Posted on Leave a comment

Ammalu is always right

“Why did you buy a new waist belt, Ammalu?
I have three already”
“Not for you. It is Ammini’s birthday gift”
“Gone out of your senses? Funny woman!”
“She is wearing her sari below her naval and her explanation is her waist becomes thinner by day and sari doesn’t stay. The belt should help”
Writing some trash, you waste your sleep and that of others too”
“Ammalu, what I do is a sacrifice and not a trash. I’m writing only to make others to sleep”
“But I’m unable to sleep as you sit and write ”
“Ammalu, you are not among ‘others’; you are my very own!”
“Continue to write. I don’t mind losing my sleep”
“Am I writing trash, Ammalu?”
“I’m not a woman if I say that what you write is a trash, after your calling me ‘ Ammalu’ thrice in three seconds”
What is difficult to lose if gained?
What is difficult to regain if lost?
Abdominal fat is difficult to lose, if gained.
Ammalu’s respect is difficult to regain, if lost.
I’m handsome, Ammalu”
“You are”
“I’m honest”
“You are”
“Would you like to say something about you?”
“Yes. You are what you are, because of me”
“Nonsense. I was born handsome. You have no role in that”
“Thank you for agreeing that your honesty is my making. That is all, SP Sir”
“You know how much I earn per month? You should, as you are keeping the money. Who appointed you as the custodian and controller of my earnings, may I know, madam?”
“Your mom. She said soon after our wedding, ‘my son has no control over his mind, tongue and money. From now on, you are going to control all the three’. Of the three, I could control only your money and so, it is safe”
I told you on the first day of our marriage all sort of rubbish: ‘I love you; I can’t live without you; I will do anything you ask for’ etc. I feel sorry for what I said then, Ammalu”
“That was on our first night, not on the first day. Every boy tells such lies. But I thought you were an exception, you were very special and you meant what you said”
“Yes Ammalu. I’m an exception. I’m very special.
I meant what I said”
“Thank you. Crack this coconut, slice it into small pieces add three dry chillies, add a pinch of salt, two spoons of coriander seeds, a bit of asafetida —-”
“Stop, stop. No more additions or subtractions, please. Everything I said on our wedding day and night, was lie, lie, nothing but lie. I never meant what I said. I’m a very ordinary person, like any other husband. Nothing special about me”
“Your behavior in Ammini’s birthday party was
undignified, unwanted and unbearable, Amnalu.
Why did you laugh when that poor girl was singing some nice songs, melodiously, meticulously, musically”
“‘ Ba,Ba black cheap, have you any fool?’
Malayalam accent, I can understand. .’Mary had a little Lomp’ also. But, how to tolerate the next half, ‘little bomb, little bomb?. After all, she was not singing Carnatic music or ghazal. To sing baby songs she was struggling. And you call that melody and some more ‘dees?”
“Ammalu. She has a post graduate degree in English!”
“Then, that poor girl would have forgotten to pick up her dentures that evening!”
“At times your behavior is abnormal, Ammalu.
In Ammini’s birthday party, only close friends were present and they all knew our relationship. Why did you like a fool, introduce me as your husband, while addressing them?”
“The way some of the women there behaved with you in the party, gave me a suspicion whether they are aware of our relationship or not. Repetition and reconfirmation, at times help us, you see”
“Don’t say, ‘helps us’ . It helps you, perhaps”
” I know you are my husband”
“It is worrying that by aging, I’m losing control over my wife, Ammalu”
“I’ll do something about it and it is not a big issue. The really big issue is that you are losing control over your tongue, your taste buds, your mind, your brain and your pen. And I can’t do much about that”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *