“Every husband, what did I say, Ammalu ?”
“Every husband”
“Yes, at one time or other develops a disappointment that had he waited a little longer or had his star been a little brighter, he would have married a woman, better in looks than his wife”
“you too had that disappointment?”
“I know that your ears have become ornamental. That was why I got it reconfirmed from you that you heard the two words, ‘every husband’ correctly”
“Like you, I too would like to have a reconfirmation from you. Did you have that disappointment?”
“Yes, I had. Did you too have similar disappointment?”
“No. I was confident that I could mould any raw clay to the doll of my liking”
“Did you succeed? I’m not an ordinary clay, Ammalu. I’m a granite- clay. What clay?”
“Granite- clay”
“Correct. Did you succeed in moulding me , to your liking. Say, ‘yes’ or ‘no'”
“No”
“So, you lost?
“No, I won”
“How?”
“I molded myself to make you walk behind me holding the end of my sari, always. What did I say SP Sir?”
“Sorry, Ammalu. My ears have turned ornamental”
“No problem. Leave my sari -end, please. I have work in the kitchen”
—————————————————
“Ammalu, can I have a word in confidence with you?”
“What do you mean? Other than you and me, is there anyone here?”
“Ammalu, I don’t know how to make you understand?”
“No need. You be where you are and I will be where I’m”
——————–
“Hugging is very common in America, madam mother in law. Man hugs man, woman hugs man. Very common there”
“You are going to hug some one or some one is going to hug you, son in law?”
“I was just alerting. In case a woman hugs me, you should not fall unconscious ”
“Why should I bother man? Go and tell your wife”
“I told her”
“What was her response? Did she swoon?”
No. Crisp was her reply. ‘tell me only if a bear hugs you’.
———————————————————-
“Chottae, kid, aren’t you my sister in law’s sister’s son?”
“No, mottae”
“You call me mottae, old man?”
“Aren’t you?”
“Aren’t you my brother in law’s brother’s son?”
“No”
“You might be somebody’s son, I’m sure”
“I’m your son, dad”
“Don’t Agee. What proof do you have?”
“I haven’t not acquired your irreparably irritating tongue or irrevocably damaged commonsense. But, I have inherited from my mother, the magnanimously matured thoughts and benevolent blend of compassion and consideration for the fellow beings. I’m not boastful like my beastly behavioral bappa, that is father but I’m like my lovely, long haired, logistically thinking, lenient mother of long lasting love and—-”
“Enough, son. Enough. No more proof is required . That language is mine. So, you are mine”
“Tube light like -brain, dad. When I responded your ‘chottae’, with my ‘mottae’, you should have recognized me”
——————————————————–”
“Touching the foot of a woman other than your wife? Aren’t you ashamed, old man?”
“Gracious ML, she had a thorn stuck in her sole. . Poor thing she came all the way limping”
“Was she that poor not to have a safety pin hanging from the chain on her breast?’
” I look only at the feet of women other than my wife, melodious mother in law”
“My daughter was laughing at your stupidity. I’m sorry for your behavior SP”
“Ammalu is my wife. She knows how pure I’m in mind and body. That was why she didn’t yell at me but laughed. For me, all women except you, are incarnations of Goddess Mahalakshmi”
“And I’m the incarnation of devil?”
“No. You are the incarnation of Kali, BadrakAli.”
“Ok. I will remember your words when you ask for bus fare back home, next time”
“MAtha, Marakatha shyAma, remember, there are small thorns in your backyard too”
“Don’t worry. I won’t come to you limping. I always keep a safety pin with me”
—————————————
“Sir, you know whose mobile number this is ?”
“How do I know man? You expect me to keep a directory?”
“Sorry, I thought this could be your wife’s number?”
“My wife doesn’t have a mobile. Even if she has one, she will never give the number to me. She fears that I have a knack of attracting her friends to my friends’ list”
“That is OK Sir. Just have a look at this number. Only for my satisfaction”
“Oh, man! This is the number of my mobile which I lost recently”
“You lost? How Sir?”
“While scaling the Mount Everest!. Why are you bothered how I lost and where I lost?”
“Sorry Sir, you are joking. Cell phones are not allowed on the mountains. Have you lodged any complaint, Sir.? This is my last question”
“No, I haven’t. I won’t . I have better works to do than being after the police constables”
“Thank you, Sir. That is the information I wanted”
“Why? You wanted to opt for this number?”
“No, sir. I have the phone with me”
“You scoundrel, stole my phone? Where did you find it?”
“Below the Mount Everest, Sir”
————————————
“Madam ML, ask your daughter not to treat me as her watchman?”
“What happened SP? Why an early morning visit with a complaint? What happened at home?
Did she ask you not to keep the gate opened?”
“No, she asked me to close the gate. It seems she forgot to close it behind her and went straight into the kitchen. How can your daughter forget such an important issue ?”
“Don’t worry. I will ask her not to forget from now on. Yesterday, she asked you to book for the gas cylinder. I’m sure you would have done it”
“Woo, ML. I forgot. I will do it now”
“Bought washer for the pressure cooker?’
“Extremely sorry, peddamma garu. I will do it now”
“Did you close the gate when you came out?”
“So sorry, the gem of my mom. Will go and close it now”
“If you come again with such a silly complaint about my daughter, I will take back everything I gave you, including my daughter. Go and finish all the jobs Ammalu has asked you to do and come and report”