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I can afford to lose anything, but myself.

  • Forgetfulness is God’s gift . It is a boon, I admit. Had I not forgotten the quarrels with my mother in law and her daughter, I would have vaporized long ago. The problem is that forgetfulness forgets that our top floor area shrinks with aging and it is already over- crowded with unwanted thoughts and avoidable attachments to almost every thing in the world. Not a thing to forget.
    It will, therefore, be good for the elderly, to fix a place for keeping their eye glasses, mobile phones, wallet, wrist watch and such accessories of regular use and keep those only there, when not in use. It is easily said than put into practice. I get up at night and pushed by an urge to write, search for my eye glasses. But for searching my eyeglasses, I need them! To believe in God you have to have God within. To love a child, there should be a child within you.
    I lost two expensive watches in the toilets of AC compartments in trains and in both the cases, almost caught the culprits, but they first smiled and then stared at me as if it was I who stole their watches. Both were wearing neatly pressed white dothies and white shirts, one, his prominent forehead adorned with viboothi and kumkum and the other, his not-that prominent neck wrapped in a tri-colour angavastram . So both were honorable men and it was my mistake to have doubted their honesty.
    God was kind enough to provide us with irremovable eyes, ears and nose. Otherwise we would have missed or misplaced them in toilets and honorable men would have stolen them!
    While with my children in US, I need to carry while going out with them, neither the wallet, mobile or watch or any other personal appendages, other than my hearing aids. Lovingly, I call them my ‘karnaabharanams’, though I have a permanent set of ornament decorating my earlobes . My hearing aids are expensive, gifted by my son in law; I would have never bought them with my money and you know that!. I cannot, therefore afford to lose them. My alludu, SIL, is a clever boy. Wants to ensure that l don’t say, ‘vinnalethura Babu-didn’t hear, when he complains about my daughter.
    My mother in law is elder than me; obviously!. Her hearing capacity is not less than that of my aged boss, who used to repeat verbatim every unprintable word I used to utter about him in the car shed or canteen. Though she is much older to my retired and re-employed boss, she has enough material to write a novel about her daughter in law, raw materials collected from temple-gossips. But about her daughter, I will be pouring baskets and buckets full of complaints, ‘kaathilai onnum vizarathaillai- nothing is audible to me’ – Simple lady, she can’t hear, ‘paavam’.
    Coming back to hearing aids, I did lose one piece, sometime ago, nowhere else but in my own house, ‘Anantha jyothi’ in Hyderabad, where, other than me, only one more honorable man lives-my younger brother. Undoubtedly, he too needs an aid , but refuses to go in for that, as like me, he is a Katahakali lover. Moving eyes and fingers, we communicate happily, no noise pollution, no skirmish, no theft-fear. Thank God, we didn’t learn that dance or any other dance. Risky, highly risky at our age!
    Old age is golden age- preserve it well ; gold price is going up. When I lost my wrist watch, my son replaced it . When I lost a hearing aid, my son in law replaced it. If I lose myself, none can replace me.
    I can afford to lose anything, but  but  myself.
    Dear Sir


          With regards

2 thoughts on “I can afford to lose anything, but myself.

  1. super comody. But most of senior citizens are sailing in the same boat including me. The last sentence the top of the story.

    1. Thank you Sundaresan, We should start working on our project.
      Love, sperinkulam

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