Shivam Diaries

Author: shivam

  • कलये श्री कार्तिकेयं- kalaye śrī kārtikeyaṁ

     
    P:
    कलये श्री कार्तिकेयं करुणापूर्ण गाङ्गेयं
    കലയേ  ശ്രി കാര്തികേയം കരുണാ പൂര്‍ണ  ഗാംഗേയം
    kalaye śrī kārtikeyaṁ karuṇāpūrṇa gāṅgeyaṁ
     
    AP:
    शरवणभवं भवदुरित तारणपोतं मयूरवाहनं षडाननं गजाननानुजं
    ശരവണഭവം, ഭവ ദുരിത താരണപോതം, മയൂരവാഹനം, ഷഡാനനം , ഗജാനനാനുജം            ((കലയേ  ശ്രി കാര്തികേയം)

    Sarvanabhavam, bhavaduritha thaaranapotham, mayooravaahanam, shadananam, Gajananujam      (Kalyea)

    C1:
    अमरसञ्चय सेनापतिं वल्लीदेवसेनापतिं भक्तचिदानन्द मतिं बालसुब्रह्मण्यं
    അമരസഞ്ചയ സേനാപതിം, വല്ലീദേവസേനാപതിം, ഭക്ത ചിദാനന്ദ മതിം, ബാലസുബ്ര മണ്യം
    Amarasamchaya senapathim, valleedevasena pathim, bakthachidananda madhim, Baalasubhramaniam (Kalyea)
    C 2-
     
    SakalasAswatha jnAna Viyath GangApravAham,
    SakalasAswathaiswarya pradam, Guham, Kumaram.
    udayasooryasamkAsa vadanam, satrusamhAra nipunam,
    samkaree putram Sugunam, Saswatham, Skantham      Kalayae

    അമരസഞ്ചയ സേനാപതിം,  വല്ലീദേവസേനാപതിം,  ഭക്ത ചിദാനന്ദ മതിം, ബാലസുബ്ര മണ്യം     (കലയേ  ശ്രി കാര്തികേയം)
    Amarasamchaya senapathim, valleedevasena pathim, bakthachidananda madhim, Baalasubhramaniam    (Kalyea)
    A bouquet of thanks     :

    My thanks to Brahmasrees K.V. Anantharaman, V.K.Raman and
    Ramachander for their support and blessings.
    ————————————————————–
     
    Music set and sung by sri. VKR
    kala…wma    yE sr 
    sperinkulam
      

  • Some mundane matters

    — Now that the dust and din created by our discussion and mud-throwing on sagotra weddings,sandhya vandanam and other substantial subjects have settled down, shall we discuss some mundane issues, helpful for our life in this world not necessarily for the one beyond that?.

    I am listing a few topics, which comes to my mind voluntarily and it is for my respected friends in this group to substantiate, supplement, discard or dissociate from all or any of these.I am only outlining the thoughts and initiate the discussion:
    1. Self employment for our community men and women,though may not be exclusively but substantially;
    Opening business establishments, in small and large scales, individually or in groups,with or without the support from our Associations,matoms,samjams etc.
    1a. Small scale–schools,shops, hotels, vegetable out lets,catering, cooked-food-delivering units, murukku,cheedai, appadam, vadaam, vattalmaking units, manjal podi,mulakai pody and other prouder preparation centers, dravyam for pooja, temple,madam etc. Vegetable gardens,
    flower gardens, vaazhai thottams, etc
    Health clinics, diagnostic centers, ambulance services and other health related units.
    1b. Big scale — Hospitals, professional colleges, housing complex ,star hotel contracts for public works etc, Huge amount is  required for this purpose but my feeling is that we will be able to mobilize fairly a good amount. The NRI s,specially those from the oil countries, might come forward, if we are able to produce a fool-proof production plan.
    2. Could we make use of the brahmin houses which are lying unused and some in dilapidated conditions in our ancestral villages so that their will be no necessity to dispose them of to other group people,which in long run, will deprive out temples of the festivals. poojas, bajan and other ‘paripaadikal’ peculiar-to our community ?. Villages are loosing past their originality and our villages have a very unique identity which has to be protected for the benefit of our children and theirs. Many Nair tharavadus, unfortunately, have been mercilessly pushed into oblivion by the onslaught of the multistory mansions.That should not happen to our agrahaaramsand our ponds! Let us assemble every year on a particular week in every village and preserve their pristine charisma. Once half-a dozen of us get down into the pond and start the cleaning process many locals will join. Some one can go to the nearby school or college and invite the students; they  will rush out enthusiastically.
    My friend sri.K.V.Anantha narayanan, in a recent well-written article, ventilated his grief on the plight of the poor brahmins assembled near the Kalpathy Viswanatha swamy temple ther, anxiously awaiting for the call for a free meal and a four-annas dakshinas.. there is not a pinch of exaggeration in that narration.I have witnessed that assembly of those unlucky ones in this world,whom others called then and surprisingly even now, as grabbers of benefits from the store-house of other communities. I have witnessed poor brahmins walking miles holding a pattakodai, to protect their head from the torching sun and pouring rains,just for a meal or four-annas dakshina.
    My ‘Agnimeele purohitam story,ends with my eyes swollen with tears of the plight of a vaadyar mami, known to me. I do lie but that story was the narration of my sad experience.Their were many mamies like that. Ask the senior in this group,if you do not trust my words.
    ‘Angam harepulaka booshanam” was nothing but Sankara Bagavatpaada’s shedding of tears from his swollen eyes. Cheenu said that he wept after reading my narration.How much Acharya would have wept at the plight of a helpless poor house -wife who wanted to pour a few grains of biksha into the cupped palm of the young sanyasi from the neighborhood, but had no means to do that.
    Our fathers, grand fathers and their elders have suffered a lot .Our mothers,grand mothers and their mothers have wept inconsolably due to poverty.During my stroll on the bank of the Thames or Rhine, while lousing through the avenues of fashion-flowering Paris or  lakes-laced Switzerland, or spending sleepless nights in my children’s house in Baltimore,Florida or New jersey I have been thinking about those unfortunate ancestors. The reason is personal- there was no enough money to pay for the fire-wood and varatties,  cow dung-cakes needed to burn the body of an ancestor of mine into ashes. Ignorance and superstition sucked the life of another ancestor when she was in the peak of her youth. You may call it the play of fate; I will not.
    On the sidelines–now you know why I become furious and loose my mental balance when undue praise about our past is paraded and uncharitable comments are made about our children who have crossed the seas to earn their bread and to channel some  support back home so that  the parched abdomen of their parents or grandparents receive some showers before they are torched again by the final fire.
    Let our children or their grand children go and settle in the Moon or Mars,if they want to and if they get an opportunity,if that will help them to escape from the pangs of starvation.

  • Crossing the compound wall

    part 1

    During my childhood, unmarried middle- aged men and elderly widowers, from Andhra and Tanjore districts used to come to our villages in search of brides from poor Brahmin families. My father sheltered one such person from Andhra and provided him free food, just for the sake of refurbishing his Telugu, learned during his young days in the Kadappa districts. I was told that bending their head down and holding it with their hands, parents of teenage girls remaining unmarried, used to curse their destiny and moan, ‘thalayai thookki nadakkamaudiyallaye”  തലയയ്‌  തൂക്കി നടക്ക മുടിയലയെ”   I cannot walk on the street keeping my head erect “. Pre-puberty weddings were the order of the day and perhaps the dictate of the religious law-books too, I do not know. Education or employment was not girls’  priority but the marriage was. ‘Who will look after my daughter, when I am out of the scene?” was the parents’ worry. A genuine one in deed.
    When such parents were not able to find grooms with age-computability for their daughters, dumped them, with a heavy heart on widowers or from outside their state or province, speaking a different language, with or without children. Horoscopes matching, sagotra thiraskaram, koottu desai, kalasarpadosham, nakshthra porutham, yoniporutham, all poruthams, comparabilities were there except for a very minor incompatability- the bride was younger to her man by twenty or thirty  years! Mostly the men were cooks, vaadyars, gumasthas, petty clerks or without any regular income. The girls, mostly in their teens or even younger, were too young to understand the implications of marrying a man of her father’s age or even elder and even if they were aware of, had little say in the matter.
    വിധി വിഹിത മേവനും ലംഖിട്ച്ചു കൂടുമോ?
    Who can  challenge the Fate!
    That ready-made card of consolation was there for every one to pocket and find peace.
    Anyway, the family prestige was saved, the society was happy the girl enters the small house where she had to spend the rest of her life, a house full of old people, young children, one or two cows, lot of pooja vessels etc.etc.to be taken care of by her. The person who is sharing her bed today,is the one whom she used to call athai, athimbar, ammanji or an entirely an unknown man speaking an unknown language, from a place unheard of .
    However, the inborn inspiration, unique to women, to adapt to the new environment,
    awakes in her and she adjusts quickly to the new way of life and the new people and by her silent observation and smart decisions and actions, again unique to women, she becomes the center of action and attraction, a granite pillar of strength to the family. Her influence slowly spreads to the neighbor hood too, She has started wearing the customary 9 yards saries, stands behind her husband holding the sacred darbahi while he performes the monthly, annually, or more frequent rites and rituals, prepares twenty varieties of food,with her clean hand, simultaneously, pounding, roasting,mixing,frying different ingredients,faithfully serves the Brahmans,guests and eats late after feeding every one in the family. She always gets up first, sleeps last and while awake, keeps on attending to others’ needs.Whatever be the provocations from within or out, she does not allow her benign smile to fade from her face  She had thus played her role in making those in the sky and below it, happy. Her  own happiness was not an issue at all and nobody except her own mother, if she were alive, used to worry, mostly alone and some time with her husband.
    The parents, if their house was far and in another province, used to visit their daughter’s house only on very rare occasions. They hardly communicated with their offspring but always carried their love concealed in the depth of their hearts. On the rare occasions when they met, the mother used to inquire in privacy, ‘hope everything is fine?” ‘Ennamma soukiyama iruukkiya?”  എന്നാമ്മാ, സൌക്യമായിരുക്കായാ ?” If she replies, ‘Ov, namma irukken amma; nee kavalai pedathe, appakkum chollu’.ഓവ് നന്നൈരുക്കെന്‍ അമ്മാ നീ കവലയ്‌ പാടാതെ; അപ്പാക്കിട്ടേം ചൊല്ല്”, the mother returns home happily and convey the message to every one back in her house and village. If the reply is,’oh, nannairukken’,ഓവ് നന്നൈരുക്കെന്‍, I am alright”,  the mother weeps, covering her face with her sari after returning home, in the privacy of her bed room.
    Only a daughter and only a mother can understand that language,.
    The daughter lives for many more years, after serving and seeing off her husband and many others in the family.When she leaves for her eternal in-law’ place, where age or language,wealth or wisdom hardly matters, the young and old in the house and village weeps, the Brahmins, who were served several sumptuous doses of food by her, bows their head and cover their face with their angavastram, upper cloth, to conceal the surging tears. The neighbors who were benefited by her words of wisdom and consolation, sit and sob at  her feet.  The servant maids, the village barber, the washer woman,the tree-climber, the wood-cutter, the cows and crows – every living thing, who had eaten and drank from her hands, moans her loss.
    They lost, no doubt. But did she loose or gain in death?
    “ജീവിച്ച്ചിടുന്നു  മ്രിതിയാല്‍ ചിലര്‍, ചെത്ത് കൊണ്ട് ജീവിക്കയാണ് പലര്‍ മൃത്യുവില്‍ ഞാന്‍ മരിക്കാ.”  Mahakavi G.Sankara kurup
    “Jeevichidunnu mrithiyaal chilar,
    chethukondu jeevikkayanu palar,
    mrityuvil jnan marikka”
    Some live by dying, for many, living is dying. I will not die in death.
    You will see one such ‘athai’ walking among us, if you happen to bother to read my Pitchumani story.
    Ocala, Florida
    02 June 2010
    ————————————————–

