Shivam Diaries

Every rock has a sculpture within, if you know to carve it out ”
Meera offered some fruits and Arathi to God accompanied by ‘ Jaya Jagadees Hare!’ song.
Athai hugged Pitchu and Liz, in the typical Hyderabadi style. ” Welcome my children” she said when Pitchu fell at her feet and blessed, ” be happy always and make your parents too happy as far as you can ”
” I have loved you as a baby and I continue to love you ” She said wiping his tears.
” Athai, I am sorry to give you the trouble of coming over here ” Meera pressed athai’s legs and added,” but being the senior most in the family, your guidance is a must for us, before we take Liz to mama ”
” Nice of you Meera ” Athai encouraged her, ” though much younger to Perias, you are much wiser than him ”
After flashing a mischievous smile at me, he asked Pitchu, ” when did you meet Elizabeth ?”
” They did their PG together and are colleagues now” It was Meera who replied to athai. ” They live together for the past few months but are NOT married ”
Meera paused and looked at Athai face. It became cloudy for a moment but soon regained its clarity.
“So, Perias, as usual, your information was half-cooked ? ‘kudukkalae potta karappu’- one who is always in a hurry for nothing ” Athai looked at me and continued, ” how is that even your son was in the dark ?”
” Athai, we didn’t inform him too” Said Pitchu.
Meera further explained that boy and girl living together, before wedding is common in western countries, the idea being that it would help them to come to know each other better.
Then, she quoted from the starting scene of ‘ King Lear’ to explain how it was common, even in Shakespeare’s time, for the women to have children before a formal marriage. In fact, in her own family there were some couple, who had lived together, before marriage and they were leading a happy life now.
“Whereupon she grew round- wombed, and had indeed, Sir,
A son for her cradle ere she had a husband for her bed.”
Athai did not utter a word. She opened the fridge and enjoyed some coke and asked, “Shall we go for a walk?”
We all walked down to the garden in front of our house and sat on the lawn.
Athai is an old matriculate who did proud to her teacher Sri. C.S.Sesha Iyer of Motilal High School,Palakkad, when she conveyed to Liz, what she wanted to say, in a clear language, though at times, she had problem in following Liz’s accent. In a few words, she made Liz to understand that though her people were orthodox and traditional, they were pure in thoughts, adaptable, tolerant and forgiving and would be happy to welcome Liz as their daughter-in-law. Pitchu is an intelligent boy who loves his family and therefore he would not take any decision which would go against the interests of the family, because of the unceasing flow of love between them.
As expected by them, she finds Liz friendly, charming and intelligent. Being from a different country and of a different culture, differences are bound to be there and she is sure that Liz, with her intelligence and academic background, would be able to adjust and accommodate the wishes of the family members.
That was a wonderful presentation and only athai could do it so well. Seshumama would have come no where near his sister and Alamu mami’s ability, less said, the better.  If Elizabeth were introduced to the Seshu couple first, they would have, because of their attachment to traditional values and affection to Pitchu, discolored the reception and disfigured the matter. Pitchu and Liz would have found it very embarrassing. Therefore, I appreciated Meera’s foresight in requesting athai to come to ‘Anantha Jyothi’ and arrange this meeting,.
Pitchu and Liz were very much impressed by the initial treatment they had from the senior most member of the family and Pitchu knows that athai has the final say in the family.
” Look, Meera, you and Elizebeth are of the same age and she will follow your language better” athai told Meera.”as a third person but well wisher of our family, your suggestions will be most unbiased and acceptable to all of us; I hope Elizabeth also will welcome my suggestion.”
“Well done Athai ! You should have been in our External Affairs Ministry” I thought.
“Elizabeth, don’t come to any hasty decisions”, Meera said without beating around the bush.
” Pitch’s dad and mom are very conservative, orthodox and traditional minded and more over, they are very proud of their culture and beliefs. Pitch loves his parents and any acts which hurts them will be unacceptable to him. You may wonder why parents should have a say at all in the weddings of their children. That is our tradition. Marriage is sacrament for a Hindu.The wife is his partner in life and no religious rituals are performed without her. She is his counselor in counsel, servant in action, mother in affection and companion in play, according to our holy epic, Ramayan. it is in the heart of every Hindu boy that he should live with his wife till the end of his  life; and for the wife, husband is her world. When they are preparing for such an important event in their life, the parents, who have nothing but the well being and happiness of their children in their mind and  who have undergone the experience of living together as man and woman and therefor are expected to know the current of married life better, take the lead in finalizing the match. In many cases their decision works well and helps the new pairs. Please remember, that in the arranged marriages, the parents’ roll ends with proposing and suggesting. The final decision is always with the boy and the girl.
