Warning to my young friends to be married soon:
Before leaving for your honey moon trip, decide how to address your honey.
What made these two queens, mother in law and daughter in law to break out into laughter ?
My story of a just -married couple in their five star hotel suit in a honey moon night.
The story, in short:
Seshu whispered into Kunja’s ear, ‘honey, you’re my chakkaravattu upperi’
Kunja though of Kerala origin but born and brought up in USA, had never heard the word ‘chakkaravattu upperi’.
‘You’re addressing me as Jack’s friend ?’, she enquired anxiously.
‘Oh, no. I called you as my jackfruit chips’, my sweet heart’, he explained.
‘Jackfruit? What fruit is that ?’ she asked.
Though in her ancestral Kerala home, there are three jackfruit trees, the girl never visited the village and her question was pertinent.
The boy lifted his hand apart, raised and said. ‘It is a big fruit with thorny outer layer and sweet fruits inside’
‘Am I that big and thorny?’, she got up from the bed and asked him in angry voice. Apparently, she had no patience to hear about the sweet inner part. If I were in his position, I would have mentioned first about the sweet inner part and woukd have added, ‘like your heart ‘. But the bridegroom, unfortunately was not me and I may not get a chance to explain.
No, I was wrong. I was in the neighboring room in the hotel and my tele. rang.
‘Uncle, come soon and explain to Kunja, what a Jackfruit is’.
‘Give me five minutes’, I said, rushed out, bought a Jackfruit from the opposite Koya’s shop, entered into Seshu’s room, with the fruit on my head.
‘This is a bundle of thorns’, Kunja protested. ‘Am I this, for you?’
Seshu’s face sunk.
‘Uncle can you cut and show the seeds inside, please?’
‘Why not?’, I said, placing the thorny globe on the table and rushed to collect a knife from the manager.
‘Give me a big knife, please’, I requested.
The manager gazed me from top to bottom and called the police.
‘Here is an old man. Come soon’, he requested.
‘If he is old, why trouble us now, at this odd hour?’
‘No sir, he is asking for a knife’
‘Might be for cutting areca nut for his Pan chewing . Give him’
‘No Sir, he is asking for a big knife’
The Kerala police is duty- conscious. In ten minutes, the police van came and the inspector asked me, ‘whose throat you want to slice?’
‘Chakkadae, Sirea ! (Jackfruit’s Sir’)
‘Show me’. The inspector thought I wanted to cut Chakku’s throat. Chakku is my close friend. Why should I trouble him?
I was hesitating to take the police to my friend’s honeymoon suit, but was forced to do that.
Kunja was shocked. Seshu was puzzled. He muttered, ‘Uncle I asked to get me a big knife and you brought the police here?’
‘Oh, the big knife is for you? You wanted to cut the throat of this innocent girl? ‘ The police raised the baton against Seshu’s head.
I’m known for my crisis managing ability. ‘No, inspector, the knife is for cutting this jack fruit’
‘Why jack fruit here?‘
‘She wanted it’, I explained.
‘She wanted now, here ?’
‘Yes, Inspector. We have a practice of fulfilling the desire of a pregnant girl, whatever it be’, my CMS (crisis management skill ) reached happily at its zenith.
‘I’m pregnant?’ Kunja screamed at me. She turned to the PC and said, ‘officer, I’m here for my honeymoon night. How can I be pregnant? This old man is bluffing.
Kunja collected her handbag and was about to shoot out when Seshu stopped her. ‘Don’t go, my chakkaravattu upperi’
I can’t blame him . That was the only word he had by-hearted to address his sweet heart.
‘Chakkaravattu upperi? ‘Evade’, where enquired the PI.
‘I will get in five minutes from Koya’s shop’, I said and rushed out. In less than five minutes, I was back with a packet which I opened and distributed.
The PI was happy. The honeymoon couple was happy.
Then what ?