    part 2
    Some 30/40 years ago, when school education and higher studies gained momentum among our girls,, there was a sudden awareness of a living pattern  different from the one they are familiar with in their villages. You will not believe that in my own case, I was ashamed to realize when I visited the houses of Nair college mates, that there were no good furniture in my own house, though our economic status was higher than theirs. In those days pattar houses hardly had any  furniture. One of my dreams then was to buy costly sofas when I have my own house. I have an own house for the past 40 years but I am yet to think of buying a sofa set! So perceptions change when time moves on.
    So the exposure to an entirely new style of life around, away from the Ekadashi, pradosham,kovil,kolam surroundings, invoked in the yet-to-settle young minds, the thoughts of crossing the fence even at the cost of foregoing the affection and attachment of their parents and home where they were born and which affectionately nourished them till then. It was the result of an instant impulse, rather than a deep thinking about the future,in many cases,that triggered the monkey in their mind and you know what happens when monkeys and elephants go amuck! Some of our girls and boys looked at the opposite ones, as if they were seeing the full-moon for the first time, landed in their cool hands and then in their hot beds.
    As usual, after the initial wailing and weeping helplessly,the parents tried to forget what they called the treachery of their offspring and wanted to forgo them. Blood undoubtedly, is thicker than water and the goats of gossip always prefer fresh fodder to munch.The mother goes to see her first grand child, though hesitantly, with or without her husband. Time, tragic or auspicious events in the family and several other happenings reunite and when the grand children are grown to adulthood, the old story is blissfully forgotten.
    It is not that all such marriages were a story of success or failure. Marriages, arranged by parents or self-arranged, become a complex issue in some cases and there are several contributing factors. It was a simple issue as long as the husband was the only bread-earner and his word was the law. The wife knew where her place was and mostly it was in the kitchen. Her union with the husband and his family was ordained by the Gods rather a gift from Him, which she preserved as a privileged person. She was proud of her position,though physically and mentally it was a trauma for some. Those days are gone for ever.
    It is not that all love marriages failed. Most of them did not in fact, thanks to the inbuilt tendency of our girls, to adjust to the changing environment. In my close circle, there were several such marriages and I give below my observation, purely personal, not meant to tarnish the image of our set-up or to influence your thinking.
    I write for my satisfaction to express my views and not to preach.
    At least in two cases which I remember, the girls crossed the fencing due to the hostile environment at home. The fathers were irresponsible drunkards,mothers meek house-wives ill treated by their wayward husbands, tolerated them without protest or insisting on their rights or authority in the family. The fear that their father will never be able to find a suitable partner from their own community which will not come forward to accept the daughter of a worthless vagabond, could be one of the reasons for the girls to migrate into another caste or religion. There were protests from the boys’ side too but in due course things became smoother and they are continuing as husbands and wife, children growing up well.There would have been a lot of adjustment problems en route and let us not worry about them now as the offspring are looking for full-moons either in their own garden or beyond the fencing!
    Now the things are different. Both the boys and girls do not jump over the compound walls unless they are certain that the crossing is worth and there is a good pasture-land and not deserts or vacant lands on the other side. They discuss thread bare the problems bound to arise,even to the extend of naming their offspring!.
    I attended half a dozen marriages before coming to US. Three girls were from rich thiyya communities, who met their partners in the University library or working place. The boys were from orthodox Iyer/Iyengar families,the boys were doctors or engineers or finance managers,their parents including some very old ladies attended the wedding, pure vegetable meals prepared by Uduppi brahmins were provided. So, I hardly noticed any difference-no,that is not a correct statement.- the girls were dark in complexion but it was difficult to notice their skin colour unless your eyes are as sharp as mine, since they were covered with dazzling gold ornaments head to toe, and today’s gold rate is 19,ooo and odd.per 10 gm!
    It is not correct to say that our boys and girls are grabbed from the other side as our stock is better and theirs are of an inferior quality. if you can set aside for a moment your varnasrama dharma criteria of superiority of our children, the partners they select are matching in education, intelligence or income. Otherwise our children would not have chosen them. And another thing I would like to tell my friends is, if your son or daughter has selected a partner from other community,You need not bend your head,put a thorthumundu over it and sit on your thinnai. It is not your fault; it has nothing to do with your way of upbringing them. My children woke up from their cradle hearing the sound of my Rudra-Chamaka recitation or crinkling sound of my harati bells but today they neither do harati nor wait for an young sumangali to come from the opposite side, to take their car out of the shed. My friend sitting in Chennai, enjoying a mouthful of Panthalam vettalai can afford that but not mine or your children. Even in India it is not possible.
    One more thing I would like to remind you is that just as we have reservation to accept boys or girls from other communities,their parents too have objections. I have spoken to many parents and found that given an option, they would like to have the alliance within their own community. Some thirty years ago, I went to Kottayam to attend an intercaste marriage. The granny of the boy was almost in tears,when she hugged me with a haggard face, swallowed her saliva, addressed me as  ‘Atcho!” (It is still a mystery for me why she called me so ) and mentioned in a pathetically stammering voice that she tried to stop this wedding but could not, as her grand son was adamant .
    “‘will she have the same feeling as I do, while lighting candles in front of Yeshu? Will she have the same feeling as I do, when she covers the head before prayers?’
    Over an year ago, one boy related to me married a Gowder girl.The Gowder took me aside ( I don’t know why the parents are always catching me!)  and explained how hard he tried to persuade the girl to forget the boy.the women-folk too were against it. But the marriage took place. The Gowder was happy because, while taking leave of him, I gifted him a bunch of Guntur suruttu. I was also happy as I could weave a story, apart from sharing the happiness of the couple, that I did attend their wedding despite some inconveniences .
    Enjoy the story,” call me to sing a kathakali song” in the below given link:

    Call me to sing a Kathakali song


    Love and regards,
    sperinkulam
    Ocala, Florida
    03 June 2010
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    ————————————————————————————-
    Comments
    Pattars- their faces and phrases –contd– chapter 4‏
    From:iyer123@yahoogroups.com on behalf of shanti subra (shantisubra@gmail.com)
    Sent:04 June 2010 04:16AM
    To:Sivasubramanian Perinkulam (sivaratna@hotmail.com); Iyer123 (iyer123@yahoogroups.com)
    Dear Sivasubramanian ji
    Excellent writing.  Extremely saddned to know  about the sorry state and the plight of erstwhile girls/ladies of brahmin household.  It was a curse to be born as a FEMALE in the MALE dominated brahmin community two generations up.
    The ones who raised the topic of Brahmin boys not getting suitable brides or girls marrying outside the community which makes rounds for sometime now in the forum wil read this?
    Now when the Female try to over come the many curses put on them by the yester year Males thru education and awareness, the MALEs who no more can over power poor FEMALES, now cry in silence to get a Wife, a Daughter-in-law.  The Egoistic MALES could not accept this down turn.  So they put the blame on the prospective brides and their mothers that they ask “what is the salary etc?”  They could not digest this? They are bewildered.
    Hope the MALE bastion realises this no sooner than late and let their mothers change their outlook towards their DiLs and learn to treat them well if their sons ever get a female partner.
    Kind Regards
    Shanti