Apart from this, Pitchu is the eldest son of the family and according to our custom, he is next to his father in carrying the family tradition and burden. He has two sisters to be married and two brothers who are yet to complete their studies and has therefore to support his family, not only morally but financially too.
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Under these circumstances, it is for you to take a decision whether you would like to go ahead with the proposal which Pitch has made. No doubt, for Pitchu’s family also it is a hard decision to take and the society will not approve of this alliance; but that is secondary.
So, take as much time as you want, if necessary go back to US and discuss with your people, weigh the pro and cone and come to a conclusion .
If I have talked more than necessary, I seek the Pardon of athai”
Athai and Liz smiled; Pitchu simply nodded his head.
This sleepy , care-free girl, who takes life very casually, who spends her leisure hours reading novels, singing and dancing, has overtaken the 80 year old lady in putting things in the proper perspective, very diplomatically and most unambiguously.
It was Judge V.R.Krishna Iyer who said, “Every rock has a sculpture within, if you know to carve it out.”

A madhu chazhakam or a bowl of nectar
“Perias, you pick them up from the air port”, mama instructed,”Enakkennavo bhayama irukku” I am scared.
“‘ You are scared before your daughter-in-law steps in ?” I joked. Meera , my tenant, stared at me to show her anger in my insipid, untimely joke.
“I am coming with you to the airport, Perias,” Meera remarked and picked up the car key ” I cannot trust you.You will blabber and  spoil that girl’s mood before she lands here”
Oh, I didn’t introduce Meera to you. She occupies a portion of my house. Though she is my tenant, with her unstained character and unalloyed affection, she is like a member of my family. She takes care of my house in my absence and takes care of me when I stay here. she is teaching French in a school for foreign languages. ” Eat whatever I feed and obey whatever I say ” is her order to me, “otherwise I will report to your daughter” . Such an affectionate one she is that to a great extend she has filled the vacuum in my life.
” Welcome back home, Pitch; welcome Liz ” Hugging them affectionately, I asked, ” Where are the kids?”
” With their dad ” was their cool reply. I was shocked.
” Aren’t they your children ? ” I was about to ask but Meera, pulled my hand to signal not to ask anything.
The forced restriction was short lived.While boarding the vehicle, I asked Pitchu, ” you never said that the children were not yours ?”
” I never said that they are mine ” He retorted.
“You did not reveal the truth even to your dad when he specifically inquired about the kids ”
” Had I told him then do you think he would have believed me ?”
” Perias, why are you worried ?” Meera intervened, ” he wants to tell his dad when he meets him. I think it is proper ”
Before I could say something Meera requested them to board the car, pushed me too inside and drove off . She didn’t take us to Seshumama’s house, but to mine.
” Why here? ” I asked her.
“They will have a shower, dress-change, break fast and then I will decide ” She replied.
” You will decide ? ” My anger was unhidden in my query, ” are you their host in this house or me ?”
“Me, obviously ” was her cool reply, “as  I am serving them breakfast”
” It is OK. Oatmeal, cornflakes, bread and jam are available in the kitchen cupboard ‘
Meera wanted to entertain the guests with typical Indian breakfast. So, she made ravadosa and chatney, sambar. The couple enjoyed  the stuff and pitchu remembered his mom and explained to Liz how his mother used to make coffee after powdering the seeds afresh every time.
“How do you like my wearing  saree?” asked Liz, seeing the sarees in my daughter’s wardrobe.
‘Well, give a shot, if you have the courage” said Pitch
I asked Meera to pickup whatever clothes she wants and dress up Liz. All the clothes bought for her wedding have been left by my daughter in the cupboard before going to US and therefore Liz could choose whatever she likes..
The sight of their foreign daughter-in-law in this dress will definitely be a good start, I thought.
My children’s wedding albums attracted Liz and she asked,
“Pitch, won’t it be fun to get married in this style ?” without waiting for his reaction, she told me, ” Peri, please arrange for our wedding in typical Indian style.
With wide opened mouth I gazed at him.
” Yes, Peri. we are just living together; are yet to marry,” Pitchu said,” We will talk to dad.
