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Ammalu is always right

“Ammalu, Ammini says that you are lucky to have a husband like me,
handsome ..”
“Talksome, boastsome, …”
“Pity your English, madam. What connection has talksome and boastsome has with my talking and boasting, if that is what you want to say?”
“The same connection handsome has with your hands. But you could understand what I meant. Though grammatically, I was not correct, the purpose was served. Language is for that”
“You are teaching me the intricacies of language?”
“No, Sir, the basics”
“Every one says that I’m great, Ammalu”
” I too say ”
“That is all ? You should have said that I’m very great ”
“How does it matter? If you were not great, I made you great. If you were great I made you very great ”
“I made, I made’ you say. Am I iddli or dosa for you to make ?”
“A mother gives birth to the baby and makes him an adult. A wife makes him a man”
“And the husband?”
“Enjoys life ”
“That is all ? Husband has no other role ?”
“Wanders in illusion wondering whether he is great, greater or the greatest ”
What would have happened, had you not married me, Ammalu?”
“Another woman would gave become your wife and on the second day, dumped your desktop or laptop into the well at the back yard”
“Why on the second day and not on the first?”
“She had to assess whether you had any spring of romance within you or only fingers to move on the keyboard. Next day, it would have been obvious to her that you didn’t need a woman but only a computer or a book rack , as a life partner partner”
“You didn’t throw my computer and book rack into the well?”
“I didn’t. It took two days for me to study you. By that time, I realized that your bluff stories, oral and in writing, captivated me. Romance or no romance, I decided to stay”
“How do you like this night lamp, I bought for you, SP? It is cute”
“It is not cute. It us cruel. It is scaring with its shallow eyes and sharp mustache. Remove it please. I don’t want a night watch man inside my bedroom. Your next attempt to invade my privacy could be a CCTV camera!”
“That is expensive. You don’t know how intelligent my pussy cat is. The moment you lift the phone or press a mobile number, it will send a ring sound in my bedroom”
” SP, Is this the age for you to whistle from behind, when a couple enjoy their evening walk ahead?”
“That woman is my wife! I wanted to kick her but my arthritic leg refused to cooperate. Whistling was the least I could do by way of protest”
“Kicking I did and pushed her towards her husband.
And she is Ammini. I’m your wife”
“What a confusion my cataract created!
Sorry, Ammalu. But, tell me, with your arthritic leg how did you manage to kick and push her to the front?”
“When another woman walks along with her husband, whether a classmate or a colleague or whoever it be, a wife’s fist, hand, keg, tongue, all parts forget their own problems and act as one to punish the culprits”
“Did you Say ‘ culprits’ ? You would not have. It would gave been a slip of your tongue”
“I did say ‘culprits’. The first one got her punishment and the second one will receive his due, when we are back home”
“Ammalu, a love letter, I had sent to my college mate has come back today, duly acknowledged, approved. I’m elated”
“I too. She was so gracious to add a note, ‘sorry for the delay'”
“Better late than never. Isn’t it ? But, how did you know what she wrote?”
“I had asked the postman to show me all your returned -love letters, before delivering to you”
“When is your next visit to your mom’s house, Ammalu?”
“Whenever you are at home for about 2/3 hrs. so that I don’t need to lock the house”
“In between, I might get an urgent call and leave. Better have a duplicate key always with you”
“No need. I have remote sensor in my cell phone, to keep a watch on your movement”
———————————— ——
“When I met you for the first time Ammalu, you were a nail- biting, needle-smiling, nickers-wearing, naughty girl, hiding behind the door. Now, out of fear, I’m hiding behind the door, when you enter the house”
“For the sake of rhyme, you made me a ‘nickers- wearing’ girl. One more rhyming word, one more singing, one more boastful blab,you will see a BadrakAli and not me, before you”
“Too many ‘one mores’. Why can’t I have friendship with one more lady, Ammalu?”
“If you want you have one more woman as your wife, but no friendship business”
“OMG! Two BadrakAlies under one roof!”
Cartoon courtesy: RamKi
Ammalu, why don’t you sing a song to put me to sleep”
“Which song, ‘Baja Govindam, Baja Govindam?”
“You fancy female, fit to live only before the fourteenth century, that song is sung before someone goes into permanent sleep!
Sing a dreamy song on the silver winged angels, floating dreamily on silver clouds in a moonlit night!”
“I can, but there is a problem. All angels are females and instead of slipping into sleep, you will spring from your bed towards the telephone!”

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