  • The saint of Kanchi

    Friends,
    Here is a set of pictures of a great saint whom we all revere. I had the fortune of falling under his feet, at a very young age, driven by my Bhavani periammai, who was a member of the matom for all practical purposes. When I grew, I used to keep regular contact with the mutt and came very close to joining the mutt as one of the assistants. ‘Antha kundamantiyeyum cherthukkungolda’ .The saint ordained.
    ‘Kuntamanties’ have no place in a mutt. The saint was saved,; the mutt was saved.
    In December, 1985 when my last son was born, I rushed to him.He was then camping at Kurnool, on the bank of the river Tungabadra. I have dipped my body in the cool waters of the Ganga, several time. But in Tungabadra, when I dipped this mortal coil into her cool embrace, I was not alone. The Gods and angels from the sky above also had a dip along with me.Or that was what I thought then.
    We go to a temple or to meet a saint or to have a dip in a holy river, only for the development of such thoughts with in us, may be for a moment, isn’t so ?
    മുപ്പത്തി മുക്കോടി ത്തെവാളും ഇന്ദ്രനും
    മുംമൂര്തി കളും വേദ ബ്രാഹ്മ ണാ ളും
    Many of you would have had that unique experience, if not in the Tungabadhra but in many other places. His very presence itself was dipping in a holy river or sitting near the flag-post, kodimaram of a big temple. A flag- post, he was undoubtedly. I do not have a picture of the saint in my house. But many time, he peers into my mind and withdraws quickly, as his vision become  blurred the moment he enters there.
    That is OK. He continues to love me. Distance does not decimate Love.
    Thanks to Raju anna of Singapore for sharing these rare pictures with us
    — On Fri, 28/5/10, Narayanan <savitha@pacific.net.sg> wrote:
    From: Narayanan <savitha@pacific.net.sg>
    Subject: Fw: Maha Periyavaa’s photos
    To: Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com
    Date: Friday, 28 May, 2010, 17:49
    courtesy of a kind friend
    sorry, size is unavoidable!
    —– Original Message —–
    From:
    Sent: Friday, May 28, 2010
    Subject: Maha Periyavaa’s photos
    JAYA    JAYA   SANKARA
    HARA   HARA  SANKARA
    Today is Kanchi Maha Periyavaa Jayanthi.
    He was born in this Anusha Nakshithiram of
    Vaikasi month 116 years ago (per Gregorian
    calendar it is May 20, 1894).
    Here is a collection of Maha Periyavaa’s photos
    – some seen often and others not so.
    Regards
    Srinivasan

  • Pattars- their faces and phrases

    Friends,

    This glossary of phrases generally used by pattars or Kerala Iyers of my generation, is a gift to my grand children, American citizens by birth, who might, when they grow up, peer into their past and look for the familiar usages of their grand- pas and grannies (this is only a hope). Neither prepared in an alphabetical order nor exhaustive , this hand -book also contains some narrations adapted purely for the purpose of forceful explanation of the meanings of the words. In that processes, it is natural, that you might come across some faces. If you like them, our progeny will like them better, because these faces will be new to them. As such, those are becoming a rare commodity. After 30 -40 years, they may not be there at all.
    Do not allow your hairs grow white, worrying whether my characters are real or fictitious. Just enjoy their company. This is just for FUN
    Love and regards,
    sperinkulam
    from New Jersey
    ———————————
    Alppam
    അല്‍പ്പം == A person lacking good senses, stupid, stingy, selfish .
    pattar to his wife:
    എന്ന അല്പ്പം ടീ അവന്‍ ! പത്ത് ചക്രം കടന്‍ കേട്ടാല്‍ പട്ടി കടിച്ച മാതിരി ഓടറാന്‍ -pattar to his wife- what a silly fellow he is ! I asked him for a loan of ten chakram and he runs away, as if he is bitten by a dog. (chakram= a royal currency in the erstwhile Travancore state, which bore a replica of the disc carried by the presiding deity of Thirvanantha puram , Sri.Anantha padmanabha )
    Mami to him ;
    poyum,poyum neenkal antha pattar kitte poyi kettale ! Athu MAHA alppam allavo?, why did you go and ask him? He is a very stingy fellow!
    പോയും പോയും നീങ്കള്‍ അന്ത പട്ടര്‍ കിട്ടെ പോയി കേട്ടെളേ !
    അത് മഹാ ആല്‍പം അല്ലവോ ?
    :
    അല്പത്തില്‍ അല്‍പ്പം മഹാ അല്‍പ്പം The stingiest of the century.! replies her beloved husband.
    ———————————————
    ASADU
    അശടു= not selfish or stingy but doesn’t know how to live in this world.
    Antha asadukku pozaikka theriyalai dee
    അന്ത അശടുക്ക് പോഴൈക്ക തെരിയലൈടീ == mami’s complaint about her son-in-law, a man of incorruptible integrity. i
    —————————————————-
    Avalam
    അവലം = spoiled, not worth mentioning, he or his family is in utter disarray
    Antha maamiyodu pon oruu avalam
    അന്ത മാമിയോടു പൊണ്ണ്‍ ഒരു അവലം = gossip about the neighbor’s daughter who married a boy from a different caste. that girl is useless.
    ———————————————-
    Arattai
    അരട്ടൈ = talkative but not harmful
    Antha arattai ennai pesa vittal thaane?
    അന്ത അരട്ടൈ എന്നൈ പേശ വിട്ടാല്‍ താനേ = the talkative mami about her newly acquired sambandhi
    He did not allow me to talk
    ———————————————– Ashaadapoothi
    ആഷാടപൂതി= doesn’t know what he talks about
    Appaavi
    അപ്പാവി = innocent
    Appaavi ponnukku aashadapoothi maappillai
    അപ്പാവി പൊണ്ണുക്കു ആഷാടപൂതി മാപ്പിള്ളൈ = public opinion on seeing me and Ammalu on the stage, for the first time, on our wedding.
    ——————————————————-
    Avasarakkudukkai
    അവസരക്കുടുക്കൈ= always in a hurry, doesn’t think before acting
    Comment of some old people in the family when my last son was born in the last quarter of my Government service! .What an irony? where was അവസരം in this case?
    ——————————————————————————
    Ambo enuu vittoottan
    അമ്പോ എന്ന് വിട്ടൂട്ടാന്‍ = left in lurch, acted irresponsibly.
    I was traveling in a KSRTC bus and midway, the driver of the bus coming from the opposite direction whispered in the ear of our bus driver and suddenly he declared that he was on strike, asked all the passengers to get down, the other driver also did the same thing and both the drivers, clipping their hands, go happily to have a single ( ie half-a-cup of chaaya or tea). Here my driver had അമ്പോ എന്ന് വിട്ടൂട്ടാന്‍ his passengers.The same with other driver too.
    I stop a lorry, plead with him, promise to give him thrice the value of the bus fair, sit in the seat next to the driver, reach Thiruvanthapuram, enjoying his silly jokes about his sexual-adventures, knowing well that those were nothing but a pack of undiluted lies, and making him enjoy three ‘singles’ along with pazham poritchathu ( banana fruits, deep fried in coconut oil) provided at my cost.
    on reaching home, with the pride of a lover in the legend, who reaches his wife’s palace, after crossing the turbulent river at midnight, with the support of a dead body assuming that it was a plank, I tell Ammalu with appropriate gestures and poetical words, about the travails of my journey .
    ” The driver,when heard about the flash- strike ordained by his labor union, അമ്പോ എന്ന് വിട്ടൂട്ടാന്‍, Where ? in a forest area. I walked and walked for miles and mails and reached a town where there were three lodges.I could have taken shelter in one of them. I didn’t do that. Why? I wanted to be with you this evening”
    Pleased with my exposition, proud and affection pushing her right hand to grab mine which she wanted to hold for sometime as a mark of gratitude but remembering that her mother is in see-able distance, she pulls her hand back but not the smile on her lips and chides me, ‘enough of this love-show’ porume, porum
    പോരുമേ പോരും , while her mind murmurs, ‘not enough’,’not enough’ പോരാത് പോരാത്.


    Like a farmer sowing his limited stock of seeds carefully, Ammalu uses her words sparingly but her mild and measured body movements are more vocal, if I may say so, than her words.

    ‘You liked this sari? ” My question.
    A mild monosyllable ‘um’ ഉം,means ‘it is so,so’ The same letter pronounced with clarity means it is OK and when accompanied by a smile on the face, suggests that she simply loves it..Instead of um’ ഉം’ she may sometime, respond with oh ഓ or a double oh ഓ,ഓdepending on the degree of agreement.

    അവന്‍ ഓഹോ ഇന്ന്‌ഇരുക്കാന്‍ = Avan oho innu iruuakn= he lives in luxuosry. പ്രമാദം prmaadam is another expression to extremity “palppayasam Pramadam ‘ പാല്‍പ്പായസം പ്രമാദം is simply great. ‘Athu enna pramadam ?-what is so big about it ? This is not the first time that the couple are fighting like a cat and a rat- eliyum, poochayum aattama എലിയും പൂച്ച യും ആട്ടമ Here pramadam is used to make a disparaging remark.

    When my father gets angry he never used to hit us. By rolling his eye balls and staring at us, if he says uhm, he has imparted the severe punishment more painful than twenty slashes. ‘uhm’ followed by the movement of his right fore finger is an order to get inside the house and I am inside it even at the expense of leaving my American girl-friend at the door step.But fortunately for her, it was Ammalu who accompanied me and she was his selection,without even having a chance for me to see her till we landed together on the marriage pandal.