My head started whirling.  “How casually he mentions about such a serious matter ?” I wondered.
” How to present this subject to them?” was my next worry.
Meera is a wonderful girl. She knew what I was worrying about .
She called athai and asked her to come to A.J. “Athai, Pitchumani and Elizabeth are here; they had their wash and break fast and are relaxing. Could you come here for ten minutes?”
Athai replied, she would.
Meera took Liz to the terrace, from where you get a nice view of our society’s central park. “Perias, I experience a divine aura around your pooja room”  Pitchu said, “start vishnusahasranam”
Forgetting everything, Liz, Meera, Seshu mama, athai and all our problems, we sang the sahasranamam together and I was surprised to note that Pitchu did not miss a single line. When we were about to finish, Athai entered and joined us in our chorus.
Whenever I think of Vishnusahasranamam, I see in my mind’s eye initially, not Lord Vishnu but that grand-sire,the great Bhishmapitamaha, that great archer and warrior of peerless courage and valour, lying in the battle field, among the dead bodies of thousands of men and animals, on a bed of arrows which pierce every inch of his body, unattended and um-wept. He was not only the tallest among the kurus, witness of Mahabharatha from Santhanu’s time, king maker, promoter and controller of the destiny of the royal family till the blind king became a puppet in the hands of his wicked sons
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Unable to control the sorrow at the way things have taken shape in his family, which he nourished sacrificing his every thing, when Bhishma cries for the Lord starting with the words,” Jagadprabhum, Devadevam, Anatham, Purushothamam—, we join him in singing the God’s glory and the unfamiliar form of the God in the Dyanaslokam starting with ” Ksheeroadanvad pradeshe–” develops through ” Meghasyamam — and flows through the thousand names each with a divine flavour and colour, and at the end all the flowers are joined together and a marvelous garland made,and I see my Guruvayoorappan, as
“Vanamaali,Gadhi, Sarnghi,Sankhee,Chakree cha Nandaki”.
Every name of the Lord, if you know the meaning, is enjoyable for hours together.
I forget my surroundings, my Puja room, people sitting around, my credit and debit balances, everything connected with me which I have been falsely claiming as mine and along with Thunjathacharyan, I enjoy the beauty of the Lord which is
“Vachasam vizhayamallathoranandamallow”-bliss, which can’t be explained in words.
The majesty of the Lord cannot be explained in words. But our great ancestors managed to do it and did it admirably.We can fully enjoy it if we know the meaning of each name.
Each word in that great works, is a madhu chazhakam, a honey-bowl.
Comments:

My daughter and I were reading your Chs. 4 & 5 of Pitch’s problems (or are they not  your problems ?) and got hooked. Now being a non-Vadama husband to a Vadama wife I am curious. And we can’t proceed further without knowing the antecedents of this Sreemaan P. and how you managed to get yourself entangled into the whole rigmarole.And who these misc. characters like Mama, Athai etc are.  (Incidentally we as a family are devotees of a god who goes by the initials PGW and that is how this curiosity.) Why don’t you just forward part 1,2 and 3 as well  to us so that we can sleep a bit more peacefully. 

Next morning, I sat before my laptop to cancel my train ticket as suggested by athai, but my’ chapalabudhi’ (weakness for good food) for Noorani sadyai, asked me to wait.
“Contact Pitchu first”, it said. O.K;  that is a point , but should I talk to Pitchu or Liz?
Since I met her in Virginia, I have spoken to Elizabeth on a few occasions and found her an affectionate girl and therefore decided to talk to her direct.
” Relax, Peri! Pitch has told me every thing “, she said the moment I started to mention about Pitchu’s family background.
That was a great relief. I called Seshumama and told him about my talk with Elizebeth .
” Now nothing to worry, mama! Relax, as Liz says. Do a few things : fix a European commode in one of your bath rooms and buy a few tissue paper rolls.; If there are no mosquito mesh for the windows and doors, get them fixed. And one more thing mama, Please tell athai that I am leaving now for Palakkad and will be back before Pitchu’s arrival ”
“Wait a minute”, Mama said,” I will call athai”
No, Please;tell her after I keep the phone down “.
I lifted my small travel- suitcase and rushed to the railway station, giving no chance to athai to ask me to cancel my trip.
