I know that it is the husband and the wife, who have to chart out their programs and procedure for a happy marriage. Even in the earlier days, when the formal education was not wide spread, our womenfolk had the wisdom and common sense to set right things in a family, when the situations demanded. Moreover, mostly they lived in a combined family and even otherwise, suggestions and advises were forthcoming from the experienced elders, and those were welcomed and often accepted. External help was hardly sought. It is now, when the couple themselves are better informed that they seek the help from an external agency, a paradox but a hard truth due to the complexity we managed to dump upon our lifestyle.
A tip now and then from friends and relatives might be of use to some, though I am not very sure on this aspect. Anyway, here are a few tips, collected and developed:
1. Always consult one another when making big decisions.
Both of you are equally interested in the welfare of the family and therefore, a supportive idea is bound to emerge from mutual consultation. And apart from that, the feeling and satisfaction that ‘my opinion is sought’, strengthens the bond.
Are we not consulting our friends and colleagues? Then, why not life partners ?
‘What does she know?’ is a wrong approach. She or he might know something new or something you have forgotten.
2. Don’t compare your marriage with others’ – you don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors.
One person is never like another; one pair is never like another. We are human beings, not materials made by machines. So comparison has no meaning. You take into consideration your need, your capabilities, your resources, your demerits and then act.
Many parents have the habit of comparing their children’s performance in studies with their classmates.
“Did your son clear the IIT entrance?”. Many parents wanted to know when the results were out. When I told them, ‘no’, they were satisfied.
How can my son be like another in shape, intelligence, performance or in any respect?
‘Neighbor’s envy and owner’s pride” was a popular advertisement a few years ago.
3.Compromises are part of life. While traveling in a public transport, while driving your own car, even while working in your own office or worshiping in a temple – at every place you have to be prepared for compromises.
In a family life, it is all the more required. Compromise is adjusting and not surrendering. You can compromise with your boss, with the man, animal or vehicle on the road but not with your spouse?
A tip now and then from friends and relatives might be of use to some, though I am not very sure on this aspect. Anyway, here are a few tips, collected and developed:
1. Always consult one another when making big decisions.
Both of you are equally interested in the welfare of the family and therefore, a supportive idea is bound to emerge from mutual consultation. And apart from that, the feeling and satisfaction that ‘my opinion is sought’, strengthens the bond.
Are we not consulting our friends and colleagues? Then, why not life partners ?
‘What does she know?’ is a wrong approach. She or he might know something new or something you have forgotten.
2. Don’t compare your marriage with others’ – you don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors.
One person is never like another; one pair is never like another. We are human beings, not materials made by machines. So comparison has no meaning. You take into consideration your need, your capabilities, your resources, your demerits and then act.
Many parents have the habit of comparing their children’s performance in studies with their classmates.
“Did your son clear the IIT entrance?”. Many parents wanted to know when the results were out. When I told them, ‘no’, they were satisfied.
How can my son be like another in shape, intelligence, performance or in any respect?
‘Neighbor’s envy and owner’s pride” was a popular advertisement a few years ago.
3.Compromises are part of life. While traveling in a public transport, while driving your own car, even while working in your own office or worshiping in a temple – at every place you have to be prepared for compromises.
In a family life, it is all the more required. Compromise is adjusting and not surrendering. You can compromise with your boss, with the man, animal or vehicle on the road but not with your spouse?