    ‘Ohv!’ ഓഹ്വ് I left my umbrella in the train!” Don’t worry , it is older than your grandnie. ‘ ഓഹ്വ് I failed in Math.Who ever said that you will clear it?

    ഓ പോകട്ടുംഅമ്മാളു Oh, pokattum Ammalu, means leave him; after all, this is not the first time you have found him with another woman.    ഓ അമ്പട കേമ- Oh, ambada kema – don’t leave . He is acting smart; he deserves punishment.The word ‘ambhada’ reminds me its sibling ambadathan, a phrase often used by pattars.The Malyalam equivalent’ athrea ullu ‘ or the Tamil one ‘avalavu than’ or the telugu ‘anthe’ are less lustrous, when compared to our ambadathan, which generally means “that is the end of it’. If Ammalu says that, ” I am leaving for my appa’s house -nan enga appa aathukku poren ambadathan” അമ്പടത്താന്‍ means ambadathan; that is the end of it. Either I have to jump into the well at the back yard of the olavkkode house ( but that will not help as I know swimming ) or go to to Nithyanada’s ashram and ask for a piece of ocher or orange coulour cloth. But neither Nithyananda nor the ‘niguta’ (hidden ) video camera is there now.What is the purpose of going there. I can as well catch the next train to Tvm and continue my travelogue.
    Chapter  2.
    Before I start today’s upanyasam, let me clarify the doubt of my ‘cyber santhathi’,  Sowbaghyavathy Uma Subu from Abu Dhabi,  who always earn my ‘vayatherichal’ by writing to me what all delicious food she prepared , but not feeding me even once :

    “അപ്പാവിപൊണ്ണുക്കുആഷാടപൂതിമാപ്പിള്ളൈ ” Mama, What’s that meant for? Pls write in detail”.

    Appavi pon is an innocent girl, as I already explained. Ashadapoothi is someone who says ‘ha,ha, hu,hu’ but is a big zero. He doesn’t look smart nor  is he intelligent. He doesn’t know what  he is talking about. Just makes some sound. He is not well-dressed . He is not an idiot or misbehaved but doesn’t impresses  as  an intelligent guy. He is not a bad character. In fact he is a good guy. So much meaning is contained in that single word Ashatapoothi. You can shorten it to ആഷാഢം ‘aashatam’ and also say  അവന്‍ മഹാ  ആഷാഢം ആക്കും “avan maha aashatam aakkum  “


    Now, you may ask what is വയത്തെരിച്ചല്‍  vaiatheritherichall ?


       എരിച്ചല്‍ ‘Eritchal’ is burning , as you know . ‘ Vayatheritchal’ is burning in the stomach. Don’t worry – no ulcer or any other disorder. It is in fact, a  mild’ heart burn’ . In the above example it just shows my unhappiness that Uma  talks high about her preparations but doesn’t offer me; It as simple as that.  It is not an ‘eritchal’ at all.
    If  Ammalu says  that     എന്‍ വയറു എരിയറതു because our cook ate almost all the kozhakkatais , leaving just one or two  for us,  that again is a minor heartburn . But if she says that ‘envayar eriyarutu’ because she happened to see me smiling  at our neighbor, Ammini amma, who happened to enter  our garden to pick up a handful of coriander leaves, which happened to be not available in her court yard, then it becomes quite a serious matter and a bomb can explode anytime, in my house as well as in my neighbor’s. The  karukappalai chedikku kashtakalam, paavam.  ‘Oru ponnodu vayathu erinchal kottikkinda , nee nanna irukka maattaai ‘ if a mother curses an youngster who is after her daughter, his life is doomed. He will become a husband soon and pay the penalty all the husbands pay for.
    ‘Enthukku engalai ippadi karichukottareer ? I hear someone asking. കരിട്ച്ചുകൊട്ടറീര്‍ Karitchukottarathu is saying words which are not very pleasing to ears.പൊരിട്ച്ചുകൊട്ടറത് Poritchukottarathu you know surely, if you are a husband, like me. That is  പൊരിച്ചു കൊട്ടറതു or talitchukootarathu, the last stage of cooking where you fry kaduku, molagai, uzunhtu paruppu, in hot oil to add to the sambar. Once I added that to koottu and got the thittu.
    ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
    My Colombian adventure from Palakkad to TVM continues:

    I offered the driver, another ‘single’ , with pazamporitchathu to the driver prompting him to drive fast , but he raised both his hands above his head, coupled the palms and screamed     എന്‍റെ  പരക്കാട്ടില്‍ അമ്മെ ente parakkaattil amme ‘, fidgeted, gave a nice massage to his belly and catapulted to his seat. But the vehicle refused to move an inch. The mao-maoists who attacked us had punctured the wheel tires before flying.

    ‘Mao-maoists,  who are they ?’ enquired my MIL, who had serious doubt from the beginning about the  percentage of truth in my narration.
    ‘Mao-maoists are those who, wearing the uniform of Maos out of utter starvation, attack people for some food and run away when their hunger is quenched to some extent ” I clarify , “once they get some food to munch ‘mao,mao’, they escape. But I have fought with real Maoists too ” I boast glancing at my MIL thorough the corner of an eye, “even now I can fight with anyone”

    “Sivane ennu lorrykkulle eri paduthukka thane venum” ” ശിവനേഎന്നു ലോറിക്ക് ഉള്ളെ പടുത്ത്ക്ക താനെ വേണും ?–    Mother
    How could he have slept inside the lorry, Amma?” It was stinking, illaiya innu? Neenkal chollunkol”,–ഇല്ലൈയാ ഇന്ന്‌    നീങ്കള്‍ ചോല്ലു ങ്കോ” –Daughter.‘Sivanae ennu’ would have been invented by someone who went to a Siva temple hoping to get some food but was disappointed. He would have slept in a corner of the temple, saying, ‘Siva, Siva ‘ .


    ‘Innu’, enna innu, ongalaithan    , these words, a husband hear a hundred times.That is how ammalu and all ‘alus’ of her generation used to address their husbands. That was how their grannies and grannies’ grannies would have addressed their honeys. Surprisingly, my DIL, Meghana also calls her husband the same centuries-old way, though she is modern and employed. She is simply following the foot- steps of her mother or  MIL .The belief was that if the wife addresses her husband by name, his longevity would be affected! The real reason could be the boys were named after their grand parents and it was considered disrespectful to use elders’ name by the DIL s. More over our names are too long and they get shortened to Venki, Chuppai etc. and the harmless ‘enna’ becomes handy and polished than the crude Chuppai or Chuppani. I would have ran away from the house if Ammalu had called once Chuppai or Chuppani or Chupprai. Subbudu is less rude.

    “Again walked for an hour, caught hold of a bullock cart , then a jutka, then an auto- somehow reached the  pazhavankadi pullair kovil, thanked the God for safely bringing me up to that point and took the short cut to the Sreekanteswaram temple.’Mappillai pulukarano samsayam ‘ MIL whispers behind the door, then soon comes out and proclaims,
    ” മാപ്പിള്ളയ് പമ്പര വിരുതന്‍ ആക്കും –mappillai is son- in -law ie me, pamparavirudhan= a clever guy.. Pamparam is top,the children play with, which rotates fast when released from the grip of a tight-rope, wrapped around it. Virudhan- a clever or smart man.പുളുകറത് pulukarathu is bluffing. Avan aanai pulukan aaum -means he is pakka -master bluffer. viruthan is also OK. But perattaruthu is harmful unlike pulukarathu – പെരട്ടറത് is cheating.

    “ഒമ്മോട് ഉരുട്ടും പെരട്ടും ഇങ്കെ വേണ്ടാ എന്നാ ?” Means, your nasty tricks won’t work here.
    .

    I continued my story without giving much importance for her utterance. ” Before I walked  ahead a few yards, I was stopped by a huge form, completely wrapped with a black cloth,head to toe, with only two openings for the eyes.

    Ammalu who was humming ഉം, ഉം’‘ so far scrambled to her seat, enmeshed by anxiety,held my shoulders with both her hands and exclaimed, opening her mouth so wide as she would have been forced by her father when she was a kid, for pouring an ounce of Castor-oil for clearing her bowls. , “Enna anyayam ennu!’  എന്ന അന്ന്യായം  ഇന്ന്‌ !

    While she was standing thus, her hands firmly on my shoulders, face opposite to mine, sari almost touching my knees, there enters, through the main door, which is always kept open, except at night when one goes to sleep, our neighbor Chami  pattar, raises his voice to a shrieking pitch and exclaims, ഇതെന്ന കൂത്ത്‌?,‘ ithu enna koothu? what is happening here,what am I seeing!, I can’t believe my eyes etc.
    ‘Koothu’ is a stage play. You would have heard of Chakyar koothu, mono act by Chakyar, theru koothu , street -play etc. it  attracts people. it is something interesting .
    ‘Ennak koothai kanteer inghe, Eakadasi brahmana! ?’ my MIL protested. ‘Eakadesi brahmanan is one who starves on theഏകാദശി Eakadasi day, for spiritual emancipation.. Nothing wrong in it . But some Brahmins starve just to enjoy the Dwadasi food better the next day in temples etc. ! This may not be true, but that is the intention behind the funny usage here!
    ‘Pattam pakalilae eppidi Appu on ponnodu kayyaiem pidichikkindu ?” ‘How can ‘Appu’, that is me, sit shamelessly here holding your daughter’s hand ? ”– Chami pattar wonders.
    “Appu alla kayyai pidichikkindirukkan. En ponnakkum avan kayyai pidichikkindirukkal. Avan aaru, theriyuma ? ‘Mangalyam thanthuna ennu manikotti thalikettina aambadyanakum.”
    This ‘ആമ്പടയാന്‍‘ is a unique title for pattar husbands. ആത്തുക്കാരര്‍ AAthukkararar is a more familiar word used by those in the villages adjoining Tamil Nadu. കണവര്‍ its equivalent in Tamil is not a familiar name among pattars.
    ”It is not Appu holding my daughter’s hand; it is she holding his hand, for your information and they are a married couple as per the sanction of sastarams” –MIL retorts.
    ഇതു കൊന്ജം അന്യായം താന്‍ ‘Ennavanalum paarukkutty ithu konjam anyayam thaan ‘  ന്യായം is justice and അന്യായം is injustice. But here the meaning is less stringent : ‘anyway, this is too much” Pattar says.
    When I see couples move around in public places rubbing their body, or scratching the bottoms here in US or in any western countries,  I used to remember this interesting dialogue.
    Chami pattars son and daughter- in- law enters; She is pregnant and struggles to climb the steps when her husband gives a helping hand.