I had spent several hours, as an young boy, watching at the beauty of the western ghats, as seen from our open bath room near the well at our back yard, at our Olavakkode house.The first thing I used to do as soon as I get up in the morning was to go near the well and watch the mesmerizing mountains and the water falls, with white clouds moving close to them, some above and some below, in different forms.
Even while standing at Jungfraujoch, the heighest platfrom of Europe and enjoying the marvelous mountain range at Sphnix Terrace in Switzerland, I thought about the vision of the western ghats from the backyard of my Olavakkode house. In the inimitable style of Chinmayanda, “The flavour of the jungles, the fragrance of the forests and the hymns of mountains”  have always attracted me. As a college student, I used to follow my English professor, K.K. Neelakantan, into deep forests, for watching birds. Some of you might recall that Prof.K.K.N was an ornothologist and he used to write articles in the ‘Mathrubhumi’ weekly, under the pen name ‘ Induchoodan’ On some days, when it suddenly rains, no birds could be seen and on those days, taking shelter under some trees, KKN used to talk about Shakespeare, Shelly or Tolstoy. I remembered him gratefully when I visited the birthplace of some English poets in U.K.during my visit.
While pouring cold water over my head in the open bath room of my house, facing the western ghats, a pious idea came to mind; Why not break a coconut before the Chathappuram pulliar and proceed to Noorani?.  Let Him remove the hurdles in the way and make Pitchumani’s visit a smooth affair.
Not a bad idea at all.
When I went to pick up a coconut from our cowshed, where once upon a time, a number of cows were housed and now only coconuts and some unwanted furniture are dumped, Pulliar said,
” Perias, you are picking up just one coconut to buy my blessings for such a big task: remember what you told Alamu mami, a few years ago, at the Eamcet center?”
Yes, how can I forget that scene, mami pacing at the entrance of the Eamcet center and asking me to break a coconut for Chathapputam Pulliar,” Just one coconut for such a big task, mami? Increase the number at least to three, please”
This is what I told her then. Now the task, C.P. has to intervene is much more difficult than getting EC in the Eamcet interview; so I should break three  coconuts.
But, should I? After all it is not for my purpose but my friend’s. 3×8= Rs. 24.00 should I spend that much money ?
My tenant’s child was playing nearby and I went to him with my five fingers opened
” Appu, onno, moono, thodu monea”( touch one or three out of these fingers)
C.P. has defenitely influenced the kid. He not only touched all the five fingers of my right hand but pulled my left hand also, brought all the ten fingers together and continued with his play !! Now no more dillydallying.” C.P”s orders are clear. But ten is not an auspicious number ; so I picked up 11 coconuts in a bag and went to Chathappurma temple. But before breaking the coconuts, I prayed that since the number is much more than what I had in mind initially, C.P. should remove the hurdles of not only Seshumama’s family but mine too and keep the extra one coconut in my credit balance!
While returning from Chathappuram kovil, I saw an old mama sitting in the ‘thinnai’ of his house, bare-chested. I went to him and asked,” Ongulukku Juddu Krishnamuti yai theriumo, mama?” (you know Jaddu Krishnamurti?)
There was absolutely no need for me to go to him or ask that question and I could have gone to the bus stop straight and catch a bus to Noorani. But as athai used to say, my budhi is a kurukshethram where there are 101 Kauruvas against 5 pandavas.
“Appidi inge arum illaye”( there is no one here with that name), mama replied. Then I explained to him what all I know about the philosopher and also quoted from one of his lectures:
” The moment you stop asking questions you are already dead–which is generally what has happened to older people. They have ceased to enquire because their mind is burdened with information, with what others have said; they have accepted and are fixed in tradition. As long as you are asking questions you are breathing through, but the moment you begin to accept, you are psychologically dead. So right through life don’t accept, but inquire, investigate. Then you will find that your mind is really extra ordinary, it has no end, and to such a mind there is no death”
Assuming that mama knew no English, I translated the quotation in Palakkad Tamil and asked him,”Ippo theringitho?”(understood?)
Mama glancing me from head to toe, asked
‘”Intha thengai enthukku odachai?” ( why did you break coconuts?)
I explained to him that it was for removing the hurdles and I did because every one was doing it.
‘” So, you neither enquired nor investigated as wanted by your philosopher whom you are quoting, right? You did not even bother to question the statement of J.K and find out the truth yourself, right? So,You are psychologically dead, right ?”
