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Ammalu is amazing

Did you chat this morning with a Facebook friend called Nany?”
“Not Nany; She is Any. Your knowledge of English names is not up to the mark”
“She is a woman; that is important. Not the name. When she wrote, ‘be in touch”,
Did you ask ‘when to touch, where to touch’?”
“Was it a crime, Ammalu? When she asked to be in touch, I asked when and where? Was that wrong?. How did you know? She called you? How old is she? Hoe does she look?”
“She looks good. A nice lady. She said while leaving, “you teach SP how to touch also. He didn’t ask me but I know he doesn’t know”
“Why is Pattabhi standing at the gate, Ammalu? What prevents him coming inside?”
“He quarreled with his wife ”
“Then, he should have waited outside their gate and not here”
“It seems you have some theories of reconciliation. He wants them. Please go and help your friend”
“Oddamma oddu. You remember long time ago, when they quarreled, Pattabhi took me along with him, made me to wait at the gate, went in to apply my theory of reconciliation and failed to come out. After waiting in the hot sun for an hour,
I returned”
“That theory won’t work now. They, both have become old. Suggest some new theories, if you have”
My face shines like a mirror, says Ammini”
“Naturally. You used a new blade for shaving after twenty years!
And why that bandage on your finger? Got cut by the new blade?”
“No, Ammalu, the finger got jammed in the door- gap”
“How many times haven’t I told you not to push the tooth paste tube into that gap, to extract the last drop? Are you short of money ? What are you doing with all the money so saved? Are you maintaining a second house?”
“What does it means, Ammalu?”
“Another house and another wife”
“Don’t say such harsh words. I will push my finger into that gap again”
“So, it was not the Colgate paste, but your finger that you pushed! May I know why, Sir? Did my mother ask you this morning, the question about the sharing, I asked
you ? I heard her yelling at you”
“No, it was the tooth paste only. Your mom wanted a new tooth paste tube.
I bought one but thought why give the whole tube to the old lady with hardly half a dozen teeth. So, tried to transfer half the quantity into a bottle and in that effort got my finger injured”
“Why the help of a door joint ? By just pressing, you could have transferred some quantity, if your miserly mind doesn’t allow the transfer of the full tube?”
“That was to ensure the transfer of exactly half the quantity so that later I can reclaim it. Moreover, when someone mentions tooth paste, I think of the door- gap.
When someone mentions your name—”
“You remember Ammini, Paru, ChAru, PAttu —”
“No. I remember your mother and 50% tooth paste, she owes me!”
“Mother -in- law Mahan, everything is fine at home. We are leading a happy, married life. I do all the work and your daughter watches all TV serials, seated comfortably on the sofa.”
“So, the sofa is there! I was about to give a police complaint”
“Mom, that old piece, as old as you are or even older, was willingly gifted to us with your own hands. Forgetfulness is a curse in the old age”
“Yes, but I have not forgotten many things you said, to grab my daughter, including that
that were three sofas in your hall”
“Did I say so, madam? I don’t remember now. Forgetfulness is a curse even for young men like me”
“That is fine. I will come along with you and stay permanently there. I can’t sit or sleep on the floor. My cow Kavery too will accompany me . Take care of her”
‘And milk her and distribute milk?”
“Yes, take her out for grazing too”
“I will just order three new sofas for you, MiL”
“No. I want only my old sofa”
“It will be here in another hour, madam”
“There is a Hartal today. How will you get it ?”
“By head-load. Carrying a sofa on my head is much easier than pulling an animal, as adamant as your daughter, through the street”

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