     ” വീട്ടുക്ക് വീട് വാശല്‍ പ്പടി താന്‍Veettukku vedu vasal padi than ” ‘There are steps before every house’ is the literal meaning. The inner meaning is ‘such practices are common to all’. Obviously the father was not happy the way his son helped his wife’s hand to climb the steps.-
    Pattar asks his son, “what did that idicha pulli pattar tell you?”
    Puli is tamarind andഇടിച്ചപുളി idicha puli is well compressed tamarind block. Those who do not reveal their mind easily are called idichapuli
    The son keeps mum.

     ഒന് വായിലെ എന്നാ കൊഴക്ക ട്ടൈ യാ ‘On vaayilae enna kozakkattai ya ?” meaning is there a kozakkattai or sweet ball in your mouth, which prevents you talking ?
    Then pattar’s daughter in law comes forward and talks non-stop.
    ‘Nee oru ottai patram aakkum’ admonishes her husband. ഓട്ടൈ പാത്രം   Ottaipatram is a vessel with holes, which cannot hold water. Ottai kai is different. The one who is a spend-thrift is an ഓട്ടൈകൈ ottaikkai.

    ഓട്ടൈ വായ്   Ottai vai is the one who cannot keep secrets, You tell something to your neighbor with a specific warning to keep it secret, the next moment it has spread all over the village like a wild fire.
    ഒന്നോടു കയ്യും ഓട്ടൈ, വായും ഓട്ടൈOnnodu kayyum ottai,  vaayum ottai means you are a spend thrift and a loose talker too.

    വെടുക്ക് വെടുക്ക് ‘vedukku vedukkunnu chollathunko’ reacts the DIL.

    വെടുക്ക് വെടുക്ക് Vedukku vedukkunnu is speak instantly without thinking. ‘parukkutti nan poren inke ശന്‍ടെ   മന്‍ടെ ഒടെയറതു sandai mandai odaiyaratu- I am leaving; they are quarreling
    sandai is quarrel,  mandai is head . Neenkal eppidiyo ponkkal enakku enna innaikku chethal nalaikku pathu.  he curses the kin before leaving. Innakku chethal nalaikku pathu is if I die today tomorrow is the tenth day. This shows his disgust.
    ട്ച്ചേ ട്ച്ചേ tche.tche, don’t say that’ MIL consoles him .
    ട്ച്ചേ ട്ച്ചേ ,ച്ചു ച്ചു, ച്ചോ ച്ചോ  are sounds to reveals intense feeling, in disgust or wonder. How do you translate such wonderful meaningful words to other languages ?

    ട്ച്ചേ ട്ച്ചേ-you should not have done so.
    ച്ചോ-who slapped my child! etc
    Depending on the situation the above mono syllables may carry different meanings.
    You would have observed that most of these phrases are unique usages of kerala Iyers and belong neither to their original Tamil nor to  Malayalam of their adapted land. Like their olan, kalan, avail, erisseri and such food items, these phrases too have their own identity. During my school days , when my friends were mostly Malayalee boys, I did not like these usages.  Now after seeing many places and hearing several dialects, I want them to be  preserved as such as I am anxious to see that our village houses, with sloping tiled roofs, kootam, thinnai etc should also be preserved for the future generations.
    I know that I am asking for too much.
    Love and regards,
    sperinkulam,
    Baltimore,
    Dec 2, 2011

    Comments :
    Mama,
    Cyber santhathikku yennodu vahai oru “jai”…….
    Naanum antha nalla swabhavam copy pannalam yennu ninakkaren. Yenna sollarel? Anuvatham irukku yennu ninaikkiren 🙂
    Regards
    Kamesh

    Mama, you are really brilliant.  You still  living in those wonderful days, simple conversations  you had with Mami, Patti  and all that dear and not dear people you have met in your life isn’t it.  Keep sharing…I am enjoying all those dialogues like ‘Ummodu uruttum Perattum Inga venda, Mappalai Pambara viruthanakkum ellam vasichittu veeda renda polakkaren  inga. 

     

    Regards,

    UMA SUBU

    http://indiatempletour.blogspot.com/

    ————————————————————–



    I was 9 or 11, when my athai came from Kapisthalam, in Tanjore district, to attend my upanayanam.. While she was in her early teens or even earlier, went their, after her wedding and was coming to her pornadham for the first time after several years. She spoke in such a pure Tamil that I could not follow her talk. It was so different from the language I was used to.”Aaaaanaanthooh” she used  to address her brother, whose name was Ananthan. My patti, was so vexed with her usage that she chided her daughter, ” Pitchu, on kongathamizhai Thanjavoorilaeyae vetchukko”. And remember that was exactly the language patti was using before migrating to Palakkad ! Mixing with Malabar Malayalam in Palakkad and ‘thekkan’ bashai in the southern part of Kerala is understandable and perhaps unavoidable too. But subjugating to English to such an extend is in-explainable, especially when every other pattar was not a Government employee or employed under English-speaking men. We were the only group who allowed the intrusion and invasion of English into our mother tongue, right from those days.
     
    Here is an example of our English-eroded Tamil :
     
    ‎“When, when timelae, whatever happeno, athu happanae happen” 
     
      In Thiruvananthapuram area, my mother’s maternal uncles, who were from Monkombu were talking mostly in ‘thekkan’ Malayalam. 
     
    Now let me share with you a typical Palkkadan patti dialogue, typical gossip: 
     
     
    “Ammalae, onkittae oru mukyamana kaariyam chollamaranthuponaen ; ippo chappittappothan ormai vandhathu”.

    Ammalae, I forgot to tell you one important news; I just remembered after eating.

    “Onakku chappattathanae ellam ormai varum, sari sollu”

    You will remember only when your belly is full, go ahead

    “Namma amminiyodu ponu kulichittu rendumaasam aatcham”

    Our Ammini’s daughter is carrying; I think it is the second month.

    “Athilae enna athisayam, avalukku kalyanam aayi maasam aaratchu illaya ?”

    What is there, she is married since six months.

    “Athalla Ammalae, ava aambadayan eppothavathu thaane aathukku varaan ?”

    Her husband is not coming home frequently

    “Usirulla aambadyan orukka vandhal porumade, paru. ithu theiryaatha onakku ?”

    Don’t you know that it is enough if a masculine husband visits her once ( for her to conceive ?)
     
    “Ennavo, amma. Antha pahavanukku velicham. Enakku onnumae theiyallai”.

    God alone knows, I am not able to understand anything.

    “Unakku onnum thaeriyathukka paru, pathu pethai ?”

    Did you deliver ten children without knowing anything ?
     
     

     അമ്മാളെ, ഒന്കിട്ടെ ഒരു മുക്കിയമാന കാരിയം ചോല്ല മറന്തുപോനെന്‍; ഇപ്പൊ ചാപ്പിട്ടപ്പോത്താന്‍ ഓര്‍മയ് വന്ത്തു 

    ഒനക്ക് ചാപ്പിട്ടാല്‍ത്താനെ ഒര്മഐ വരും ; ശരി ചൊല്ല് .

    നമ്മ അമ്മിണിയോടു പൊണ്‍ കുളിട്ച്ചിട്ടു രെണ്ട്‌ മാസം ആട്ചാം 

    അതിലെ എന്ന അതിശയം അവള്ക്ക് കല്യാണം ആയി ആറു മാസം ആട്ച്ചെ 

    അതല്ല അമ്മാളെ, അവ ആമ്പടയാന്‍ എപ്പോദാവത് താനെ ആത്തുക്ക് വര്രാന്‍

    ഉശിരുള്ള ആമ്പടയാന്‍ ഒരുക്കാ വന്താ പോരാതാ , ഇത് തെരിയാതാ നോക്ക് ?

    എന്നവോ അമ്മാ എനക്ക് ഒന്നുമേ തെരിയലൈ അന്ത പഹവാനുക്ക് വെളിട്ച്ചം 

    ഒനക്ക്‌ ഒന്നും തെരിയാധക്കാ പാറു, പത്തു പെത്തായ് ?

     
    Despite being drenched in poverty and other problems, our elders had a sense of humor which provided  them a warm jacket in their day to day life.

    Ocala,

    FloridaJan 7, 2012

    Comments

    From: venkyalu@yahoo.com
    Subject: Re: [Thatha_Patty] Pattars- their faces and phrases part 4
    To: sivaratna@hotmail.com

    ROMBA NANNA ERUTHUTHU PADIKKARATHUKKU.