I started sweating and said,”konjam vellam kidaikkuma?”( water,please)
“Ullae mamikittae poyi vankikko”(get inside and take from my wife)
I went inside and mami offered me a seat, gave me not only water but some payasaprasadam too. She was tall, fair and her serene look and the big kumkuma pottu on her forehead were enough to bow my head before her. I did not learn any lesson from the rebuff I received from mama just a few minutes ago and therefore, instead of coming out thanking her for her courtesy, I asked a foolish question,
Onga athilai,ANAI IRUKKA,mami?”(is there an elephant in your house?)
” Irukke, rendennam, pinnale poyi paru”( yes, two are there , look at the backyard)
Lo and behold ! there were two elephants at their backyard.
When I got up to escape from there, I noticed a photo hanging on the wall on my right side. It was a farewell photo in a University campus as could be guessed by the dress of the people .
“That is mama’s farewell photo at Cambridge. He taught philosophy there for ten years; next month, he is going to USA, for participating in an international conference”.
.
Even without bothering to pick up the bag in which I had brought my coconuts and which I had left on a bench in mami’s ‘koodam’ I ran like a deer followed by a hunter, unable to face the staggering burden of my self-created miseries and halted only at the bus- stop.
I acquired the habit of poking my nose into the affairs of other people, perhaps from Venku athai, a distant relative of mine, who comes often to Hyderabad,after quarreling with her son and daughter in law, a nice couple. The problem with Venku athai is that she is too inquisitive and she doesn’t like to be kept in dark about any matters in any of the families known to her. I used to receive a number of phone calls and immediately after I keep down the phone, she would ask ‘arathu ? ( who called?), If I tell her the name of the person who called, then she will ask,” Enna sonnan ? ( what did he say?)’ It is neither possible for me to tell her nor necessary for her to know the details of the calls I receive. If I go to office late on a particular day, she would ask,” enna lata porai?”
why going late?) If my P.S. calls more than once a day, Venku athai would ask “Intha ponnenna summa phone panra . Avulukku kalyanam acho?”( this girl is calling often; is she married?). Like this…. Another ‘auspicious’ habit of this lady is to find fault with any good thing that comes to her notice. If you show her an expensive Kanchi pattu, she will say ‘ Ippo nanna irukku; ana oru nanaile chayam pokum.” ( it is o.k now, but will loose it’s shade once you wash it) The pity is once she has said ‘ chayam pokum’ certainly it would so happen and neither I , who is not superstitious nor the chettiar who sold the expensive sari know how only that particular sari, lost the original colour and charisma, as predicted by Venku athai. She is now 90 and going strong and the joke in our circle is that even Yama, the god of death is avoiding her. His worry is if she curses him to death, who will kill him? How to find a killer for the killer? Anyway that is Venku athai and don’t ask me why I follow her steps sometimes.
It is better to forget that episode till I poke my nose into another affair and get it crushed !!
As Athai predicted, I did attend a few more sasthapreedis, other than Norani, but reached back home in time, to receive Pitchu family.

”Does Fate always has the last laugh ? I doubt, I doubt” I murmured.

Athai, dispersed the auto driver, entered the house, opened the fridge and sipping coke, said “Sorry, to disturb you. Usually you go to sleep very late and that is why I ventured to come at this hour.” She called ‘S.N’ and informed that she was with me and would return on her own.
We are now sitting face to face in the main hall and athai started the conversation with a question:
” Apadi kim karaneeyam, Perias ?” What needs to be done, when faced with danger?
” Smaraneeyam charanaugalamambayam, Athai.” What else,think of the lotus feet of Ambal–Mother Goddess”
With that single line question, she has conveyed the message that she came to discuss an issue of importance.
“The wisest of the wise and the dullest of the dulls, never change.” said, she.
” Thank u for the complement, athai, at least now you have realized that I belong to the former category.”
“No way. you belong to the second category and I have realized that, the day we met first ”  We laughed heartily.
This tall, slim, fair woman of eighty is a symbol of grace, intelligence, wit and wisdom, humble and humane , kind and compassion. There is an aroma or greatness around her. She talks  only when she should and you can hardly find any weed in her speech.  Full of energy and enthusiasm, decency and dignity, she is  Seshumama’s elder sister and all our friends call her ‘athai’, though in no way she is related to them. “Has athai been informed?” would be the first question anyone asks in our group, when any function, good or bad is to take place in the house, You can see her in wedding halls, hospitals, maternity clinics, airports or railway stations, extending a helping hand to the needy. She never goes to any house on her own but she is the most wanted person among our group of friends and relatives.
