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Ammalu is always right

“Congrats, Old man, for becoming thatha again. You are no more a child or an young man. Grand pa for six, grand uncle for many more, you are the patriarch of a big family. Behave fitting to your status. your world is expanding and we all expect a more matured, seasoned behavior from you”
“You have a point, Ammalu. Give me time till evening. I will buy a walk stick and easy chair. In the meantime you press my angavastram and call Ammini, Paru, Parukutty and others classmates and former colleagues for the group photo. The photographer with a moving camera can be here by after RahukAlam”
“They are not our family. Why you want them for the group photo?”
“Didn’t you say just now,’your world is expanding’?
How’ll it expand without my friends?”
“You are a gone case, SP. You are not fit to age. You are not fit to be a grandpa”
“But, I have already”
“That is because of me”
“Ammalu, I love you not because your are a cine star but you serve me good food, in time, though you scold me at times”
“You love me- I’m interested only in that part. The rest is your usual junk stuff”
AMmalu, why don’t you sing a song to put me to sleep”
“Which song, ‘Baja Govindam, Baja Govindam?”
“You fancy female, fit to live only before the fourteenth century, that song is sung before someone goes into permanent sleep!
Sing a dreamy song on the silver winged angels, floating dreamily on silver clouds in a moonlit night!”
“I can, but there is a problem. All angels are females and instead of slipping into sleep, you will spring from your bed towards the telephone!”
What would have happened, had you not married me, Ammalu?”
“Another woman would have become your wife and on the second day, dumped your desktop or laptop into the well at the back yard”
“Why on the second day and not on the first?”
“She had to assess whether you had any spring of romance within you or only fingers to move on the keyboard. Next day, it would have been obvious to her that you didn’t need a woman but only a computer or a book rack , as a life partner partner”
“You didn’t throw my computer and book rack into the well?”
“I didn’t. It took two days for me to study you. By that time, I realized that your bluff stories, oral and in writing, captivated me. Romance or no romance, I decided to stay”
“SP, Is this the age for you to whistle from behind, when a couple enjoy their evening walk ahead?”
“That woman is my wife! I wanted to kick her but my arthritic leg refused to cooperate. Whistling was the least I could do by way of protest”
“Kicking I did and pushed her towards her husband.
And she is Ammini. I’m your wife”
“What a confusion my cataract created!
Sorry, Ammalu. But, tell me, with your arthritic leg how did you manage to kick and push her to the front?”
“When another woman walks along with her husband, whether a classmate or a colleague or whoever it be, a wife’s fist, hand, keg, tongue, all parts forget their own problems and act as one to punish the culprits”
“Did you Say ‘ culprits’ ? You would not have. It would gave been a slip of your tongue”
“I did say ‘culprits’. The first one got her punishment and the second one will receive his due, when we are back home”
“When is your next visit to your mom’s house, Ammalu?”
“Whenever you are at home for about 2/3 hrs. so that I don’t need to lock the house”
“In between, I might get an urgent call and leave. Better have a duplicate key always with you”
“No need. I have remote sensor in my cell phone, to keep a watch on your movement”
“Ammalu, indict me if you like, for ignoring my precious mother in law for gifting a more precious gift to me, some fifty years ago. Suggest a suitable return gift to match the quality of her gift and quantity of my guilt in delaying my thanks giving.
Remember the ‘Thanks Giving’ day is approaching”
“Buy a black board and a box full chalk pieces. Let her spend the rest of her life drawing your picture and reminiscing on your activities and exploring reasons as to where she went wrong in choosing you as a partner for her precious daughter”

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