“Come closer, sweet heart. Let me share a secret with you. Your mom’s hearing capacity is completely gone. We can talk freely about her, even when she roams in our home like a lioness. Rejoice”
“Yesterday, she abused you right and left when you were roaming inside our home like a lion cub; you didn’t hear a word! And nothing secret about it and nothing to rejoice. We should change your hearing aid”
“I see. When did your mom go to Kasi? She didn’t tell me a word”
“OMG, We have to change your ears, not the aid”
“Change my ears? Have you gone mad, Ammalu?”
“So, it is selective hearing ; I should warn my mom, when she comes again”
——————————————-
“It is my dreams, Ammalu, that we both together should workout on that Elliptical equipment”
“Too late, SP. You never had such dreams, though erratic, when yours and my legs and hands were in coordination and cooperating. Then your dream partners were your college mates and colleagues”
“How did you know that my dream mates were others and not you?”
“Then you were humming Hindi movie tunes; now you are singing Thodi and MukhAri”
—————————————
“From now on, Ammalu, let us be friends”
“Are we enemies now?”
“Now we’re only husband-wife. No charm in it. Like a Newspaper read and re- read.
Let us be just friends. There will be fun. Lot of fun”
“Ok. Get up. Buy me an ice cream. Cone ice cream”
“Why not stick -ice cream? Cone is more expensive”
“What a kanjoose friend are you, who can’t buy me a cone ice cream? I’m going away.
I don’t need your friendship. Will ask another friend for a cone or even a cup ice cream”
“Ammalu, what do you mean? How you can you just go away? Remember, we are husband-wife”
“What husband- wife? No charm in it. Like a newspaper read and re- read”
———————
“Ammalu, only yesterday I realized that I love you. I love you intensely”
“I realized that long ago and my problem started. Go to sleep now, before you love me more intensely”
———————-
“My parents handed over me, the kohinoor diamond in a golden plate, to your mom, but neither she nor her daughter realized my value. What a pity, Ammalu”
“kohinoor is in a London museum and this plate is not gold. Could it be some other diamond and some other plate?”
“Could be. But the son in law, whom you two women deceived, is the same person”
“Certainly not. The son-in-law was a charming young man, of golden character and certainly not an old man trying to deceive two old women, showing a one rupee worth plate and claim that it is of gold”
“Ammalu, I’m the same person, who has become old now. How did you get the suspicion that I’m a different person?”
“Ok. Then return this plastic plate and get me a gold one and a diamond, not necessarily a kohinoor ”
——————————————————-
“More, the merrier, Ammalu. What you say?”
“Laddus?’
“No, wives”
“For you?”
“For me? After marrying you and being with you so long, will I aspire for more wives?”
“Then, who is that ‘more the merrier’ mad cap?”
“The husband in my dream. I’m not that lucky. I’m stuck to you. But don’t worry, I won’t leave you”
“Even if you leave me, I won’t leave you, as you will fall down without my support and roll on the ground. Dream if you must but never try to rise up imaging you have wings and a dozen angels are waiting for you in the land above.
The sky is much high above our floor level”
“Why should I Ammalu, when you are my angel on the land, more charming than all the angels in the sky. Right?”
“Right. Perfectly right. I love to hear you praising and I will never take it as sarcasm as all your swasams, breaths are under my control”
“Arrogance of a wife at its Himalayas! Have you forgotten that you’re a Bharatha Stree, an Indian woman, whose place is at the feet of her husband?”
“I haven’t. That was why I said that I would hold you firm to the ground so that you don’t fly away, like a kite detached from its thread. There was, however, a small omission and I’m sorry for that. I should have said that I would hold your legs firm”
“Leg pulling at its worst form”
“Sorry to make a small amendment, SP. ‘Leg pulling to the Atlantic Ocean depth’
Either a mountain or an ocean, for a man who is never on his ground.
Good night, SP. enjoy your dream!”
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“Ammalu, I’m prepared to go to any extend to please you. Any extend. Shall I scale the temple wall and jump into the pond?”
“Don’t go to that extend. Take the side gate. That would do ”
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“Generally a husband will have just one wife. Luckier ones will have two, luckiest three and so on. Irrespective of the number of women, the pair of eyes and ears will be only one and the tongue just one, for each wife. I have only one wife, but she has one hundred eyes and one hundred ears. Tongue two hundred. Yes, my mother in law, as you said the other day, I’m the luckiest, I’m the luckiest”
“But, SP. without throwing a single speck of dirt, oil or water or chilly powder, you make my daughter blind, deaf and dumb, all at a time, for all your mischief.
I’m the luckiest, I’m the luckiest ”
“Smart lady, why didn’t you say that your daughter is the luckiest”
“No use. She says, with my eyes, ears and mouth shut, I can see where my husband is, I can hear what he utters . And without moving my tongue a millimeter, he follows my instructions.”
“So, she is certainly the luckiest, MIL. Why don’t you tell her”