“What is the source of her energy ?” I asked mama once, “won’t she get tired ?”
”Her mind” he replied, “Life’s frictions have created a huge energy source, a soorya mandalam, within her ”
Athai opened the fridge, and with another sip of coke, continued:
“Let us come to the point, Perias. I heard you telling Seshu, while eating last night, that you were planning to go to Palakkad tomorrow. I don’t know by which train you are going perhaps by the morning one to Vijayawada. That is why I came now.
I want u to cancel your Palakkad trip, if there is no urgent purpose. In fact I want u to be with us till Pitchu and family return to USA.”
“The trip is of urgent nature because Noorani sasthapreedi is just two days ahead and I don’t wish to miss the sadyai( Noorani ayyappa festival is well known and everyone enjoys the pooja and especially the feast. I shall return by the next train, if you permit”
” Our house is on fire here and you want to leave us for eating in the sasthapreedhi. Shame on you, Perias! Remember, it was you who lighted the fire and but for your communication, we would have continued to live in peace. And if I allow you to go to Palakkad, after Noorani, you will attend the sasthapreedi in all the 108 villages and then proceed to Trichur and Trivandram also. Sorry, you can’t go. I have no time to prepare chukkuppodi and omakkashayam ( two homemade medicines for stomach upsets)for you when you come back with a blotted belly.
“ Now, Perias, be serious, please.” Athai continued. “During the pooja last night, did you observe the high pitch in which Seshu sang along with you ? That was a deep cry from the bottom of his heart. As you know, he is a very soft spoken man and the suppressed feelings in him erupted last night when we all joined the children in the chorus. It was the helpless cry of a child fallen into a well, seeking help from his mother.
In one way, I am happy that the volcano erupted. In fact,I was praying that he should lie on my lap and cry like a child. If I were his mother, he would have done it . Anyway, Seshu is undergoing a very stressful period in his life. We all should help him to come out of it.” Athai continued,
“You may not perhaps be aware that our father was a Khanapadigal ( a learned scholar in scriptures and follower), who strictly observed the Niyamas and Anushtanas and did not tolerate even a minute deviation from the Vedic path. He was highly respected for his knowledge and the way he conducted the rites and rituals .He had performed Nithyasraddam for his pitrus for one year-”
” Wait, what nonsense are you talking athai? He performed sradhams everyday, for one year! He was a cruel man, I would say. Even to perform sradham once a year is a task especially for the lady of the house, preparing several food items , without sipping even a cup of coffee and starving till the end of the ritual.This pattar made his wife to struggle in the kitchen continuously for one year and you feel proud of him?” I could not contain my anger.
” Cool. when I look back, I too feel that perhaps, it was not necessary to perform shradham, everyday. I really do not know. Perhaps he would have thought that was one way to feed the needy brahmins and pay them some dakshinai(remuneration) every day but he could have done it in a less strainous  way. And with regard to your point on mother’s sufferings, women simply followed their husband’s directions and took all such activities as part of their duty.”
” You remember, athai, Jaddu Krishnamurti’s words:
‘The older the culture, greater is the weight of tradition which disciplines you, tells you what you must and must not do; and so you are weighed down, psychologically flattened as if a stream- roller had gone over you. That is what has happened in India. The weight of tradition is so enormous that all initiative has been destroyed. and you have ceased to be an individual; you are merely part of a social machine”
” I agree with him. Seshu blindly followed his father and expected his children also to do so and when that did not happen,he became heart-broken.
Though Pitchumani did sandyavandanam and pooja during his school days, when he started going to college he left those practices”
“He did them just to please his father and not out of love or respect for the scriptures. If he were explained the greatness of our culture, the pleasure you derive in performing the rituals, the meaning of manthras, the music in chanting them, the positive energy created by their vibrations etc., he would have continued them throughout his life. Athai, everyone wants to enjoy and loves to perform only such acts which gives him joy. Our Rishies, looking at the snow covered mountains, crystal clear lakes, clouds and waterfalls, recited the manthras enjoying every word. In north India, every one dances, irrespective of age even at a small family function. Why was bhajans, kavidiyattmas, music, dance, nadaswarams etc included in our temple functions ?
