“All you guys, ready for the interview ?”
” I am the only candidate here.” I replied getting up instantly from my seat, as if my bottom was pinched by a bed bug and looking around to find that ‘all’ in the hall, other than me. ” Can I come in Sir ?”
” Let the selected candidate come. ” He replied as if I had no business to be there.
“So, Sir you have already selected a candidate ? ” I pooled up some courage and asked, “then why did you call me for the interview ?”
Without bothering to answer, he went in, closing his right small finger and counting one to make sure that I was the only person awaiting there.
A few more candidates joined and we exchanged notes. The officer came out of the room and drew a full circle in the air with his head . Now he has started counting the numbers by his head, I thought.
We all got up and yelled, ” shall we come in sir ? “
“Let the selected candidate come. ” He replied casually and before going in, counted, one, two ,three, four , five, folding his fingers. Just to confirm the numbers, I am sure.
Then came a damsel, her half-heartedly worn apparel hesitantly hanging somewhere in her body. She sat near me exposing her lovely legs further and started patting her hair pushing it back and surveying her scanty clothes surreptitiously.
The officer came out, an Ootty garden blossomed on his face . Throwing a lavish smile at the lady, he invited her inside. “Hearty welcome to our group, madam, The chief is waiting for you”
We got up from our seats and moved towards the exit door.
”Hey, where are you guys, going ?” He stopped us .” We are now ready for your interview”
“What interview ?” I flared, ” you have already selected a candidate and are asking her to report for duty” Humility was vaporizing from my tone.
“That madam was selected in yesterday’s interview for a higher post ” The officer replied without looking at my face but counting us once again. ” And she is going to select one of you today”
“Oh, that is understandable” we said in unison.
We all now started to pat our hair and survey our dress.
I was the last person to be called in and therefore could give others a bit of advice.
To boys : ” Don’t sit shy tugging your hands between thighs. Look smart, look deep at the interviewer’s eyes and suffocate him with questions when you do not have answers for what he asks. If the gentleman who came out now is in the board, use your fingers to count the number of questions he throws at you. And before coming out of the hall, make a circle in the air with your head”
To girls : Nothing cane be done now about your dress but make sure to pat your hair with your fingers and see that it hangs well before the eyes, providing just enough space to see through. Charm the fellows on the other side of the table by cooing’ oh, what a wonderful question ‘ , ‘ wish I were as intelligent as you are’ etc and in the case of old men admire ‘oh, how thin are your eye-glasses’ etc
After the interview was over, the finger -counter came out and expressed his sympathy looking sadly at me ,” sorry, gentle man! you are the only one not selected”
“Oh, that is understandable,” I remarked smiling at him . Before leaving the waiting hall, he asked me , “what are you counting with your fingers ?’
”I was trying to count the number of interviews I have lost ” I replied looking pathetically at both my palms, “but no fingers are left to count this loss”
“Oh, that is understandable “
He remarked and went in.