  • Unlike his father

    After confirming from my son that he hasn’t t already chosen a girl for pairing, I started searching for one and within a day or two, located a girl  through the net, showed the profile to my son and when he conveyed his approval, sent his horoscope to the girl’s father with a note that I am prepared to accept his astrologer’s verdict as I am not keen on the horoscope- matching.

    He called me immediately and said,’ the girl’s star is the third from that of the boy’s and therefore—,”  he paused for a moment and continued ,” ‘my wife says…” .
    I intervened, “the counting is done from the star of the girl in which case there is stree ——deer——–rgham, I presume”
    He did not say ‘yes’ or ‘no’  but posed a question as to which part of Kerala we belong to.
    .
    ” The boy’s mother was from the south, me from the middle and the boy was born and raised in Hyderabad. You are free to decide his nativity” I told him.
    His wife was probably prompting him from behind ( I am not sure as there was no web camera connection ) and wanted some details about the boy,which I offered as below:
    “He did his engineering in Hyderabad, MS from the Massachusetts Institute and is now working for Vonage.  Unlike his father, he is intelligent, good looking, tall, and speaks truth always. Unlike his father again, who used to, during his young days, occasionally enjoy  a cigarette or two as well as a sip or two  of Italian wine in parties, the boy doesn’t smoke, drink or eat meat. Unlike his father once again, who stands before any vertical object which resembles an idol of worship, spends hours together praying and singing, this son of mine does not visit a temple nor has any pictures of the Gods in his room.He might perhaps change when a woman enters his life, as his elder brother has”…
    “I really like you and the way you talk”. He expressed his satisfaction.
    “Excuse me sir,” I interrupted, “you seems to have forgotten that the proposal is for my son “
    “Yes,I know, I know”  Thank God. He continued, ‘”my wife says that if your son’s star can be pushed a bit either to the front or  to the back– “

    ‘Extremely sorry, gentle man” I had to close the conversation,” My son is a straight- forward boy   and he may not agree to your proposal of shifting. And one more ‘unlike his father’,  the very last one, he has never pulled or pushed a girl while commuting in a crowded bus in Hyderabad “

    “Aren’t you the same ‘sagotram’ appearing with an ugly, arrogant face in the Iyer group?” His voice now become better audible and melodious.

    ‘Yes Sir, yes sir,three bags full!” I replied with equal enthusiasm in talking to a net friend.and continued. “‘But unlike his father’s Atchuth’s face is not.ugly or —-“

    He was not there to respond.  ‘Pahavaane Saranam!” May the God help our children to get suitable
    partners in life.
    In the meantime, Atchuth changed his mind and asked me to wait for an year before I start discussing about the star-shifting again. .”‘Age is in my favor.  Isn’t it so,dad ?” he quipped..

    ‘”It is, Atchu. you can afford to wait for two years” I said though hurriedly I wanted to add, “‘but your star—” I didn’t complete the sentence, but, instead, remarked,  partially shutting the eye lids and slowly lifting the head upwards, “Pahavaane Saranam !”
    Ocala, Florida
    May 24, 2010

  • A small push to a star

    imageAfter confirming from my son Atchu hat he had not already chosen a girl for pairing, I started searching for one and within a day or two, located a girl  through the net, showed the profile to my son and when he conveyed his approval, sent his horoscope to the girl’s father with a note that I was prepared to accept his astrologer’s verdict as  I was not keen on the horoscope- matching.
    He called me immediately and said,’ the girl’s star is the third from that of the boy’s and therefore— ,”  he paused for a moment and continued ,” ‘my wife says…” .
    I intervened, “the counting is done from the star of the girl in which case there is stree ——deer– ——rgham, I presume”
    He did not say ‘yes’ or ‘no’  but posed a question as to which part of Kerala we belong to.
    ” The boy’s mother was from the south, me from the middle and the boy was born and raised in Hyderabad. You are free to decide his nativity”.  I told him.
    His wife was probably prompting him from behind ( I am not sure as there was no web camera connection ) and wanted some details about the boy, which I offered as below:
    “He did his engineering in Hyderabad, MS from the Massachusetts and is now working for Vonage.  Unlike his father, he is intelligent, good looking, tall, and speaks truth always. Unlike his father again, who used to, during his young days, occasionally enjoy  a cigarette or two as well as a sip or two  of Italian wine in parties, the boy doesn’t smoke or drink . Unlike his father once again, who stands before any vertical object which resembles an idol of worship, spends hours together praying and singing, this son of mine does not visit a temple nor has any pictures of the Gods in his room”
    “Hasn’t got any likeness to his father?’”
    “He has. He doesn’t know cooking”
    “I really like you and the way you talk”. He expressed his satisfaction,” I’m sure that my wife too will like you”
    “Excuse me sir,” I interrupted, “you seems to have forgotten that the proposal is for my son ”
    “Yes,I know, I know”  He continued, “I forgot, thank God, you reminded me. My  wife says that if your son’s star can be pushed a bit either to the front or to the back– ”
    ‘Extremely sorry, gentle man,” I had to close the conversation, ” My son is a straight- forward type  and  he will not agree to your proposal of shifting the star. And one more ‘unlike his father’,  he has never pulled or pushed a girl while commuting in a crowded bus in Hyderabad.
    “Aren’t you Ammalu’s  arrogant husband with a flat nose?”  That voice was sweeter. I could guess that his madam there, had taken over.
    ‘Yes madam,” I replied, “unlike his father’s Atchuth’s nose is sharp”
    “Sir, I’m the girl’s mother. My husband doesn’t know what to talk and how to talk,” the voice was sweet but strong. Unlike him, I can talk well and handle people like you better. Shall I release more ‘unlinkes?’”
    “Oh, no madam. I’m convinced that you are capable of releasing anything”
    “Good. Ok. Let us talk business”.
    “Business?” I was taken back, but managed to say,”madam , marriage is a business? I thought it is a relationship, a sacred one”
    “Ok. I am prepared to come down. Can you arrange to push your son’s star this side or that side? If not, let us talk business”
    I handed over the phone to Ammalu.” You deal with her” I said.
    “NamaskAram! My husband can only write stories, not talk business. Shall we start? Ask your daughter to read one or two Ammalu stories and then decide whether she should become our daughter in law. If she is agreeable I’m ready for any of your conditions, including pushing the star. And, my decision is final in this house”
    There was no response. Ammalu turned to me and said,
    “Why did you waste your time talking to them, when they are not interested in doing business with us?”
    “Ammalu, business?” I asked.
    Ocala, Florida
    May 24, 2010

  • Sagotra marriages

    To: 4brahmins@yahoogroups.com; iyer123@yahoogroups.com; atchuth@gmail.com
    From: sivaratna@hotmail.com
    Date: Wed, 19 May 2010 18:35:33 +0530
    [Iyer123] Sagotra marriages

    Friends,
    To vehemently oppose the far and few sagotra marriages taking place in our iyer community and  confuse the parents who would like to consider such options for their children is nothing but throwing a monkey wrench into the works. Our children are already tied with several outdated ideas and  restrictions which stunted their growth and narrowed their vision. Instead of being led through the ‘rajamaargam’ the royal pathway of the great values of our scintillating past by removing the impurities accumulated during the long journey of the Ganges of our culture, we justify them just because our elders followed them, under entirely different circumstances.
    Things are changing fast. I was there to watch the launch of the latest space shuttle, Atlantis, on 14th of this month ,from the Kennedy space center. Six bold men were in that .They did not bother to verify whether it was Rahu Kalam or Gulika kalam when they entered, risking their life,  into that complicated machinery which will take them into space, millions of miles away from their home.Then why do we worry pacing the floor area between our kitchen and hall when our grandchild has to appear for a written and oral test for his LKG, at an inauspicious day,the time fixed by the son of a slug or snail ?
    മാറ്റുവിന്‍ ചട്ടങ്ങളെ നിങ്ങള്‍ നിങ്ങല്ലെകിലോ
    മാറ്റും അവകളീ  നിങ്ങളെത്താന്‍
    Roared Mahakavi Kumaran Assan
    If you don’t change those (outdated) rules, they will remove you( from the scene for ever)
    That is happening. We are already removed from the center scene. Because of our ‘touch- me- not’ attitude, our children are waiting with begging bowls in front of the education institutions, in front of job opportunities..They are bowing their heads because of our obstinacy.
    I am giving below my personal experience and I do not advocate that you follow this and acquire the anger of your ancestor and condemnation of the elders of this forum..
    My only daughter is married to a sagotra boy from a cultured Telugu Vaishnava family and they are living  happily,and I live with them now, thanks to the blessings of Guruvayoorappan and my ancestors including that great ancestor ‘Kousika’ from whom my daughter and son in law are believed to have originated.(wonder whether my Kousika thatha bothered to verify the gotram of Menaka before he fell into her cool,
    celestial arms ) There was no need for me to take even medical opinion because iyer-iyenagar mixing would have never happened in the past ruling out the possibility of problems due to Consanguinity.
    Thirty years ago,I performed the wedding of my last sister with another iyengar boy and now there are three iyengar samabandies for me projecting prominent namams on religious functions. All those mix-up have produced well behaving,well educated decent offspring.
    We are closing more doors and windows instead of opening them to the airy and flowery garden outside. Varnasrama dharma is dead and gone, why are we making so much noise on that? Are we now ruled by kshatriyas and served by soodras?. We are serving them. We are waiting with a cup of tea for them to sip at their leisure. With a file stuck in the arm pit, we run after them when they mount a platform to abuse our community. Then where is that ‘dharamam’ ? We are bargaining for our ‘coolie’ wages,by the side of a dead body; we are selling cooked food. We are giving our daughters to chicken -eating-chiranjeevies, after washing their feet with sanctified water ! And we call others as ‘pariahs’ and patties,dogs, because they eat meat!.
    And before I take leave of you,I am happy to inform you that I have two normal healthy, sparkling, vibrant,naughty grand children from my daughter and what a relief “They are neither animal, bird or butterfly.  Or slug or snail”. Elders,
    Sorry to waste your valuable time with my personal matters.
    Meet you again if the moderator circulates this post and allows to continue  this ‘paraya’ in this forum. Otherwise we will meet in other forums till they also throw me out or through my website, where  I am publishing this article.
    And to elders with ‘abhivadaye’   let us debate, argue forcefully But let us  not use abusive language about any one in this forum and  especially those from  other communities. If we do that we will not last long. Viji and Prakash will then have plenty of  time to spend with their families instead of struggling to screen our posts and scratch their heads.
    Love and regards,
    sperinkulam
    This was in response to Sri.Narayanswamy Subrmanian’s post on 19th May,2010 and a few others on the subject whether one can marry with in the same gotram.‏
    If the Jews, Christians and Muslims are correct, everyone living today in this world was born as a result of repeated and continuing incest.  Approved, ordained, and sanctified by God.  Unedr the doctrine:  “Go ye forth, and multiply!”