Our Rishis, knew the meanings of what they were reciting. so, excited by the divine experience , they climbed over the mountains and sang aloud,
” Madhuvadaridayathe, madhukshranthy sindhavaha ——-”
The earth, the sky, the oceans, the sun, the cows, the plants everything in the world was pouring out madhu, madhu, madhu. For them,every object was a source of the nectar of happiness and bliss. When their heart was overflowing with the Divine force, they found everything sweet all around.
How many of us are excited , while reciting Adithya hridayam , when the Rishi uses the appellations such as ‘padmaprabodaha, vindyaveedee plavangama etc ?
However smart and efficient you are,you cannot sit near a bud and ‘open’ it .The whole night the bud, standing on it’s marshy birthplace and closing the eyes, pray for the Lord and the moment the suns rays appear on the horizon,it opens up, automatically, effortlessly,spreading its fragrance all around. Only the Divine energy is capable of doing it. Distance, adverse origin or surrounding , nothing matters.
Recall, padmapriye,padmini,padmahasthe,padmalaye,padmadalayadakshi—– The Rishi sees only padmam everywhere when he looks at the Divine Mother,in her name, seat, eyes, hands everywhere.; nothing but the fragrance and divinity of the lotus fills his heart; then he mentions about her closeness with Supreme and seeks her lotus feet.’Thwal pada padmam mayi sannidaswa.”
similarly, the great Bhishma pitamaha, starts Vishnu sahsranamam with ‘Viswam-‘. He has said everything in that one word and when he completes the line with ‘Bhootha,bhavya,bhavat prabhu, his job is over but still he continues only because he wanted to sing God’s 1000 names. His heart overflows with compassion, with the progress of the namas, and in the end, with ashrupoorna-kulekshanam,tears overflowing, he addresses the God as ‘Radangapani! You, whom I addressed as ‘ sathyam, sathyavan, sathyadharma parakrama etc’, lifted the chariot wheel and rushed towards the enemy, when your friend’s life was in danger, forgetting that you had taken a vow not to use weapons in the war. If we had explained our vedas and puranas and manthras and japas in this way, why should our children forsake our culture and be after girls of another custom or country? ”
” Look, Perias, you are boring me too much. I hope that there is no vodka or margarita behind this long lecture. It is nearing eleven; I have to go home and sleep. I came here to make you understand that your message about Pitchu’s wedding with a foreign girl has shaken Seshu. Alamu also is equally shaken, but the mother’s blind affection overlooked all the undesirable acts of her son and more over, she knew that if she expressed her displeasure it would only add to her husband’s woes. Seshu cannot withstand the sight of a drop of tears in the eyes of his wife, so he too pretends as if he is not unhappy about his son’s action.
Under these circumstances, you, as a close family friend should stand by us during these difficult days.
“Seshu’s first worry is what to do if Pitchu’s wife cooks non-veg in our kitchen. Prasadams for Sivapoojai, Bhagavthi sevai and several other poojas and homams are prepared in that kitchen for several years and hopefully, that should continue at least, till Seshu is alive.We cannot allow the sanctity of the house to be destroyed in front of our eyes. you should therefore, do these things, tomorrow morning :
1. Cancel your ticket to Palakkad.
2. Tell Seshu that you would ensure that under no circumstance, you will allow Pitchu’s wife to enter the  kitchen and how you are going to do is your headache,and three,
3. This is perhaps more difficult. Pitchu’s wife should be clearly told about our family’s traditional background so that she comes prepared to behave in such a way that there will be no unpleasant feeling for both the groups.”
Athai got up, having accomplished her task.
“Now drop me in our house ”
‘Amazing! What a clarity in thoughts and expressions and what a grace !’ I thought and walked along with her to the car.
” Don’t you think that we would not have landed where we are, if mama had not insisted on jathakapporutham, vadamal and other trivial things,athai ?” I asked while sitting on the driver’s seat..
You call them trivial, but for Seshu, his son’s happiness after marriage depended entirely on those. Nowadays, boys and girls, before consenting for marriage, meet each other, go out together, discuss their likes and dislikes and in foreign countries, I am told, also live together. When we are given the responsibility of selecting a life partner, we go by the time-tested methods, like jathakapporutham, marrying from the same sub group etc so that maximum compatibility is achieved .. I know that these are outdated now; but these are the time-tested methods. Pitchu could have boldly told his father that he was not bothered about jathakam, sub-sect etc and his priority was only the girl’s looks and academics. My brother, no doubt, would have been unhappy but would have finally agreed. Whatever Seshu did was only keeping in mind the best interest of his son but unfortunately that did not work.”
