Author: shivam

‘A man of my status should not stand before you with a begging bowl for food, Ammalu. You are not giving me charity, but performing the duty of a wife’

‘Today, lunch is delayed by just five minutes; you make such a hulla-gulla! Had I not gone to Ammin’s house, I would have finished cooking much earlier’

‘You went to help Ammini? What happened to that poor girl. You would have stayed there for the whole day’

‘That poor girl said some nonsense about you. So, I went and  gave her a kick at her lower back. If she doesn’t get up by tomorrow, you can go and lift her up’

‘Had I waited for a few more days, I would have certainly found an educated girl for marrying. What you say Ammalu?’

‘I can’t say about your chances. For my educational qualification, certainly I would not have found a better qualified husband than you’.

‘Ammalu, what are you talking? Where is comparison between us? You are an illiterate and I’m a scholar of international repute!’

‘Where is proof for your claim of qualification?’

‘Open my cupboard. A box full of certificates are there. Read, read, read’

‘How? I’m an illiterate. I can’t read. Your behavior from day one, throughout these forty and odd years, never gave me any indication of the credit you claim’ 

‘Ammalu, every man has a history and every woman a geography. You can’t change my genetics’

‘I haven’t learned Art or Science. My subject is Economics. Interested only in your Accounts, Finance and outdoor activities’

‘Outdoor activities too was a subject in your studies?’

‘No, my object of joining you’ 

‘I’m sorry Ammalu, I’m not here to wash your vessels, or sweep your floor or clean your cows’

‘Thank you my dear paying guest’

‘Paying guest, me? Have you gone mad?’

‘The house doesn’t belong to you. Neither the properties, not even the cattle. Then who are you, if not my paying guest?’

‘Where is the broomstick Ammalu?’

‘I wanted you just to pick up your coffee tumbler from the cupboard and wash once. That is all. If you do that small service, it is more than enough for me’

‘Ammalu, I’m looking for someone with whom I can share my secrets’

‘Why not me be that person?’

‘Joking? Has any man shared his secrets with his wife and slept peacefully?’

‘Ok. I too will look for a person to share my secrets’

‘Secrets, you, you have secrets?’

‘Why not SP! can’t I have my own secrets?’

‘Oh my God! I didn’t even in my dreams,  think of that possibility. Ammalu, I beg you. Please don’t look for someone to share your secrets. It is a shame for me’

‘Ok . I won’t, but you too should not share your secrets with others. You should share with me only’

‘Sure. I will tell you now. Right now’ 

‘Wait a minute. Let me get a notebook and pencil to note down’

‘Recording my secrets? You ‘re going to publish in The Hindu paper?’

‘Never. Just to share with my mom who boasts that she knows more secrets about you, than I do.’

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‘Ammalu, Pattu’s husband Pattabhi praises that I’m handsome, very handsome’

‘Not my problem. If Pattu had said so, it becomes my problem’

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‘SP, remember, you’re in a Mexican restaurant and not in your home, to expect pappadam, payasam and vadumAngAi! You have the habit of looking at wrong places for the right things’

‘Habit? What do you mean, Ammalu?’

‘Yes, habit. When my friends meet you and smile, you don’t look at their face; you look at their back, when they return.
Smile comes from the front, not from the back’

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‘Our Appu astrologer says that in our last birth,
I was a mighty lion and you, a rabbit, Ammalu. A poor rabbit’

‘Astrologers never lie. Now, I know why God made me your wife, in this birth, to give back in tons what I received from you in my previous birth. ‘You reap as you sow,’ they say’

‘Ammalu, I was joking. You took it serious’

‘Thank God, you didn’t take my taunt serious. Continue to enjoy the comforts from me’

‘What comforts you give me? You’re an irritating itch for me’

‘Ah! Appu astrologer!’

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‘Ammalu, you, the old lady with a preparing-to-bend back, and a heavy- loaded head, why are you jealous of me, when I asked you to look for a Gym for my body enhancement?’

‘What is lacking in your body beauty, SP?’

‘I’m so proud of you my beauty queen! What are you then, searching for, in the website, my pearl from the Kalpathy river?’

‘A gym for your mind enhancement’

This morning while wearing my jacket ( coat), pushed my one hand into the opening meant for that and looked for the entry point for the other hand. It, simply was not there!
‘How did I suddenly lose a hand?,’ was my worry!

Soon, blissfully, came to the realization that, what was missing was not a hand but only a jacket hole to push in my other hand!

How can hand vanish like that? I looked at my hands, to reconfirm. Both were there in their places! God is great and my belief that God is great is getting confirmed again and again !

Let the jacket with a missing part, go. I shall ask my daughter in law to buy another jacket.

Buying another jacket means spending money and I don’t like my children spending their hard earned money for my needs, unless my needs are urgent and unavoidable.

I searched for the missing part of the jacket. OMG! The jacket is hale and hearty. No part is missing. It was bought only last year and in fact Mahima, bought a second one as the first one was less expensive. She goes for the best and that was how she selected my nephew!

So, nothing is missing from the jacket and the confusion was because, in a hurry, I failed to locate the hole of the tube into which my hand was to be pushed in. It is an expensive jacket, just an year old. How can it tear and lose a part?

So, things are very clear. My both hands are there and in the proper place. Jacket too is in good shape. Hands are safe, jacket too. What is there to worry?

What did that stream of thoughts indicate?Have I become old?
Not at all. How can I become old ?
Had I become old, I would not have been able to wear the jacket without someone’s help.

Was there a small confusion in my mind for a short period?

Confusion, for whom ? For me?

Never.