Category: A10 — AMMULU STORIES AND OTHER FUN FOUNTAINS

‘Ammalu, I won’t demand that you take appointment to meet me, but it would be nice if you could knock my door and enter’

‘Do you knock the door of my heart every time you enter?’

‘Oh,Oh,  my beloved wife, what a poetic response! I surrender totally before you.  How can I serve you for all the love and affection you shower on me? Waiting for your order’

‘Go to bed now and knock my door tomorrow morning for coffee’

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‘Ammalu, I’m a thousand watts lamp. How can I tolerate utter darkness right in front of me?’

‘Verify your wattage, please. I can’t be  ‘utter’ darkness! I have a serious doubt thar the first digit of your wattage, would have melted away, when I came near you’ 

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‘Everyone has some problems or other. For a friend, his heart, for another kidney, for me, my wife, I didn’t say this Ammalu, a friend said so’

‘Whether you said that or your friend said, I’m not bothered.

As far as I’m concerned I  don’t have any problems though I have the most problematic husband in the world’

Ammalu, husband is always husband and his position is on the top. Wife is always wife and her position is always under’

‘SP, I’m struggling to maintain my position on my own legs and you are bargaining for your position on the top!’

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Ammalu, are you my face or my heart? As you talk non stop, I will say, you’re my heart’

‘I will say I’m your face as you see every friend of mine as your friend’ 

‘Ammalu when you talk to people who matters, observe some manners’

‘People who matters, males or females?’

‘Males’

‘I don’t talk to any males’

‘You do talk to me’

‘I don’t. I only scream at you when your talk becomes a prolonged labour pain without getting pregnant’

‘Ammalu, don’t you think that old age is too late to correct a bad habit, developed since one’s young days? You may perhaps like to know who that gentleman is?’ 

‘No, Not at all. I’m not interested in knowing him. I want to know who is that idiotic woman, who didn’t nip her husband’s bad habit on the very first day they met’.

‘But, you couldn’t correct my bad habit’

‘Yours is a habit. Who can correct that? Can I change the shape of your nose or shade of your skin?’

‘Ammalu, I’m signing off from our relationship’

‘What does it mean ?’

‘I’m going away from you’

‘’Why your signature for that? . Come back soon. I’m making 

oninon pakoda for evening tea’

‘No, Not going’

‘Onion pakoda is more valuable than your signature! That is why I’m taking charge of your bank cheque books. Pl. sign in this letter to the bank’

‘Ammalu, signing off is different from signing. You don’t know’

‘I do know. That was why I gave you ‘off’ and  ‘sign’ I take’

‘With due  respects to your mother, I don’t hesitate to make a comment: she would have given birth to a smarter girl’

‘SP, she wanted to. But, I objected. I told her, ‘mom, I want to marry only a man of average intelligence. Don’t give birth to a smarter girl’.  

She agreed. I love my mom’

‘Time is not in my favor. Nor age, wife or children. Only thing in my favor is sleep’

‘Sleep well’

‘Even that, I can’t. Wife shares my bed’

‘You said, she is not in your favor’

‘She is not. That is why she doesn’t sleep in her room’

‘Bed bugs there in her room?’

‘No. I have a habit of humming love songs in sleep. She enjoys hearing  it’

‘At 80 plus, if you are humming love songs in sleep, even gods and angels are in your favor’

‘Ammalu, see this  ad. A woman of 50 plus is seeking a long term relationship with men of 60 plus. What does ‘long term relationship’ means?’

‘I will try to explain. Take you as an example. You can see me clearly when I’m close to you. When I enter from outside you assume that I am Paru, Parukutty or any other friend but not me. She is looking for a man who can identify her from a distance too’

‘But, Why she used the word ‘relationship’ ? She could have, instead,  said, ‘looking for a husband’?’

‘She might be already having a husband like you, with the sight problem’

‘Ammalu, may I seek your support for a long desire itching deep inside my mind?’

‘Sorry SP. I am helpless if the itching is inside. And you say, it is deep inside. If it is outside, show me the actual location. I shall try to do something ‘

‘Ammalu, you haven’t understood what I meant by itching.’

‘That much understanding is enough for our age’

‘Ammalu, don’t stand in my way. Let me fly like a butterfly and enjoy the beauty of the sky’.

‘I won’t. Go up. Enjoy the sky but don’t sit on flowers. Flowers contain honey. Honey contains sugar’

‘As well I can sit at home looking at your shrunken face!’

‘Ideal for your age. My face is honey -free’

‘But, you’re my honey, Ammalu !‘

‘Wah! What a butterfly you’re SP!. Now, you know why I’m not allowing you to fly up but not sit on flowers’