    Eve came from Adam’s rib.  Their children inter-mated, i.e. brothers mated with sisters.  And so on ad nauseam.  Same as any animal, bird or butterfly.  Or slug or snail.
    Mrs Saroja Ramakrishnan, cheenu @ coimbatore, and others who want to kick over our shasthric practice of identifying ourselves as siblings belonging to the same gothram, are in good company with Adam and Eve and their descendants.
    Mrs Saroja Ramakrishnan, cheenu @ coimbatore, and others who want to kick over our shasthric practice of identifying ourselves as siblings belonging to the same gothram, are in good company with Adam and Eve and their descendants.
    Re Chgeenu’s query.  If a Brahmin family belonging to the Bhaaradwaaja gothram adopts a female puppy, gives it the name of Mahalakshmi, would it not become a human Brahmin virgin eligible to marry a non-Bhaaradwaaja Brahmin boy ?  Mutatis mutandis, same applies to adopted humans.
    S Narayanaswamy Iyer
    ————————————————————————————–
    CC: thatha_patty@yahoogroups.com; iyer123@yahoogroups.com; USBrahmins@yahoogroups.com; silveragers@yahoogroups.com
    From: gvshwnth@yahoo.com
    Date: Wed, 19 May 2010 23:51:57 -0700
    EXTRACT
    At the outset let me admit that my views are irrelevant and I don’t qualify to give an informed opinion on this tricky question. So I am going public with my views with great trepidation and hesitation.I humbly seek pardon in advance from those who may find my views distasteful. Simply ignore me please but do not flame me!
    In brief:

    Shasti Srinivasan’s views appeal to me. I would like to lend a sympathetic chord. He is doing truly yoeman’s service. All strength to his noble eblow!
    n these modern days when geographical, and cultural borders are crumbling, when even race and religion are becoming irrelevant to some among our younger generation, caste has already become irrelevant to many among our younger folks, and marriages between Iyers/Iyengars/Maadhavaas/ Smarthas and also marriages to non brahmins are becoming common, getting deeper into Gothra,Nakshatram, etc.  while not undesirable per se, need not cause so much  friction among us elders, who are any way not in the race for marriage and not eligible too. Why should we sit in judgment over what rules future generations should follow regarding marriages? We have glossed over so many practices that are not exactly per our community’s norms and Shaastras as a necessary compromise with modern times. But in this matter of Gotra, we are raising hell !
    fully support the views of those who point out the absurdity of allowing a marraige to the Athai’s son or Mama’s daughter but throw a fit on Sagothra marriage under the guise of genetic dangers. So what if the gothra of your Maama’s daughter or Athai’s son is different? Genetically are they not nearer? Yet marraiges between cousins is rampant among our community
    .Purely from genetic considerations, if two generations are checked, three if possible or practical and there is no blood relation, I would recommend we simply go ahead and not worry too much about Gothra. A blood test (for blood group, aids etc) is more relevant but who considers that these days?
    I would also like to consider the possibility that some one suggested that same Gothra merely means that thousands of years ago, a group of persons were disciples of a particular Rishi. They were not necessarily his progeny. So “Sagothra” does not necessarily mean a genetic connection. And neither does the fact that the Gothra’s are different preclude totally a genetic connection.
    I am also appalled at some “stars” being considered “untouchables”
    I am shocked to hear that Kettai is not a fancied star.
    Thank God I did not know this in 1975.
    My wife is a “Kettai” and is the star of my life!
    We have had a happy marriage for 36 years so far.
    I am also amused to hear that Aayilyam is dangerous!
    To conclude:
    I have no problem with a Sagotra marriage if no blood relationship is obvious. I will adopt this as my policy when my son (who is still too young) gets ready for marriage. However I wonder if I will ever get a chance to participate in the process of selection of a suitable bride for him. Like most modern youngsters, he may select on his own. I will be content if he informs me and seeks my blessings which will be readily given, irrespective of Gotra and Nakshatra.
    At the same time, I respect the views of those who feel Gotra is an issue on which there can be no compromise. I will merely like to agree to disagree with them and opt out of a debate with them. I have no compulsive desire or need to convince them.  However, I am distressed at the rather strong views expressed by one of us who suggested that we  should boycott such marriages! I am sure even if we do, the happy couple will not miss us one bit! I take solace in the fact that merely boycotting has been suggested, not beheading as the Khap Panchayats wish to do.
    Regards to all
    GV
    —————————————————————————————–Date: Thu, 20 May 2010
    Subject: Re: [Iyer123] Can one do Sagothram Marriages?
    From: sashti.s@gmail.com
    To: sivaratna@hotmail.com; gvshwnth@yahoo.com; srinivasan.ms2000@gmail.com; thatha_patty@yahoogroups.com; iyer123@yahoogroups.com; USBrahmins@yahoogroups.com; silveragers@yahoogroups.com; BRAHMINASSOCIATION-owner@yahoogroups.co.in; madraslawyer@yahoo.co.in; gbsub@yahoo.com
    CC: 4brahmins@yahoogroups.com; atchuth@gmail.com; ushatr@gmail.com; iyerkvs@gmail.com; aaviskar2006@yahoo.co.in; vibrantkumar@yahoo.com; rajpandit22@yahoo.com; subramamanan_gopalaswamy@yahoo.co.in; swetha.iyer@gmail.com; srinivasantt@yahoo.com
    -Dear Friends,
    I am touched  by the outpouring supporting/justifying and divergent views by Members of this esteemed Forum, Honorable GV, GSubramanian  and  Perumkulam — you are not my personal friend(s), that I know of or met over the years, but this great debate on the above subject has  brought us together.
    I don’t consider we are friends just because you agree and vote for, or give your favorable opinions, but you do so freely, frankly and fearlessly, in our Brahmin Society, “mildly endorsing” Sagothram wedding celebrations, in the context of where and how we are and the society we live in and a set of very  changed circumstances, in this modern day and age that we  live in, many of us, far and wide away from  our distant Motherland, not knowing what to do with our children of  marriageable age who have gone out in several directions to make an eking in what they believe is  “a land of opportunity” — it could be U.S.A, Canada, U.K. Australia and/or Middle East, Western  European countries like France, Germany and Norway, where parents of  children of marraigeable are, with parents pleading helplessly to get their children married; whose cause, I am seeking to serve through this Forum; some of you like GV, G. Balasubramanian, and  Perumkulam putting your reputation at stake in voicing your valuable opinions in  such Public Forums where you have been held in  high  esteem by our Members  and others, like G.V.S Iyer (Purohit) or our Vaadhiyar who has somewhat of divergent (different) in his views, very vociferous to his fatih and beliefs that he has to practice every day, giving out his opinions as “an authority and scholar well versed in our shastras” as he ekes out his living, as a “Purohit”  with his dissenting views on this matter, which also I greatly admire, value and respect!
    And our friend, Kim Ramachandran (a long time Native American Resident) who has voiced his “line item veto” like the U.S. Congress wanted to give our U.S. President but each party voted it down whether the other Party’s President was in power,  “for or “against” each line item comment by the Learned Purohit  (Vaadhiyaar),  GVS Iyer
    My children, daughter and son are happily married and settled in life,  by God’s grace and blessings!  It is  not their cause that I am advocating or pleading for or championing to promote!  It is your cause, people’s cause, parents of boys and girls of marriageable age, living in  the U.S. Canada, U.K. Europe, Middle East, Australia and NZ, the world over!  And when I connect a boy and girl of marraiageable age, in a distant, remote and far away land, where I see a “ray hope” of marriage between the  two “jeevans” coming together and “tieing a knot”, and then a parent of the boy or gal comes and axes, “but we are Sagothram” or closes out the conversation with an abrupt remark “but that the Naksthram, Moolam, Ayilyam, Kettai and Pooradam, are not on the list of Naksthrams that our Astrologer gaveus as matching stars with that of their son or daughter”, or “we are Vadakalai Iyengars and they are Vadamas, Madhwas, Ashtasahasram, Brahacharnam“,  that is what puts a closure to my whole effort and I see my efforts at the prospect of  a  “matrimony” once and for all “dimming” for that boy and girl; it pains my heart, making  me feel that I, as a Father of that boy or girl,  “losing” the battle to get them married and see a happy culmination of a wedding celebration fade! In my Life Time!  In Your Life Time!