“That did not work because he was very rigid in his approach. He should not have insisted on the sub-sect vadamal and such trash–You know,once you leave the shore of this country, you are known only by your passport.There is no indication of your cast or sub-caste there. Moreover, being brought up under strict discipline, and released to full freedom, Pitchu wanted to enjoy the new life, in full.
There are several other factors such as loneliness, work pressure and consequent stress, opportunity to freely mingle with the opposite sex, severe cold climate and availability of funds–all these would have contributed for his action”
” Perias, there is no meaning in discussing about the past; How to move from here ? Talk about that.  You know, I became a widow at the age of 16 after living in my husband’s house hardly for 3 months.” She diverted the topic casually.
” What?”
“yes. And do you think I would have lived up to 80, if I had not bundled and thrown my past in the kalpathy river,long ago? Memories of past do cloud my heart occasionally and at that time I take refuge in the lotus feet of my ‘Bootha,Bhavya, Bavatprabhu. the Lord of past, present and future.”
” Sorry, athai! I am not aware of this. Really shocking ! God’s ways–”
“God has no roll in this and therefore don’t blame Him.” Athai was categorical in her statement “Stupidity and ignorance killed my husband and several others in our group and is continuing to do so even now, though in lesser numbers.
There was an epidemic in Palakkad and the health authorities stopped every vehicle on the streets and entered every house and gave vaccination. When the health inspector entered our house, my husband escaped through the back-door as someone had told him that the substance injected was a serum from cow’s blood! He died after a month, because of the same epidemic; the maruthani stains on my palm and feet, applied for the wedding, had not fully vanished, when I touched darbhai( a holy grass used for the rituals) for my husband’s final rites.. Unable to bear the shock, his parents died after a month. So, my dear child! your athai has passed through worst periods in life.
“You know how my mother died ? After returning from the school, we children were to remove the school dress and keep in a corner of the front room and then only enter the house. Ankichi, who was 5 year old then, without removing the dress went inside and embraced mother, excited in seeing her after a gap of 4-5 hours. Shocked by this act, mother rushed to the temple tank and dipped herself in the ice-cold water to remove the sin of un-touchability. She was already suffering from sever cold and fever .Her body temperature shot up and she died of pneumonia within a week, leaving behind six of us, the smallest was Kalyani, 2 years old. I brought up all the five children including Seshu.
Superstition killed my mother”. Athai’s eyes were moist.
.
“All these experiences made me tough and fit to face any calamity. Calamities come in waves, in my life. When it became a routine affair, I started waiting for them and like a wild animal waiting for it’s prey, pounce on them and tear them into pieces, when they appear. I fight to the last and If they overtake me after all my efforts fail and the situation goes completely out of my control, I simply leave the war field and leave everything to Gopal.
‘Sakala karmarppanam Bhavatu Karomi jnan-” I am dedicating all my actions to You. Athai sang.
I completed the second line,
“Samsthamaparadam kshamaswa Jagalpathe!’ Oh, Lord, pardon me for all my faults.
We laughed together and athai continued ” So, I will handle Seshu but I need your help because I don’t know much about the western way of living.”
“Athai, I am now convinced that you can handle any difficult situation; but, if you don’t mind, let me ask you one personal question. Why didn’t you think of remarrying?”
” Widow marriages were not common those days. Moreover, My husband had 3 brothers all younger to him. Having lost the parents and the eldest brother, these kids would have become orphans, had I left them to their fate. So, I took the responsibility of bringing them up as well as my brothers and sisters and subsequently their off springs too. 17 children, in all, have been brought up by me.
Tell me now, Perias, did I make a mistake in not marrying?”
I was spellbound by this lady’s personality, courage and kindness. Unable to speak a word, I stopped the car in front of her house and opened the door for her.
” Sufficient for the day. Go and sleep”. She majestically walked towards her house.
” Hats off to you athai.” I whispered and turned the vehicle.
Before going to bed I have a habit of drinking a cup of hot coffee and hear music.
”Does Fate always has the last laugh ? I doubt, I doubt” I murmured while switching of the coffee machine and music system.
While slowly,inch by inch when getting immersed in the bliss of sleep, I could hear from the distance, like the winter breeze over the Sabhari hills, “Entharo Mahnubhavulu ‘
Let us call it a day, Bhagavan! Good night!