoon courtesy   Ramki of Chennai

    ‘With so much load on your head, you are able to laugh and laugh so loud?’, commented Dr.Rao, , who stays a few houses away, when we met last evening. I was sad to see the man who had repaired the legs of several patients had to use a stick to walk a few yards!

    ‘What else can I do?’, I asked, ‘laughing gives more support than weeping’

    I had observed the power of laughing as a boy. There was a Rama Iyer, who worked as water carrier at the Olavakkode Railway junction. He was tall, seen bare chested mostly.

    ‘Mama, chiriyinkol – please laugh’. We, children used to request and instantly he used to produce a powerful, happy laugh for a few seconds. Probably, he had a minor nervous disorder but whatever it be, his action used to make us happy. Since then, I have never seen a man who produces laugh on request, instantly, happily.

    Invariably, I don’t laugh, except while alone, without a reason. I cut a joke at a lady who passed by, raising her sari much above her ankles, on seeing a small patch of water on her way. Her action reminded me another lady who pulled her sari -end away from me to ensure that it didn’t touch me if moved by the wind. There was no need for that as she was a meter away and unless there was a storm, the possibility of what she feared was not there! Over cautious was she, I thought.

    Had the present ‘madi’ lady asked me the reason for my laugh, I would have told her, ‘that much height is not required. A few centimeters above the feet would have been sufficient!’

    ‘You come back from America to observe the distance of the sari-hike of women passing through your front?’

    She would have certainly asked. As I had more valid reasons for coming back to my country, I would have explained those to her and by that time, the wet patch on the road would have gone dry and she could have gone back home without disturbing her sari.

    Dr. Reddy was perhaps right in using the word, ‘so loud’ . The
    lady’ s action didn’t merit a big laugh, perhaps. Yes, I feel now that I should not have laughed loud.

    once the laugh breaks out, it doesn’t go by any scale.
    That is the advantage of laughing. But, alas, all can’t laugh.
    Laughing is good for all, especially old people. The Lord of death will hesitate to come near. He wants people to weep. It hurts his ego, if his prospective victims laugh instead of weeping!

    ‘Are, Shivudu, navuthunAvA, naeanu evaru thelusa? You know who I’m, laughing useless fellow?’ He will ask me and also answer himself his query, while I continue laughing at him. ‘Yemadharma Raju- I’m Yemadharma raja!’

    ‘if you are a raja, you should come in a chariot or riding a horse!’

    He will have no reply. But while, going back home, he will muse and wonder why he was provided a dirty looking dark buffaloe and not a majestic bull or a smart bird like Garuda.
    My words will ring in his years for quite sometime. That is how we should be. Point out the poverty of the Lord of Death.

    Death is not everything. It is something, that is all.

    Im not interested in ‘something’.

  • Damn dirty

    A husband and wife fought in the neighborhood . Let them . Why did they marry after all, if not for fighting? But why should I be called to interfere? I don’t even know them! I enjoy such quarrels sitting inside my house near the door or widow so that I get a good view. But the other ladies called me to enter the battle ground. I went. After all, it was a Deepavali night. The crackers were not making enough noise to make me go crazy. If not during Diwali nights when do I go crazy?

    The next morning the second son of that couple came home and said, ‘uncle, you know why I pulled you back?’ Then, he showed the scar on his hand muscle and added, ‘my mother bit me last month. I don’t want you to be bitten by her’

    ‘Even dogs don’t bite me’, I said, ‘they don’t like my smell’

    ‘Uncle, it is not a joke, getting bitten by one’s own mother’.
    There was sadness in his voice.

    ‘Now I guess why your dad was shouting at her’, I told him.

    The engineering student replied calmly.

    ‘No, uncle. He slapped her as he was fully drunk’

    ‘Your dad is a drunkard ?’ I asked him surprisingly as he appeared to be a honorable man like me when I met him the other day, for the first time.

    ‘Now I guess why your mother went crazy’,  told him what I felt.

    ‘No, uncle’ said the elder son, in the final engineering, who entered. ‘They both got married only because of the compulsions from their relatives, not because they liked each other’

    ‘Now, I guess why you two sons are so reasonable, intelligent and smart’

    ‘No uncle’, they said together, clearly, firmly and with no tinge of anger in their voice. we want to show them that we can come up in life despite the damn, dirty environment’

    I still feel the force and hatred with which the boys pronounced the words, ‘damn dirty environment’ .

    I knew that they were actually cursing their parents and not their fate or environment  Please note that I didn’t say, ‘I guess’ this time.

    Allow your children to grow in a peaceful ambience. Otherwise, they will curse you throughout their life- ‘damn dirty’ !