    Parents, I appeal to you, don’t let us happen to your children!
    Respectfully yours,
    VSrinivasan
    3614 Columbia Blvd
    Garland, Texas 7503-2246
    tel: 001-972-840-3495
    —————————————————————————

    Images are not displayed.
    Display images below – Always display images from vm194211@yahoo.co.in
    ——————————————————————————————

    ———- Forwarded message ———-
    From: Mahadevan Venkitasubbiar <vm194211@yahoo.co.in>
    Date: Tue, May 25, 2010 at 1:56 PM
    Subject: Re: [Iyer123] Sagotra Marriages
    To: iyer123 <iyer123@yahoogroups.com>
    For the past few days, one has been regularly reading in this forum, arguments and counter- arguments prohibiting Sagothra Marriages. Perhaps, this topic has assumed added significance because of almost a national debate on the subject, provoked by recent happenings in Haryana.
    The protaganists of the “Prohibit Sagothra Marriages”, believe that those belonging to the same Gothras come within the  prohibited relationship and therefore such marriges would not be in the interest of the offspring.They also argue that this is in conformity with Hindu Marriages Act.
    The same group of people vehemently argue in favour of uncles marrying nieces or cousins (children of brothers and sisters) marrying each other, citing traditions.
    Let us now examine the relevant provisions of  Hindu Marriage Act. Section 2 of this Act, defines the prohibited relationships. Among others,the following are prohibited relationships:
    brothers and sisters
    Uncle and niece
    aunts and nephews
    children of brothers and sisters
    Thus, under the Hindu Marriages Act, an uncle marrying his niece or children of brothers and sisters marrying each other, come within the prohibited degree. Yet, we have no qualms in encouraging these marriages (particularly in South India), because the Hindu Marriage Act has an enabling provision.
    Section 5 (iv) says that the marrying persons are not within the degree of prohibited relationship, unless the custom or usage governing each of them permits of a marriage between the two.
    Thus, the rule prohibits marrying within the prohibited relationship. But the exception is the custom or usage. We take umbrage under the exception and defy the rule without any qualm. This is how we support the marriage of uncles with nieces or children of brothers and sisters marrying each other.
    Medically, in this forum, doctors have averred that consanguinous marriages lead to defective genes in children.
    Those who take support from a legal loophole and defying medical opinion, argue in favour of discouraging Sagothra marriage on the ground that it comes wihin the prohibited relationship. There are no scientic evidence to show that unrelated families belonging to same Gothra come within the consanguinous relations. Thus, they are afraid of an unknown consaguinous relationship from same Gothras, but do not hesitate to defy known consanguinous relationships and take shelter under an exception of the Hindu Marriages Act, completely oblivious of the Rule.
    I do not advocate Sagothra marriages. I only advocate that if in all respects there is agreement, Sagothra should not stand in the way, except when the consanguinous relationships are known.
    On any day, marrying the member from an unrelated family, but belonging to the same Gothra is better than marrying one’s niece or cousin.
    V.Mahadevan

    ———- Forwarded message ———-From: Mahadevan Venkitasubbiar <vm194211@yahoo.co.in>Date: Tue, May 25, 2010 at 1:56 PMSubject: Re: [Iyer123] Sagotra MarriagesTo: iyer123 <iyer123@yahoogroups.com>
    For the past few days, one has been regularly reading in this forum, arguments and counter- arguments prohibiting Sagothra Marriages. Perhaps, this topic has assumed added significance because of almost a national debate on the subject, provoked by recent happenings in Haryana.   The protaganists of the “Prohibit Sagothra Marriages”, believe that those belonging to the same Gothras come within the  prohibited relationship and therefore such marriges would not be in the interest of the offspring.They also argue that this is in conformity with Hindu Marriages Act. The same group of people vehemently argue in favour of uncles marrying nieces or cousins (children of brothers and sisters) marrying each other, citing traditions. Let us now examine the relevant provisions of  Hindu Marriage Act. Section 2 of this Act, defines the prohibited relationships. Among others,the following are prohibited relationships:     brothers and sisters    Uncle and niece    aunts and nephews    children of brothers and sisters
    Thus, under the Hindu Marriages Act, an uncle marrying his niece or children of brothers and sisters marrying each other, come within the prohibited degree. Yet, we have no qualms in encouraging these marriages (particularly in South India), because the Hindu Marriage Act has an enabling provision.
    Section 5 (iv) says that the marrying persons are not within the degree of prohibited relationship, unless the custom or usage governing each of them permits of a marriage between the two.
    Thus, the rule prohibits marrying within the prohibited relationship. But the exception is the custom or usage. We take umbrage under the exception and defy the rule without any qualm. This is how we support the marriage of uncles with nieces or children of brothers and sisters marrying each other.  Medically, in this forum, doctors have averred that consanguinous marriages lead to defective genes in children. Those who take support from a legal loophole and defying medical opinion, argue in favour of discouraging Sagothra marriage on the ground that it comes wihin the prohibited relationship. There are no scientic evidence to show that unrelated families belonging to same Gothra come within the consanguinous relations. Thus, they are afraid of an unknown consaguinous relationship from same Gothras, but do not hesitate to defy known consanguinous relationships and take shelter under an exception of the Hindu Marriages Act, completely oblivious of the Rule. I do not advocate Sagothra marriages. I only advocate that if in all respects there is agreement, Sagothra should not stand in the way, except when the consanguinous relationships are known.On any day, marrying the member from an unrelated family, but belonging to the same Gothra is better than marrying one’s niece or cousin.  V.Mahadevan


  • കരുണാ വാരിധെ എനിക്കഭയമേകണം നീ

    ഒരുനുള്ളു മണ്ണ് തിന്നു ഉലകൊന്നു പണിതമ്മ-
    ക്കെതിരെ വായ്‌ തുറന്നു നിന്നൊരു മായാമയൻ നീ ;ഒരു പിടിയവിൽ പിടി ച്ചെ ടുത്തു ബാല്യമിത്രന്റെ
    കൊടിയ ദാരിദ്ര ദുഃഖ മകറ്റിയകുബേരൻ നീ
    ഒരു ചീര ഇല കൈക്കൊണ്ടു ദുർവാസാദി വന്ദ്യർതൻ
    വിശപ്പാറ്റി യുദിഷ്ടിരാധികളെ കാത്തവാൻ നീ
     
    ഗുരുവായുപുരപതെ,  വിജയ സാരഥേ   കൃഷ്ണാ,
    കരുണാ  വാരിധെ എനിക്കഭയമേകണം  നീ                                                 1
     
    കുരുവര്‍ഗം കുലസ്ത്രീ യെ  പരസ്യമായപമാനിച്ചതു
    താങ്ങാ തവള്‍  മാനം പരിരക്ഷിച്ചവന്‍ നീ
     
    കരച്ചില്കെട്ടോടിവന്നു  കരീന്ദ്രനെ മുത ല തന്‍
    പിടിയില്‍ നിന്ന്  രക്ഷിട്ച്ച  ഗരുടവാഹനന്‍ നീ
     
    അതിഘോര നരസിംഹ സ്വരൂപനായ് ഹിരണ്യനെ
    വധം ചെയുതു ധരണി തൻ കദനം തീര്ത്തവൻ നീ
     
    ഗുരുവായുപുരപതെ,  വിജയ സാരഥേ   കൃഷ്ണാ,
    കരുണാ  വാരിധെ എനിക്കഭയമേകണം നീ
     
    ഇടിയും മിന്നലും കാറ്റും കൊടിയ  വര്‍ഷമും  ചേര്‍ന്ന്
    മനസ്സിനെ  കുലുക്കുമ്പോള്‍  അടുത്ത് നില്‍ക്കണം  നീ
     
    ഇടയ്ക്കിടെ വിഷക്കാ റ്റു  വിതറി വന്നിടും  സരപ –
    ഫ ണ ങ്ങളെ  കീഴിലാക്കി നടനം ആടണം നീ
     
    വെയിലിലും മഴയിലും  ഇരുളിലും വെളിച്ചത്തും
    കരഞ്ഞാലും ചിരിച്ചാലും അടുത്തു ണ്ടാ ക ണം   നീ
     
    ഗുരുവായുപുരപതെ,  വിജയ സാരഥേ   കൃഷ്ണാ,
    കരുണാ  വാരിധെ എനിക്കഭയമേകണം  നീ

     

  • En me matha

    In the olden days too, women had sacrificed their Chastity under various conditions.
    Innocence in the initial stage and later, necessity prompted Kunti to accept husbands of divine celebrities other than the human husband ordained for her. Impersonation impelled Ahalya to fall into the hands of a celestial celebrity who was lured by her pristine beauty.  Jabala became polyandrous  due to occupational hazard combined with abject poverty. Ambika and Ambhalika, were forced by their mother-in-law, Satyavathy, to accept Vyasa, as their husband for the purpose of creating a heir for the crown.
    Such incidents would have happened earlier too. Human weakness and necessities, like many other things,  have no dates.
    So, it was therefore natural for the Rishies to expect the recurrence of such things in the future too and it was in their immense wisdom and practical outlook that they ensured that our pindadhanam, offering to manes reach our biological father.
    They never had in their mind my mother or your mother and therefore let us not become emotional while reciting the above mantram. Mantras are common for all, including Jabala Satyakama and Siva  Perinkulam.